A Most Unlikely Caster
by NeonZangetsu
Summary: War. War never changes. It warps you, twists you until you're little more than a shell of your former self. War is ugly. It forces you to choose; to decide who lives. Who dies. War is cruel. It takes everything from you. I should know. I already fought in one. I DIED. Now I've been dragged into another by an unruly girl...as A Most Unlikely Caster. Here we go again! Narutoxharem!
1. Rebirth

**A/N: Surprise!**

 **DIDN'T see this coming, did you?**

 **I promised you all a serious NarutoxFate story, did I not?**

 **I keep my promises.**

 **So, here we are.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I own nothing related to Fate Stay Night or any of its content, etc, so on and so forth.**

 **Some of you wanted a less lighthearted story of Naruto taking place in the Holy Grail War. Yet a story with some vestige of hope all the same. Naruto is still Naruto after all, even if he's a bit broken in the beginning, with time and friends, he always comes around...** **eventually. Forgive him for being a bit unhinged in the beginning. Why? Read on and you'll see...**

 **Also, Last Stardust by Aimer was one HELL of a thing to listen to while writing it.**

 **Hope you enjoy!**

 **Fair warning...**

 **...it might break your heart.**

 **And now, I proudly present...**

 **...A new epic!**

 _"_ _Do not go gently into that good night._

 _Rage, rage against the dying of the light."_

 _~?_

 **Rebirth**

 _Why am I here?_

 _Why can't I see anything?_

 _Why can't I feel my hands Or my feet?_

 _I can't see anyone. I can't feel anything. I don't hear anyone either. No scent. No sense of touch. I can only think. My mind is all I have. Damnit. I've never been one for overthinking things. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. No matter how you look at it I'm screwed, aren't I?_ _How long have I been here? I don't know. I can't remember. Minutes? Hours? Days? Weeks? Months? Years? There's nothing here. Kurama? Are you there? Can you hear me? I'm here! Hello?! No. I'm alone. I must be. Even if I wasn't, I'd have no way of hearing them. Is this death?_

 _Did I...die?_

 _Or am I dreaming?_

 _No, no, no. I must have died._

 _If I'm not dead, then I shouldn't be here._

 _Its the only way any of this mess makes sense._

 _Hmm. That aside, I'm being awfully calm about this._

 _It doesn't bother me, it doesn't both-IT BOTHERS ME A LOT!_

 _Alright, alright. Calm down, me! Try to remember what happened._

 _Yes, this is wrong._

 _This can't possibly be right._

 _I won._

 _Didn't I?_

 _I won the war. Our-no, my war. Against that...thing. Kaguya. I said I would destroy her and I did. I promised Sasuke. I never go back on my word. It took me years upon years, but I destroyed her. I know I did. I had to. If I didn't, I wouldn't be here. I'm sorry. There was no other way. With Sasuke gone, we had no effective method of sealing her away. Killing her wasn't enough. No. Nowhere near enough. We had to annihilate her. Down to the last atom. But we couldn't. It was only the three of us back then, in the beginning. Me. Sakura. Kakashi-sensei. Yet still we..._

 _No._

 _I remember now._

 _I don't want to remember!_

 _Don't make me see their deaths!_

 _Stop. Stop stop stop stopstopstopstop!_

 _..._

 _..._

 _..._

 _...I killed them._

 _They died for my sake._

 _Sacrificed themselves for me._

 _And for what? What good did it do them?_

 _I wound up sacrificing myself in the end for crying out loud!_

 _I fought that creature alone for so long, all those years and years...and finally...finally...I found a way._ _At the cost of my body I destroyed her and Black Zetsu. Dragged them down to Hell with me. She can't reincarnate if there's nothing left of her body or soul. HE can't sow discord if he's a pile of ash._ _Ah, now I understand. I must be in Hell._

 _A hero?_

 _Me?_

 _What kind of hero allows his friends to die?_

 _Damnit, if only I had a second chance._

 _A way to...start over, redo it all._

 _I'd do anything for that wish._

 _My wish..._

* * *

 _(...Many Centuries Later...)_

* * *

 _"Preparations, ready."_

A distant voice reached him suddenly, as though spoken from afar.

 _"Time, good. By performing the summoning at two a.m. when my mana's at its peak, I'll get Saber, even without a catalyst! For the elements silver and iron. For the foundation, stone and the Archduke of Contracts. For the ancestor, my great master, Schweinorg. Close the gates of the cardinal directions."_

What was this sensation?

 _"Come forth from the Crown and follow the forked road leading to the kingdom. Fill, fill, fill, fill, fill. Repeat five times. But when each is filled, destroy it."_

The faint series of thoughts that amounted to consciousness slowly turned, regarding this new voice. After what felt like an eternity alone in the dark it was almost humbling. To finally hear someone. Something. Anything at all. But whose voice was this? He didn't recognize it. Nay, it was something of a miracle that he understood it at all. Her? It sounded like a young girl. As if a hand had reached out to him in the dark, so too did he find the vague semblance of hope stir in his soul for the first time in eons. If he was hearing a voice, then perhaps he hadn't failed after all.

 _"Set."_

Eh?

Set?

Set what?

 _"My will creates your body and your sword creates my destiny. If you heed the Grail's call and obey my will and reason, then answer me."_

"...I'm here." a like a warrior struggling through mud, a coherent thought swam to the surface of his mind. "Who are you?"

 _"I hereby swear...that I shall be all the good in the world. That I shall defeat all evil in the world."_

Yes, now he remembered. He'd defeated evil, once. Crushed it, at great cost.

 _"You seven heavens, clad in these three great words of power..._

Why did he need power? To protect of course, but also...

 _...come forth from the circle of binding..._

Yes, that's right. His name was...!

 _...guardian of the scales!"_

With that single command his world came flooding back.

"YES!" A triumphant shout ripped through ears he'd long since assumed deaf. "I did it! Wait, what are you _-eek?!"_

Pain ripped through his senses like a great and cleansing flood, the sudden and unexpected weight of possessing a _body_ again nearly throwing him forward outright.

Despite his best attempts to stand on his own power he stumbled instead; flailing into the smoke, shoulder slamming headlong into an unprepared party. A slightly-startled yelp greeted him within the smoke and his body reacted in response. Years of honed instinct took hold. Seemingly of their own accord his arms surged forward, calling a staff in his right hand to steady himself while simultaneously seizing his would-be host with the left. With the immediate danger now past, the last of his senses finally reasserted themselves with a vengeance. The acrid stench of singed wood flooded his nose, accompanied by the faint sound of labored breathing below his chest. He became keenly aware of his heart, now hammering in a panic as he struggled to adjust to his new surroundings.

A shaft of moonlight lanced through the darkness, illuminating the one he'd crashed into.

He blinked, vision returning slowly, eyes adjusting from centuries in the abyss.

Then he saw.

Saw her.

 _Her._

A pair of aqua orbs gazed up at him in open disbelief, framed by dark hair the color of midnight, the latter bound in twin ponytails on either side of her visage. Indeed, that pale face held a slight pink flush to it, her mouth working wordlessly, struggling to form words as he gazed down at her. He didn't blame her. He found himself just as lost in this as she was. His memories were a-jumble again, flung to the winds by the abruptness of his arrival here...wherever here was. Just where the hell had he wound up? No, putting that aside, he was fairly certain that he shouldn't be crushing her to his chest like this...

Wordlessly, he released her.

Somehow her flush only deepened when she stepped away.

"Ah." the girl thanked him meekly, flushing as she stood and adjusted her blouse and skirt. "Yes, thank you...

 _...is that I'm saying to him, but this is a total disaster! I screwed up! Again!"_

Despite her feigned gratitude, Rin's first thought was one of dismay.

This man was _clearly_ not a Saber.

Judging by his black staff alone and the many rings it bore, she could only assume he must be a _Caster_ class or some variant thereof. Of course, she could've been wrong-even hoped she was!-but something in his ragged appearance took her waves of hope and dashed them against the bitter rocks of despair. For all his torn jacket and trousers might suggest otherwise, however, those were the eyes of a warrior. Even now he was assessing her, sizing her up, looking for any sign of weakness. Worse still, he seemed completely and utterly dissatisfied with her. As though she'd not only failed to meet his standards, but failed as a human being as well.

 _'So its the silent treatment, huh? We'll see about that!'_

"Well," she ventured stiffly, "Who are you supposed to be? Are you my servant?"

"...?"

Keen blue eyes snapped toward her, burning with the light of a thousand suns. Despite herself Tohsaka flinched. But instead of speaking, the young man continued to regard her with that same eerie expression. Taking a measure of her, perhaps? Or was it something else entirely? Was that a ghost of a smile she'd seen just now, lingering on his lips? As though sensing that very thought he pushed himself against his staff and straightened, standing tall and proud. A spark of arrogance flickered in his eyes and for a heartbeat she saw all that he was. Confidence. Joy. Sorrow. So many emotions.

And in spite of that he stood before her, unbowed.

Something in that gaze of his unnerved her.

Just what kind of servant was this?!

A muscle jumped in her jaw.

"Well?! Say something! Are you a Saber or not?!"

Perhaps provoked by her demand, the being before her guffawed.

Little more than a croak of bleak laughter, it echoed between them, proud and defiant to the last. Yet somehow kind. Gentle. As though he were a mighty oak and she a mere sapling, he seemed to find her anger amusing somehow. He wasn't mocking her. His brief bout of laughed carried with it both joy and sorrow, the cry of a man who'd seen far too much and gone to his rest only to be dragged back to the world again. Rin watched him double over in disbelief, unable to contain himself, and it fanned the flames of her anger ever higher.

"Why are you lau-

In a flash he stood before her.

 _'When did he move?!'_

Eyes the color of bloody rubes bored into hers as their foreheads touched.

 _"Because its funny."_ a rough voice issued forth from his lips, weak from years of disuse, but growing stronger with each passing moment. "I was dead, and now...look! I'm not. Thanks for getting me outta that place. I owe ya one. Later." His scarred hand patted her cheek, and for a moment Rin glimpsed a strange circular mark glowing upon his hand. It vanished when she turned her discerning gaze upon it, but she sensed it still. There was something _there._ She knew not what, only that it blazed against her senses like a beacon. Impossible to miss. But the way he'd just spoken to her...did he really not understand how this worked?!

He!

Was!

Meant!

To!

Obey!

Her!

 _Obey!_ Not flounce about like a frivolous fool! Just who did he think he was?! Granted, she hadn't expected _complete_ obedience right off the bat, but a _little_ loyalty would be nice! Not...whatever this was! Her mind refused to accept this complete and utter refusal. This...this was a joke of some sort. A joke, right? It had to be! He was just playing around. Messing with her. Yes, that was it! Instead-to Rin's infinite dismay-her Servant paid her absolutely no heed whatsoever. Indeed, he marched right past her, striding toward the exit without so much as a backward glance. She nearly used a Command Spell right then and there, consequences be damned.

Ironically, pride stayed her hand.

Flailing she lashed out, seizing his wrist.

"Wait! So you're not...

 _"Saber?"_ a touch of annoyance finally suffused his voice as he turned to face her. "Who's that? The name's Naruto...

Magus though she was, Tohsaka Rin found herself wholly and utterly unprepared for what came next.

A low growl snaked its way between them, but it didn't come from the young man's mouth.

In an instant, Naruto's cutting gaze softened into something akin to sheepish dismay.

...say, you wouldn't happen to have any ramen would you?"

To her credit, Rin managed an eloquent:

 _...what."_

 **A/N: Gah!**

 **And Rin's got an unruly servant.**

 **I've really gone and done it now, haven't I?!**

 **Thought it was best to end it on that note, given the chapter.**

 **Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war! And there we have it! The idea of having Naruto summoned by Rin had never occurred to me before, if only because I didn't want to replace the pure and unadulterated BADASS that is Archer. So I didn't. That's right, Archer's still kicking around in this universe. As is Medea, in a sense. Now, now, I'm sure you're all wondering, how? How did you keep them around, Neon? Well, that's a good question. Unfortunately, I'm not going to answer it.**

 **...yet.**

 **So let's clarify here, folks. We've got a post-war Naruto with incredible power who did NOT lose his arm and still retains most of his abilities. Yes, most. I say "most" because, well...you'll see. He's not invincible or all powerful and he certainly isn't omnipotent. What class was he summoned as? Well, that should be obvious as well, if not outright stated in the chapter!**

 **Expect chaos and incredible battles to ensue!**

 **So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review, Would You Kindly?**

 **And enjoy the preview!**

 **They're rough atm, so don't think too much of them~!**

 **(Previews)**

 _"Ha! What a stupid Caster!"_

 _Naruto exhaled._

 _"Oi, now..._

 _It was a long and deep shuddering sigh that wracked his entire body from head to toe; such that Rin found herself physically shrinking backward. When next her comrade raised his gaze, there was no trace of the mercy he had shown Ilya mere moments before. What were those eyes? Why were they red? They didn't look human; rather, the cross-shaped pupils resembled that of a beast_

 _An angry, savage creature, who, until moments ago, had done his best to restrain himself._

 _...I'm a little angry at the moment, Rin. Stand back."_

 _"Wait, what are you going to-_

 _Slitted eyes narrowed._

 _Turned._

 _"Berserker, was it?" the blond's voice emerged as a low snarl. "Your master said you were invincible, right? That you can't die, right? Good..._

 _Raising a hand, he began channeling chakra to his palm._

 _Slowly, inexorably, a keening shriek arose._

 ** _...you'll be my punching bag!"_**

* * *

 _"What kind of monster of a man are you?!"_

 _As Shinji looked on in terror, Caster's shadow became something hideous._

 _"Oh, trust me, I'm more monster than man..._

* * *

 _"Humans are ugly creatures. Mongrels. They scream and they steal and they hate. What good are such beings in the end?"_

 _"Even so...I envy them, in their fleeting beauty."_

 _"Ho? And what could YOU possibly envy?"_

 _"Their determination."_

 _"Ha! So foolish!"_

* * *

 _Archer arched an eyebrow._

 _"You've got it rough with that one."_

 _Naruto's sole response was to palm his face._

 _"Ohhhhh, you have absolutely no bloody idea..._

* * *

 _"You're just a mongrel! What can you possibly do?!"_

 _"MORE THAN YOU!"_

 ** _R &R~! _**

**_=D_**


	2. A Leaf in the Wind

**A/N:** **Disclaimer: I own NOTHING related to BlazingAzureCrow. They're a massive inspiration!**

 **It's My Birthday~!**

 **Eh, well it is as I write this Author's Note.**

 **Semantics!**

 **I'm back at it again!**

 **I was honestly surprised by the positive reception this got! Almost universally pleasant at that! Now let's answer some questions, shall we? And since SOME people are getting uppity about my long author's notes, I'm going to cut this one short and only answer FOUR questions this time around.**

 **Q:** **Does Naruto possess a Noble Phantasm?**

 **A: More than one** **, actually, given his present alignment and they're not to be trifled with. Also.**

 **NO the Rasenshuriken's not one of them! He can use that on his own!**

 **Q: What is Naruto's Class?**

 **A: Caster THIS TIME around, but he's not as squishy as you'd think. I dare say he's got a dual class like Semiramis. Caster and...? Well, it oughta be obvious...**

 **Q: Where's Kurama?**

 **A: As to whether Naruto can utilize Kurama's power, well, you'll see.**

 **Q: Can't you make this a harem? Those are your best stories!**

 **A: Well, the pairing's NarutoxRin and I honestly don't see a chance to change that, unless someone can convince me. Saber and Sakura would honestly care more for Shirou, and I don't see Rider turning her coat anytime soon. And Ilya...hmm. We'll see. Furthermore, I feel making this a harem would visibly detract from the story; that is two broken individuals trying to find common ground in a war that neither is prepared for.**

 **And another note, Bazett is presently still Lancer's master, because FUCK Kirei.**

 **With a rusty hammer, you ask?**

 **More like A THOUSAND RUSTY HAMMERS!**

 **It also provides more variety as she so seldom lives.**

 **There.**

 **Now, I proudly present...**

 **...A Ninja's War!**

 _"Look, just call me Naruto, alright?"_

 _"Eh? Why?"_

 _"Sounds better than Caster."_

 _"Fine. Naruto, then. About your Noble Phantasm-_

 _"I won't use it."_

 _"I beg your pardon?"_

 _...only if you want your enemies to see hell."_

 _"What are you, the devil?"_

 _"RIN!"_

 _~?_

 **A Leaf in the Wind**

Rin was not happy.

Nay, to say Tohsaka wasn't _amused_ would be an understatement of the grandest order; for what she felt at this moment went far beyond mere annoyance. She was well past the white-hot magma of rage that had once consumed her. Now she found herself locked into glacial fury, cold and exacting. Why? Because she had failed. An intimate, hidden part of her instinctively recoiled at the notion-but it was true. Not only had she _failed_ to summon the Saber she had so aspired toward, but she'd also drawn possibly _the_ worst card for this war. Especially given her talents. Of all the classes she could had summoned-of all the myriad possibilities-she'd gotten herself saddled with one of the most troublesome!

A Caster.

She'd summoned a Caster _-in theory a glass cannon-_ as her servant. Not a front line fighter. His talents likely mirrored hers, which meant a direct confrontation with another Servant was absolutely out of the question. Nor could she force him to leave-short of using all her Command Seals-nay, she couldn't even afford to rid herself of him for fear of bringing the rest of the War down on her head.

In short?

Rin was pissed.

Worse, she couldn't foist the blame off on anyone else. No, this mishap was hers and hers alone. She had been at fault for failing to realize the clocks were an hour ahead. She had failed to realize her error in judgement. She had summoned this surly servant. She and _she_ alone was at fault here. She knew that. Accepted it. Owned it. She had only herself to blame, and she loathed herself for such a slip.

 _'Why? Why, why, WHY did I summon a Caster?!'_

Even now her shoulders physically shook in an effort to contain herself as she took in the sight before her.

Because said _Caster_ was currently gorging himself on _ramen._

That, and draining her wallet.

With great slurping sounds Naruto all but _inhaled_ the food set out before him, bowl after bowl of broth vanishing down his gullet in the blink of an eye. Whenever one finished he pounced on the next, devouring it with an almost bestial gusto. Rin was sorely beginning to regret taking him out at all; but going to a convenience store alone with a _war_ on was out of the question. In the end she'd forced him to calm down and dragged him here to this restaurant. She'd also managed to wring a promise out of him in return: he wasn't to run off while they were outside the manor. And remarkably, he hadn't.

 _Yet._

Loathe as she was to admit it, the changes of clothes suited Caster.

Somewhere in between the time she'd taken him out and now, he'd inexplicably repaired his outfit and procured himself a new cloak as well. Whether he'd stolen it from her father's things-unlikely?-or simply summoned it himself, she had to admit the color suited him. She simply couldn't understand it. A Hokage's cloak? As in Fire Shadow? Just what manner of cloak was it meant to be? Thrown over her his open jacket, it lent him a strange air of regal charm, if such a thing existed. Almost, but not quite. Rin remembered the brutish side of him she'd seen all too well and refused to believe otherwise-until her Servant made her.

With his hair clean and his face cleansed of grime, he looked downright striking.

Now if only her Servant would stop making a complete and absolute pig of himself...!

"Do you have to eat like that?" she hissed quietly, keening aware of the attention he was drawing from other patrons.

"Sorry!" came the muffled retort as the blond dug into his umpteenth bowl. "I'm starving!"

She'd gathered as much already, but his dismissal rankled her all the same.

"I was under the impression that Servants didn't need to eat."

"Guess I'm an exception to the rule, Rin-chan."

 _"Must_ you call me that?"

"Yes. I must."

 _"Aaaargh!"_

From what she'd managed to glean of his past, Naruto was indeed a bona fide Heroic Spirit. And a rather old one at that. Downright ancient even. The words had come haltingly at first, but with time-and copious amounts of food-he'd told her his story. By his own account he'd single-handedly slain a goddess and saved the world from complete annihilation-at the cost of his own life. A noble sacrifice, to be sure. Rin knew of only a handful of heroes so committed to their cause; few indeed were those brave souls who willingly marched to the slaughter just to take their enemy down with them. Truly a noteworthy feat to be sure, but his manners left much to be desired. Watching Naruto ravage his meal like a starving mongrel, Tohsaka found it hard to believe that this bedraggled vagabond could save anyone much less himself.

There was another _tiiiiiiny_ problem.

Judging by his utter unfamiliarity with just about _everything_ , this was his first Holy Grail War.

 _Such misfortune!_

Honestly, it was enough to drive her mad!

Almost despairing her cause as lost, she channeled prana to her eyes and risked a glance at his status.

Once again she found herself baffled by the enigma known as Uzumaki Naruto.

 _...what.'_

His stats...they were absurd. Everything was ranked A or higher. And his mana...! What kind of rank was that?! She couldn't even _read_ it! There was something else she noticed, as well. A faint red aura seemed to coat his body like a second skin, visible only now that she channeled energy to her eyes. It looked almost...alive. The longer she looked, the more certain she became. There was certainly something there. But what? The faint gold and crimson aura _seemed_ harmless enough, yet here her instincts betrayed her. It felt _wrong._ As though it were aware. No, not it. _They._

As she looked on, Caster's aura flowed upward, assuming the likeness of nine independent creatures.

They did not look pleased to see her. No, not in the least.

Rin suddenly found she couldn't breathe.

The very sight of these ancient beasts stole her breath away in a heartbeat; a crushing fist of fear wrapping long icy fingers around her heart and squeezed viciously. All she'd seen, all she knew, all of it paled in the face of this entity. This...this was death. Chaos. Madness. Destruction incarnate. And it saw her. She stared into the abyss _and the abyss stared back_ the sight of it reducing her to a quivering wreck. She felt infinitely small before them, a tiny speck of dirt compared to the vastness of the power towering over her. Still the grew, towering over her. No, this went beyond magic, this was...was...

A flaming eye abruptly burst open, its pupil swiveling towards her.

 _'Stop!'_ her mind railed at her. _'Stop looking, you idiot!'_

She couldn't.

Its owner, a looming vulpine creature with red fur, saw her and leaned forward.

The creature's mouth split in a toothy grin.

 **"What do we have here?"**

It saw her.

It.

Saw.

HER?!

 _"YEEEEK!"_

Yelping, she severed the connection and leaped out of her seat.

Of course, this had the unfortunate side effect of upending the table and sending Naruto's meal flying in absolutely _every_ direction. Rin scarcely noticed the mess she'd inadvertently created. Nor did she care. The sight of that _thing_ rendered her a trembling mess; it took all of her strength just to cling to her sanity and not be reduced to a gibbering mess by what she'd witnessed. Even now her heart hammered in her ears in frantic clarity, like the drums of a great hunt out for blood. Her blood. In short, rational thought was very much a _secondary_ concern at the moment!

"Oh, dear." over the hammering of her heart and her own short breathing, the magus heard her servant sigh. "You saw them, didn't you?"

 _Them?!_

Just what kind of monster had she summoned?!

Did he house those...those _things?!_

"What...are you?!"

Her Servant favored her with a sad smile.

"You already know who I am, Rin-chan. Oi! Waitress! We're leaving!" With a great guffaw, the blond deposited his unfinished bowl upon the floor on the table and beckoned the waitress in question over to them. When she approached to ask for the check he waved his hand before her face in a swift horizontal slant. The motion carried with it the faintest touch of his prana, nearly invisible to the naked eye as it settled around its unsuspecting target. A distant, almost glazed expression overtook her features when next he spoke:

"We do not need to pay." the blond instructed curtly.

For a moment, she looked ready to protest.

Then, incredibly, she bobbed her head.

"You...do not need to pay."

 _"Its on the house."_

"On the house." the girl parroted numbly.

Naruto beamed.

"Good girl. Now, then! Off we go...!"

Then without further preamble, he rounded on Rin. Strong arms wrapped around her quivering frame with infinite care, gently yet firmly lifting her from her seat. Laying her head against his chest. A strong, steady heart beat resounded in her ears and despite the trauma she'd only just endured, Rin colored. Why was her holding her like this?! Was this the infamous princess carry?! Stunned as she was, she sputtered and kicked her legs, but her token resistance which was easily overcome by her Servant's grasp. Humming softly to himself, the reborn shinobi sauntered outside.

"H-Hey! What are you-?!"

"Shut up and accept my generosity."

With that, he gathered his legs beneath them and _leaped._

This time around, Rin's shriek was entirely of her own volition.

"What are you _dooooooooooooing?!"_

Whatever reply her Servant gave was swallowed up by the wind. Instinct took over; the Tohsaka heiress buried her head in Naruto's chest and threw both her arms around Naruto's neck to hold on for dear life, fearing she might somehow be swept away in the gale. _Don't look down, don't look down, don't look, oh dear God above why did I look?!_ Despite her best efforts to remain otherwise curiosity almost immediately got the better of Rin and she found herself risking a glance. What she saw there made her regret that very decision.

Instantly.

Regret.

It.

The ground was so far as to be unrecognizable below them, Fuyuki rendered little more than a stained blur. Even now the momentum of Naruto's leap was still carrying them forward with such intensity that it physically stung her eyes to look at it. In the end, she found herself forced to avert her stinging eyes lest she go blind. Somehow, the prospect of _not_ seeing where they were going was even more terrifying. Even then, the vague sensation of slowly falling did little to settle her rattled nerves.

"Huh." a low rumble reverberated through Naruto's chest into her ears. "I didn't mean to jump _this_ far. Looks like I was brought back at my peak-no, more than that."

Dark blue eyes settled on her.

"You've got some explaining to do, missy."

Something in his tone brooked no argument.

"Fine, fine! I said alright! Can we just land _please?!"_

"As you wish."

As though waiting for that very moment the air around them _lurched_ and their controlled fall turned into a meteoric descent. This time, Rin daren't look, if only for fear of seeing the ground rush up to greet them. Her poor heart could only take so much shock in one night! Still, she felt the landing all the same, sensed the earth buckling beneath them as her Servant bent his legs and absorbed the force of their crash through his knees. A soft grunt of annoyance informed her that they'd arrived at their destination.

"This'll do." he declared.

Settling neatly into a crouch, her Servant deposited her upon a nearby bench.

Wait.

 _Bench?_

Blinking away the tears, Rin realized they'd landed in an abandoned park-thank god!-with no passerby to be seen. Rather fitting all things considered; she would've been hard-pressed to conceal a landing like that. Naruto for his part, didn't seem to care. That carefree gleam had left his eyes, replaced by tempered steel. If she didn't know better, she'd say her Servant was displeased with her.

"Now," he began, glowering at her intently, "I have just one question."

Oh, spirits above. He _was_ angry with her, wasn't he?

...and that would be?" Rin posited weakly.

Her Servant turned his gaze on her.

"What is the Holy Grail War?"

So she told him.

She told him all she knew.

In hushed tones, she explained everything she knew to her erstwhile Servant. The Holy Grail War. It purpose. The Servants. Everything. Caster didn't question her; rather, he merely folded his arms before his chest and listened intently. No questions were asked, no demands levied, no challenges issued. For all his brash and bluster earlier, the blond proved himself a remarkable listener when he wanted to. It was the wish that captured his attention, however. She could see it in his eyes. Pain. Need. An unutterable longing to correct his past mistake. For redemption. Rin suspected as much. Any Heroic Spirit would jump at such a chance and Naruto was certainly no exception. To have their greatest desires granted them was a tempting prize even for a magus.

And in the end, Naruto surprised her once again.

"I guess that make sense." he began slowly, nodding as she tucked her knees into her chest. "It explains why I know so much about this era and why I feel connected to you. So, basically this is a war and there's a wish, meaning I have to kill my-our-enemies to get it. I've been summoned as Caster this time around due to my...unique skill set. Correct? And," his eyes lingered on her hand with frightful intensity, "You can only compel me against my will three times. How am I doing so far?"

...that's oddly cold, coming from you."

"Is it?" Again the gaze of a warrior, masquerading as a fool. "I won't be held responsible if you order me to do anything cruel."

Her pride prickled at the unspoken jab.

"Just who do you take me for?!"

"A good person, hopefully." the blond chided her lightly, a stray smile breaking through his stony facade. "Who knows? Then again, I've been wrong before." Just like that his brief bout of mirth vanished, hidden behind a painful memory. Why? Did he he expect her to betray him? For all his talk of war, Caster was entirely too paranoid for his own good. She had no intention of upending her one and only chance to win this war.

Perhaps Naruto sensed as much.

Perhaps he didn't care.

It mattered not.

"And the other servants...?"

"What about them?" Again that blank stare, utterly devoid of emotion. "The others are strangers to me. Enemies. If they surrender, great. If not...well...I'll try to make their deaths quick. Its the least I can do."

"Do you have a wish?"

Rin regretted it immediately.

A spark of anger ignited deep inside those azure eyes, burning them red. For a terrible hearts-topping moment moment she feared he might actually attack at her. But that stubborn Tohsaka pride reared its head and she stood-rather, sat-her ground and didn't budge. In the end, it was Naruto who yielded, turning his gaze away with an irritated snort.

"I screwed up." he relented in the end. "If I can go back to the moment where it all went wrong, then maybe...

His words trailed away and he said no more of it.

Instead, he deflected it back on her.

"Do you?"

A thousand petty thoughts sprang to the forefront of Rin's mind. She could bring Father back! Or...or...! No. Ruthlessly she tamped them down.

"I don't have one." she lied. "I just want to get to Akasha."

 _"Bless you."_

"No, Caster! you dolt! Akasha is _-hey?!"_

"Let me stop you right there." the blond interjected, poking her nose with a lone finger. "Just call me Naruto, alright? This Caster stuff...I don't like it."

"Eh? Why?"

 _"Because."_

"Fine. Naruto, then. Now, about your Noble Phantasm-

"I won't use them."

 _'Them?!'_

Servants were seldom known for possessing more than one Noble Phantasm, but the offhand way in which he'd dismissed her suggested otherwise. Indeed, Noble Phantasm were powerful armaments made using the imagination of humans as their core, and weapons or abilities owned by Heroic Spirits. Said to be the trump card of those superior beings, they were held to be the embodiment of the ultimate mysteries of a hero that symbolizes one's existence through historical facts and anecdotes. They could be...well, anything really. That Naruto outright refused to use his was somewhat...troubling.

"I beg your pardon?"

 _"I'll only use one..._

The ninja tilted his head, and for a moment, reality shifted.

 _...if you want your enemies to experience hell."_

In that instant Rin glimpsed another world.

She saw five stone faces; a mighty village overflowing with warriors innumerable, faces young and old alike. Here, a woman with flaming red hair the color of blood. There, a warrior with mismatching eyes. And others. So many others. They saw her. Some even waved. Yet she felt no fear. By contrast to his bloodthirsty aura this felt...peaceful. As though she were coming home from a long trip abroad. The sight of them stirred a strange longing in her. Never in her life had she needed something so much and never known until she received it. She wanted to meet them. Unbidden her right hand stretched out towards them...

...and reality reasserted itself with a vengeance.

"Ho?" Naruto arched an eyebrow. "You actually got a glimpse of it."

 _'What was that? A reality marble? Or..._

"Part of my world, yes." the blond replied with a wistful expression. "Well, it used to be."

"What are you, the devil?"

"RIN!"

Another crack appeared in the blond's stony facade as favored her with a small smile.

"Trust me, the devil's got nothing on...oh, balls to it!"

She wasn't expecting him to bend the knee.

"What are you...?"

"If I'm gonna get involved in another war, then we're gonna do this shit right." he groused, rapping his staff against the ground. "My name is Uzumaki Naruto of the Hidden Leaf! As your Servant, I so swear!" His sudden earnest behavior startled Rin; there was almost something childlike about his laughter. "Your will is my will! My weapons are your weapons. Your desires, mine. I will protect you until my dying breath. You have my word. And I never go back on my word. This promise, my nindo, shall bind me until the end of this war, or 'till death do us part."

"Nindo?"

A small, ghostly smiled adorned his face.

"Another time, another life-

His vacant expression abruptly sharpened.

 _"Move!"_

Everything happened all at once; a shadow fell over her in the same instant that a howling gale of air burst from Naruto's palm. The latter carried Rin away on unseen feet-then her servant vanished in an explosion of dirt and blood. Ruptured soil flew in every direction, blasted outward by the sheer force behind the blow. Tumbling backwards against the wind, the magus scrambled to her feet just in time to witness a _second_ blow rain down where Naruto had been standing. Dismayed she cried out, fearing Caster had been rendered a bloody pulp by their attacker. Only one thing could have struck so swiftly.

Another Servant?!

"Aw," a child's voice sighed from within the smoke. "You're not Onii-chan."

"I am not." Naruto answered, a rare thread of anger weaving itself into his words. "Really, I'm flattered."

"Oh, well." she sighed. "I suppose you'll do for now."

"Great. Now **GET! OFF!"**

"Berserker!"

"RASENGAN!"

An explosion of golden light blew the smoke away, punctuated by a furious snarl.

A heartbeat later, Naruto flickered back to her side with a breeze.

"Tch. He's pretty quick...

"You're bleeding." she realized with a start. Indeed, a thin red line trailed down the blond's scalp and into his right eye. He didn't look frightened; far from it, his eyes held an almost euphoric gleam to it. Absurd. She knew on some level that certain Servants were battle maniacs, but Naruto couldn't possibly be one of them...

...could he?

"Just a flesh wound." Caster muttered, looking past her. "Bastard caught me by surprise, that's all. So that's a Servant...can't believe he survived that."

Only then did Rin behold the Master and their pawn.

The latter was a great giant of a man; madness personified. Mismatching eyes of gold and red settling upon them, the great goliath loomed over all. Teeming with strength, bristling with power, the giant gazed down upon them in silent scorn. She couldn't think of anything else to call him other than large. This was no Lancer, certainly not Archer, and it couldn't be Assassin. Not likely a Rider, either. Nor Caster, for that class was firmly filled by Naruto. The Saber Class was _possible_ going by the great ax-like weapon he wielded, but no, the feral glint in his gaze told her all she needed to know.

 _'Of all the...!'_

"Allow me to introduce myself." By comparison, the titan's Master was a tiny little thing; a mere slip of girl decked out in purple furs from head to toe. Even now, she bowed to them. A cherubic face framed by white hair, her striking red eyes were both cold and cruel. She could've been a child. Assuming such would've been a mistake. "I am Illyasveil von Einzbern. This is my Servant, Berserker. Careful," she beamed. "He might drive you _insane."_

Berserker.

Just what abomination had the Einzberns summoned for this war?

Grimacing, she turned to face Caster-Naruto!-in the vain hope that he thought otherwise. She could see the faint scorch mark where Naruto's technique had impacted against the brute's stomach; even now it was healing, torn tissues slithering shut to reveal stone-grey flesh once more. What kind of Noble Phantasm was that?

 _"Please_ tell me you can hurt him."

Naruto's expression turned contemplative.

"Pretty sure I can. How much Prana are you willing to give up?"

"Plenty." She shifted ever so slightly, allowing him to take the lead. "Just don't kill me."

"Good to know. But first...

The sudden gleam in his eyes sent a cold shiver racing down Rin's spine.

"Illya, was it? You should leave." he tapped the ground with his staff for emphasis. "I don't like killing kids. I'll only say this once. Walk away."

Needless to say, the Einzbern took exception to that remark.

Red eyes narrowed to slits.

 _"Excuse me?"_

Naruto had no way of knowing he'd just insulted her; indeed, how could he? He knew nothing of Illya. He didn't realize he'd inadvertently mocked both her age and her resolve in one fell swoop. How was he to know any of this? Illya, meanwhile, was positively livid. How _dare_ he! Who did he think he was?! All her strength, all her resolved, belittled by this...this...this buffoon?! She'd show him! She'd show them all! Anyone who dared to mock her would meet a fate worse than death! Complete and utter despair!

Infuriated, she flicked two fingers towards them.

"Berserker, kill the girl first!"

Berserker required no further prodding.

In a single bound, he was upon Rin.

His bladed arced back.

Swung at her.

 _Too fast!_

Despite her best efforts, the magus froze. She saw the towering sword swing towards her throat and knew at once she wouldn't be able to stop it in time. No amount of jewels or prana on her part possibly could. This was death. Even as she bolted backwards she knew she wouldn't make it. The muffled displacement of air signaled Naruto's abrupt departure from her side. He was moving-but so slowly-swinging his frail-looking staff forward in a vain attempt to deflect the great cleaver about to take her life. Even then she feared he wouldn't possibly make it. Already she could see the weapon complete its devastating arc, imagine it tearing through flesh and bone and oh _damnit-_

"Rin!"

CLANG!

A terrible shockwave ripped through Tohsaka's body accompanied by a plume of cloying smoke. But there was no pain. Nothing at all, save the hammering of her heart. Instinct sent her skittering back regardless all the same, hands frantically patting herself down. Arms? Check. Legs? Check. Head? Check. Somehow remarkably intact despite what should've been her untimely end, her mind flailed for answers. In the end she had but to look up to realize what had transpired.

Naruto.

Her Servant stood between her and the demigod, his ringed staff raised in stubborn defiance of the enemy's overwhelming strength.

Intercepting the blow.

Blocking the sword.

Protecting her.

"Oi." a low growl trailed between his teeth. "I felt that."

Not only had the weapon withstood the sword, it appeared to be winning this clash of wills. As she looked on the blond twsited his arm down and to the side, causing Berserker's sword to crash past and trap itself against the soil beneath them. A sandalled foot stomped down, trapping the axe deeply in the dirt. Pinned by the weight of the weapon, the giant tugged furiously in an attempt to extricate its favored weapon. Too late, the beast decided to release its grip and strike out with its limbs, only for its prey to flow nimbly around its fist.

Exhaling, Naruto raised his free hand.

Placed it upon Berserker's chest.

Quietly, uttered two words.

 ** _"Shinra Tensei."_**

An invisible fist descended from the heavens to bat Berserker away as though he weighed no more than a child; the hand of an angry god come down from on high to smite him in recompense for his temerity. Impossibly, the giant landed a blow of his own in even as he tumbled away, slamming the edge of his blade into the blond's side with bonecrushing force. Naruto grunted in surprised but stoically accepted the wound, lunging after the flailing Servant before the beast had a chance to recover.

Snarling the blond bore back in, driving his staff into the giant's muscled chest.

A lethal blow by all accounts, yet still it again failed to fell Berserker.

"What the hell?! That's twice, now! Why aren't you dead, man?!"

"Ha!" Illya crowed. "What a stupid Caster! You can't kill him!"

Naruto exhaled.

"Oi, now...

It was a long and deep shuddering sigh that wracked his entire body from head to toe; such that Rin found herself physically shrinking backward. When next her comrade raised his gaze, there was no trace of the mercy he had shown Illya mere moments before. What were those eyes? Why were they red? They didn't look human; rather, the cross-shaped pupils resembled that of a beast. Her mind flashed back to the nine creatures she had seen, and part of her quailed. Yes, a beast fit the bill aptly.

An angry, savage creature, who, until moments ago, had done his best to restrain himself.

...I'm a little angry at the moment, Rin. Stand back."

"Wait, what are you going to-

Slitted eyes narrowed.

Turned.

"Berserker, was it?" the blond's voice emerged as a low snarl. "Your master said you were invincible, right? That you can't die, right? Good...

Raising a hand, he began channeling chakra to his palm.

Slowly, inexorably, a keening shriek arose.

 **...you'll be my punching bag!"**

Before she could argue, a column of golden light erupted from her Servant. What was this? A Noble Phantasm? Something else entirely? Whatever it was, it gave the monster pause, his assault stalling as the holy light all but sundered the sky. No, it seemed to envelop the world itself, swallowing up the park. And beyond. Like a great dome reaching out to encompass the entirety of the world, a boundless desire to see everything united in one, singular desire. Blinding in its intensity, even Berserker found himself forced to look away, lest he be blinded.

A lone leaf flickered across Rin's face.

Wait.

She'd _seen_ this...

"Behold!" When next Naruto's voice echoed, it was legion. "Welcome to my world."

Not just his voice but countless others, as if...

Only then did Rin Tohsaka truly see.

Naruto spread his arms wide.

 _"Welcome to my reality!"_

 **A/N: Yes, I just did that!**

 **Fight continues next chapter!**

 **On another note, there will be alliances in this story of course. Expect the unexpected! I aim to take this story down a different route than most, but the question is which? Hmm. We'll bump into ol' Shirou next chapter, and there'll be a clash of ideologies between him and Naruto for obvious reasons. As well as a few more surprises. I feel I should also state that Shirou DOES summon Saber by this point, albeit offscreen.**

 **I won't name the other Servants, ah, for the night is dark and full of spoilers...**

 **Expect chaos and incredible battles to ensue!**

 **So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review, Would You Kindly?**

 **And enjoy the up-and-coming previews!**

 **They're rough atm, so don't think too much of them~!**

 **(Previews)**

 _Not for long._

 _As she looked on, the beast threw caution to the wind and slammed his towering sword into Naruto's body, ripping him from his feet and through a score of trees._

 _From the ruins a massive golden claw burst from the storm to swat Ilya's servant aside._

 _Within moments Heracles righted himself, howling in bestial fury._

 _Locked deep within the rubble, another roar answered him._

 _"YOU KNOW NOTHING OF MONSTERS HERACLES!"_

* * *

 _"I know you're here somewhere, Assassin! Stop hiding!"_

 _The Servant flashed a small, rueful smile._

 _Then they stepped into the light._

 _"Long time no see, kid."_

 _Naruto froze._

 _"No...not you. Why are you here?!"_

* * *

 _Naruto's expression bordered dangerously on disgust._

 _"A hero of justice? Don't make me laugh, kid."_

 _"Even so, I-_

 _"No! You don't! Imbecile! Stand in the ashes of a trillion dead and ask them if honor matters!"_

* * *

 _Grunting, Naruto planted his staff into the ground._

 _With a shuddering sigh, his eyes went white._

 _"Damn, that's a nice Noble Phantasm..._

 ** _..LET ME SHOW YOU MINE."_**

* * *

 _...I think I'm in love."_

 _Rider sputtered wordlessly._

 _"I beg your pardon?!"_

* * *

 _"GAE BOLG!"_

 _Blue eyes bulged._

 _"Oh, fuck that entirely-_

* * *

 _"Give me the girl."_

 _"Go eat a-_

 _"GATE OF BABYLON!"_

 ** _R &R~! _**

**_=D_**


	3. Allies and Enemies

**A/N:** **Disclaimer: I own NOTHING related to BlazingAzureCrow. They're a massive inspiration!**

 **AND YES I BLOODY KNOW ILLYA'S REAL AGE! It was a typo!**

 **I'm back at it again!**

 **WITH A NICE LOOOONG CHAPTER!**

 **I was honestly surprised by the positive reception this got! Almost universally pleasant at that! Now let's answer some questions, shall we? It seems SOME people are getting uppity about my long author's notes, but that's just too bad. If I'm gonna write a story then damn it, I plan to answer questions! If you don't like the Q &A feel free to skip it at your own peril. You might get a bit lost without it, though...**

 **Q: Isn't Naruto a tad...vicious in this?**

 **A: Can you blame him? He's been through hell and now he has a chance to escape it. He doesn't know about the Grail's true nature. Neither does Rin.**

 **Q: Where are the Shadow Clones?!**

 **A: Berserker hasn't given Naruto time to use any. Yet.**

 **You'll see a couple this chapter!**

 **Q: Shinra Tensei?! How the hell did he do that?!**

 **A: Aside from the fact that this is SAGE OF SIX PATHS Naruto?**

 **I suppose I should give you some more detail on the matter.**

 **Alright, alright, a lot of people asked me this. It has something to do with Naruto's "Legend" as it were. Clearly he didn't have the ability originally. You can thank Sasuke for that. Tales often vary and grow ones deeds over time. Naruto is a classic example of that. Remember, Sasuke died and our 'ol blond was forced to find another way to kill Kaguya. Meaning Sasuke was never included as a part of that "Legend" and eventually most regarded Naruto as the sole savior of that "world" as such. As a result, he suddenly found himself with powers he didn't have before. Slap the Caster class on him and there you have it. Sage of Six Paths. He all but said it himself in the last chapter.**

 **He's been brought back _beyond_ his peak.**

 **Ergo, Rinnegan.**

 **He does NOT, however, possess the Sharingan. None of that life-hacks bullshit for him. Even having the Rinnegan comes at a tremendous cost...**

 **...that you shall soon see.**

 **Q: So...about Shinji and the Matou family...**

 **A: God help Shinji and Zouken if Naruto ever finds out what they've done to Sakura.**

 **Q: He's got a bloody Reality Marble, hasn't he?**

 **A: Its...different than most.**

 **How so, you ask?**

 **Not only is it incredibly draining but those within who respond to his summons aren't in a weakened state, unlike Iskandar's. Whomseover is summoned has** **full access to their powers, as well as the Noble Phantasms and abilities they possessed during their legends...**

 **...at a high cost.**

 **Naruto's prana/chakra, or what have you.**

 **When that runs out? It start draining Rin's prana instead.**

 **Even with that jewel holding TEN YEARS of mana, its horribly draining.**

 **Overuse of this skill-though he has yet to realize-basically endangers his and her very life.**

 **Q: We haven't gotten much of Naruto's perspective, yet. How come?**

 **A: Until now he's simply been reacting. This chapter he takes the initiative of his own volition and we get to see what he thinks of certain things, people, etc. For example, he's NOT a fan of Shirou. In his eyes, Emiya is naive and has lost nothing. Naruto? His world BURNED. He lost everyone and everything, including his own life. Of course SOME people survived, but he doesn't know that. Given he had to destroy his own body to make certain Kaguya wouldn't come back, I'm not surprised.**

 **And OH you can expect him and Gilgamesh to clash, and clash HARD.**

 **This chapter actually focuses on all Nine servants themselves.**

 **Oh, dear.**

 **Did I say Nine?**

 **Why, yes! I believe I did!**

 **Now, I can proudly present...**

 **...the next chapter of A Ninja's War!**

 **LET'S CONTINUE THE BRAWL SHALL WE~?!**

 _"I'm sorry, Illya. This is the end for you."_

 _"What is this?! This shouldn't be possible! Even for...!_

 _"Behold my comrades! Though they have fallen on the field of battle, they still live fondly in my heart! Here! In this world!"_

 _"Idiot! That's not fair! Not fair! Not fair at all!"_

 _"Ninja don't play fair, Illya! Now..._

 _"No, don't-_

 ** _...ADVANCE!"_**

 _~?_

 **Allies and Enemies**

Gilgamesh opened his eyes.

"Ho?" he murmured. "What's this?"

Slowly, he turned blood red eyes to the horizon.

Stirred from myriad thoughts by a sudden influx of Prana, the King of Heroes could not help but take notice from his resting place. Indeed, the night itself seemed to take heed and grow bright as day; the primal brilliance of the light briefly outstripping the sun for the merest of moments before the dark reasserted itself with a vengeance. Then, as swiftly as it had emerged, the flow of Prana ceased. As though someone had simply flipped a switch, or the two combatants had simply taken their battle beyond this reality and into another.

Naught compared to his own powers of course, but worth noting all the same.

It almost felt familiar, perhaps he'd experienced this phenomenon once before in the past...

Nevertheless, his interest was piqued by this occurrence.

No doubt the other Servants were already quaking in their boots.

Perhaps _this_ mongrel might yet prove more entertaining than the rest...

* * *

 _(...The Matou Residence...)_

* * *

Rider was going to kill her Master.

But not by her own hand; no, that way lay madness.

Her plan was far more cunning, savage in its complexity.

She'd just needed to wait for the right opportunity to appear.

That Assassin had been right after all; to think, he'd actually spoken the truth when he'd approached her!

The thought almost made her giddy. Vengeance, at last! Finally, that _worm_ would get what he deserved-no, what he deserved was a slow death. A long one. Arduous. Painful. She wanted to gut him, to bleed him, to rend his flesh into ribbons, tear him limb from limb. She wanted to hear him scream and cry and beg for forgiveness. Among other things. Fury was not a new sensation for her, but it still rankled her all the same. Pain. Despair born from helplessness. Delusion. The naive belief that everything would be alright. Indescribable feeling one she remembered all too well from her distant past.

Plainly put, Shinji was an idiot.

And an abusive one at that.

Not to her of course-she'd never tolerate such thing-but to his Her old master. Sakura. The poor girl was too kind for her own. Too sweet. Too gentle. Too pure. Too easily taken advantage of. As such a kind soul, she had no interest in fighting the Grail War and thus, had foisted her Command Seals onto her adopted brother at his "urging". Ah, but if Shinji were to suffer an _accident_ then the Contract would return to Sakura. From there she would be able to do as she willed, without Shinji's interference. Zouken would have to be dealt with by her hand of course, but perhaps she was getting ahead of herself...

If what she sensed taking place was real, Medusa at long last had the answers she'd so feverishly sought out.

Be it through an alliance or other means, she swore to herself that she would find a way to save Sakura.

Anyone who wielded such power could surely sever the link between her and Shinji...

...perhaps then her _true_ Master would finally know peace.

* * *

 _(...Somewhere Among the Rooftops of Fuyuki...)_

* * *

Archer acted on instinct.

For a man whose life had once been defined by ideals, instinct was one of the few things that remained. Few indeed. He'd cast his pride aside long ago, after all. Instinct was better. Instinct didn't get you killed. Instinct didn't stab you in the back. Presently, those instincts were telling Archer to _stay the fuck away_ from whatever was going on in that park. At first, he'd intended to wait Berserker and Caster out, then finish off whomever triumphed. To the victor went the spoils and what-not.

Not anymore.

Not that it mattered.

Not after what he'd seen.

And now there was a _third_ one there!

He couldn't kill _him_ if one of them killed him.

His goal remained much the same, despite the unfortunate...circumstances regarding his Master. And unless circumstances dictated it or _she_ outright ordered him otherwise, he was going to do everything in his power to avoid _that._ Archer knew more than a thing or two about Reality Marbles, and that was most _certainly_ a Reality Marble he'd seen Caster utilize down there. One equal to or possibly even above his own Unlimited Blade Works. A warped and twisted reality that defied all concept of sanity or sense, one capable of swallowing up someone like that crazed Berserker. Perhaps even defeating him.

 _"Ohohoho!"_ As if waiting for that very moment, his Master's grating laugh rang through their link. _"I didn't think you were one to run away from a fight. Archer."_

Of all the people who could have summoned him...

...why did it have to be _her?_

"I am when its suicide." he growled. "Your grudge with Tohsaka can wait, can't it?"

 _"Fair enough."_ remarkably, she relented. _"Come back to me for now."_

"...on my way."

Risking one last glance below, he departed.

Emiya had no intention of seeing the outcome.

So, no, he would _not_ be engaging Caster tonight.

No amount of Command Seals could persuade him otherwise.

After all, you'd have to a complete and utter idiot to rush to your death...

* * *

 _(...?...)_

* * *

Lancer sneezed.

"ACHOO!"

A great shuddering convulsion ripped through his body as the sound echoed through the park; leaving him doubled over in a fit of annoyance. Tch. Late. Of course he was late. He really did have the _worst_ luck. Honestly, it just wasn't fair. If he'd been even a few seconds earlier he might've seen what all that commotion was about. As things stood now, his arrival merely coincided with a bright flash of light, followed by the complete and utter _absence_ of the Prana he'd been tasked with following detected. Damnit, it was enough to drive a man mad! Someone had been throwing massive amounts of it around with reckless abandon!

So where the hell had it gone?!

In the end Lancer glimpsed two Servants and their Masters from afar before the light swallowed them up. But a glimpse was just a glimpse, nothing more, nothing less. That wasn't enough to satisfy Bazett, and it certainly didn't satisfy Cú Chulainn. Having come all this way in search of a fight he honestly found himself...

...irritated.

Gae Bolg felt restless in his hand and the Servant twirled it absently as he circled the battle site.

"Aw, hell." he growled, grinding his boot against the dirt. "I really screwed up this time. Here I was looking for a fight and then this shit happens." No matter how hard he glowered at the scorched crater, no one appeared. Nor did anyone emerge from within its blackened depths. The sight only further stirred his fury. "Just where the hell did they go!? Was that a Noble Phantasm or something?! Aaargh!"

 _"Its no use, Lancer."_ Bazett's voice echoed through their link, her words tinged with quiet relief. _"Their battle could be taking place in another realm for all we know. Retreat for now. I want you by my side."_

"Oi, oi," despite himself, Lancher laughed. "Where's that coming from?"

 _"I don't know. I just have a bad feeling about this."_

"Fine," he sighed. "I'm on my way-

 _Shing!_

Whatever else he might've said vanished in a startled grunt as the kunai took him from behind.

 _'Shit! An enemy?! Where they hell were they hiding?!'_

Sheer instinct saved Lancer at the very last moment; even as the dagger found his back he twisted aside, ripping the dagger free and preventing it from penetrating anything vital. Gae Bolg sang in his hands, twirling a vicious crimson arc with its wielder to crash down upon the one who'd dared to stab him in the back while he was distracted. His spear met empty air. Instead a long sword flashed across his face, opening the merest of crimson lines along his right cheek before he could spin away. Damnit! Agony raced its way across his side when he twisted to defend against this new weapon. Much to Lancer's chagrin, his movements proved a hair slower than before.

Because of it, he nearly perished outright.

Too late, he realized that the the night blazed a brilliant blue.

Not in front of him as he'd expected, no he'd attacked the wrong position.

 _Behind._

Illuminated in the azure glow, a pair of harsh aqua orbs gazed out at him, framed by whiskered cheeks and a matted mop of blond hand. Orange and black sheathed in white and red, he crouched low to the ground, one hand held aloft, he cradled his attack in hand; that is, the source of the ethereal glow radiated from well within his upturned palm. Lancer squinted at it, even as he turned. Eh? What? It was...a ball? Ha! Under any other circumstance he might have laughed at such a sight. The steely gaze of his attacker dissuaded him. Like a tiger ready to pounce on its prey, there was something vicious about that deceptively blank gaze.

 _Feral._

Two could play that game.

"You'll regret sneaking up on me!"

"Rasengan." his attacker replied calmly.

Then he vanished.

 _'Fast!'_

The ground erupted in a blistering burst of speed, such that Lancer barely had the time to defend. Gae Bolg descended on the young man with a mournful howl yet his attacker didn't even deign to accept the blow, much less block it. He simply ducked beneath the wild and slammed the keening sphere of raw energy into Lancer's side. Pain didn't even begin to describe what came next. As though a miniature tornado had manifested deep in his chest, so too did the blast rip Cú Chulainn from his feet and fling him away in a twisting spiral. In the end an-unlucky?-tree saved him, arresting his momentum as his spine smashed against it.

Moreso his ribs than anything else.

 _"Lancer?!"_ Bazett's voice ripped through his mind in a startled gasp. _"J-Just hang on! I'm on my way!"_

Cú Chulainn couldn't bring himself to muster a reply; even if he had, he would've roared at her to stay away. At this rate, he'd have to use his Noble Phantasm.

Righting himself with a groan, the spearman fixed his foe with a dark glower.

"What the hell was that, oi? It freakin' hurt!"

The enemy Servant held their tongue.

"Fine, be that way then. My turn!"

With a grunt he kicked forward.

 _'This bastard...he's going for my wound right off the bat?!'_

They collided in a storm of swords, trading blow after blow with reckless abandon. When Lancer stuck high, the blond riposted low. A glancing impact knocked him off balance and the blue-eyed warrior spun a kick into his bad side, staggering him before cutting a vicious grey swathe with his sword. _There!_ Cú Chulainn took the blow on his shoulder and shunted it aside with a determined laugh, relishing the startled look in the blond's eye as he laid him wide open, complete and utter dismay overtaking his features as the Warrior of Luster barreled through his defense and drove the spear toward his chest-

"Your heart is mine!"

POOF.

-and found himself impaling a cloud of smoke.

"What the hell?! Where'd he go?!"

A flicker of movement was his only warning.

 _Another one?!_

Gae Bolg arced upward and parried the blade that sought his throat, forcing his attacker into a desperate deadlock. Now that his life wasn't in immediate peril, Lancer noticed something about his foe. Beyond the obvious fact that he was clearly facing _the_ _same opponent a second time_ he had a clear set of skills. Familiar skills...

"Tch!" he grunted. "Let me guess, Assassin?"

"No." Gold, slanted eyes met his. "Not Assassin. Caster."

Eh? Wait a minute. Hadn't those eyes been blue beforehand?

"What kind of Caster has Presence Concealment? And a sword?!"

"Unorthodox enemies call for unorthodox tactics." Came the robotic reply. "I will use my staff now."

And he did.

With a soft chime of music, a black ringed weapon manifested in his off hand and cracked Lancer across the head, sending black spots swimming before his vision. In that brief instant, his foe could have easily dealt him a mortal wound. Yet he didn't. Instead he allowed Cú Chulainn to recover and leap away to safety. Why? He could've finished him off there. Yet he had not. Misguided mercy? Scorn? Pride? Did he think him so weak that he wasn't worth finishing off? Endless thoughts bounded off the walls of his mind, and none of them were answered.

"What the hell, Caster?!" he shouted. "Where's your enthusiasm?!"

"We are copies." the blond replied, his stoic expression never wavering. "The Original left us here as guards. Our purpose is to defeat any enemy who attempts to interfere with his battle. Excess emotions are not necessary to complete our mission." As if to punctuate this very statement, it raised its staff and sword, arms cross in a distinctive x-shape formation. "Prepare yourself."

"A copy?! What kind of mage bullshit is that?! Give me the original, damnit!"

The doppleganger tilted its head to the right.

Finally, it displayed a sliver of emotion.

A thin, tiny frown appeared.

 _"Make me."_

Red eyes narrowed.

If there was one thing Lancer possessed, it was a warrior's pride. He couldn't change that any more than a man could live without oxygen. He would always see a brawl through to the end. He believed in a fair fight to the death and once battle began, he never disengaged unless forced to. Bazett could have easily compelled him with a Command Seal. She did not. For better or worse, she allowed him to see the fight to its conclusion. Good girl, that one. She knew what it meant to have pride.

This "copy" had just inadvertently trampled all over Lancer's.

"Fine." he hissed, taking a stance. "Be that way. Let's see how you handle _this!"_

Tongues of crimson crept up the shaft of his spear, curling around the length of his arm.

For a fleeting instant, he actually considered throwing it-no. He knew better than to take a risk like that again; too much could go wrong. The only way to be certain was to strike him head on. Reverse casualty or not, he wasn't willing to risk the bastard's insane luck winning out. Even if it was just a doppelganger, it had already proven it could hurt him. Perhaps even kill, given the opportunity. He wasn't willing to provide it with another opening. No. He'd nail that cocky little shit to the ground and _then_ he'd silence him!

"Oi, Caster! After all you said to me, you're not going to try to dodge this, are you?!"

The tiniest spark ignited in those golden orbs.

A hand rose, beckoning.

...come."

"Well said! **GAE BOLG!"**

With a snarl, the Hound of Luster _lunged._

For any who saw it, the attack could only be called death. There was no escaping it. From the moment it had been declared, Caster's demise was certain. There could be no hope of dodging it, no evasion; for even if there was, the _spear itself_ would reverse cause and effect to strike where its prey was most vulnerable. Your end was certain. Your heart was destined to be pierced from the moment of its conception. There was no defense he knew of that could possibly hold against this attack.

It could not stop.

Golden eyes bulged.

"Oh, so that's what it does-

To his credit, the copy didn't deign to dodge.

He accepted the strike wholeheartedly, grunting as the spear bore through his chest to pierce his heart. A wet crunch answered and the copy gagged, one hand flying to the spear now jutting through his body. He did not cry out. Though doubled over backwards, eyes bulging, gritting his teeth in silent agony, no sound was made.

In the same instant, he threw his sword.

Like an arrow loosed from a bow the katana shot forward on a silent breeze, streaking past the unerring arc that was Gae Bolg to shatter armor and pierce his right shoulder. How the hell was that possible?! Red-hot fire blazed through his arm, but pain was preferable to dying on the spot. That shot had been meant for _his_ heart. Somehow, his own abysmal luck had saved him. What were the odds?

"Ha!" he grunted, holding his mangled arm. "Missed me, bastard!"

A low, croaking laugh answered him.

"Oi, why are you laughing?!"

"Congratulations. You killed me. I am a clone, after all." Caster rasped, a thin line of blood leaking from his lips. "A bit more solid than most, true, but still just a copy. Still," he flashed a red smile at him. "Doesn't matter. I have failed in my mission. Even so...is it wrong that I feel some regret?" his smile turned quizzical, almost as if he were puzzled by his own act. "I couldn't kill you after all. The Original will be so...disappointed. Still...it was...kinda fun...I guess."

The offhand remark nearly took Cú Chulainn aback.

...well, damn. Now you're just making me feel shitty about this."

Another laugh followed, this one little more than than a rasping whisper.

"Just wait 'till you see the Reality Marble."

"Wait, what?!" Lancer bristled.

"See you...around."

In the end he needn't have bothered; because "Caster" chose that moment to go up in smoke. Literally. Flesh and blood vanished in a white haze, leaving nothing behind but the faintest breeze and a puddle of blood. The overwhelming aura of dread vanished, replaced by an eerie calm. And an odd sense of dissatisfaction on Lancer's part. He'd slain the enemy-though it had admittedly been a copy. Yes, he'd taken a few wounds in doing so but victory was his. That was all that mattered in the end, right?

So why did it feel as though he'd been the one to lose this bout?

Urk!

His body chose that moment to remind of those injuries.

With a vengeance.

"Nope," he decided at last, shaking his head. "Fuck it. I'm done for the night. Next time, Caster...

Still.

A Reality Marble?

 _That_ was where the Original had gone?

He almost pitied whoever was on the receiving end of that...

* * *

 _(...Presently...)_

* * *

Illyasviel von Einzbern considered herself a good magus.

No, strike that, she was an _excellent_ magus.

The absolute best!

She had trained her entire life for this very moment, spent the last two months preparing. Enduring hellish suffering towards this sole purpose. To summon Berserker. To compete-to win!-the Holy Grail War. To wreak her ultimate revenge on her so-called "brother" for stealing Kiritsugu away from her. A brilliant plan, revolutionary in its simplicity. If she perished afterward then so be it. She had a purpose. A goal. To ask for more would've been foolish. But to die...she didn't relish the thought. In fact, she was quite bitter about it, this frail body of hers, so slow to age, yet so quick to fall.

She'd never thought that she might actually _fail._

Berserker was the strongest; capable of overpowering everyone and everything through brute strength alone. And she'd had _two full months_ to acclimate to him. By rights, this war should have been hers. Only Saber or Lancer could hope to rival him in strength/speed and his Noble Phantasm God Hand all but assured he'd overwhelm even them given time. He couldn't be killed the same way twice. You'd have to utterly disintegrate him to destroy him. Few, if any Servants possessed such power.

Yes, this War belonged to her.

So why, why, _why_ was this upstart ruining everything?!

She'd expected to encounter a Tohsaka in the War. That much was a given.

In all honesty, she wouldn't be surprised to see the Edelfelts take part this time around.

She could see Berserker struggling against one of the warrior classes, against a Saber...perhaps.

But to a _Caster_ of all things?!

She'd expected a quick and flawless victory when she'd ambushed Rin; not a drawn out battle that threatened to involve or otherwise attract every Servant in the city! Because that was exactly what Naruto had done. He seemed to determined to make Berserker work for every inch and expend as much prana as he possibly could. Already he'd taken two lives from her Servant on his own without his Master's intervention. He'd even taken a hit from him and was still going! What kind of Battle Continuation was that?! She could _see_ him bleeding! Troubling as that was, Illya refused to admit defeat.

So what if he'd lost two?

He still had ten!

In any case, none of this made sense!

The Caster class was supposed to be squishy!

A glass cannon!

Not someone capable of going toe to toe with _Hercules!_

Then, to add insult to injury Tohsaka's servant-who thought she was a child!-had the gall to ask her to leave! To think her little more than a mere slip of a girl?!

The gall!

How _dare_ he?!

"Stupid Caster!" she snarled, frantically trying to conceal her fear behind a veil of anger. "You can't kill him!"

"Is that so, little miss?" Caster's voice emerged as a low snarl, the blond's words cutting through her bravado like a hot knife against butter. "Oi. Berserker. Your master said you were invincible, right? That you can't die, _right?_ Good...

Raising a hand, he began channeling chakra to his palm.

Slowly, inexorably, a keening shriek arose.

 **...you'll be my punching bag!"**

Before she could order Berserker to end finish him off, a column of golden light had erupted from the body of Tohsaka's Servant. Eh? What was this? A Noble Phantasm? A spell? Something else entirely? Whatever it was, it gave Beserker pause, his assault stalling as the holy light all but sundered the sky. No, it seemed to envelop the world itself, swallowing up the park. And beyond. Like a great gold dome reaching out to encompass the entirety of the world, a boundless desire to see everything united in one, singular purpose. Blinding in its intensity, even Illya found herself forced to look away, lest she be blinded.

A lone leaf flickered across the homonculus's face.

"Illyasveil von Einzbern!" When next Naruto's voice echoed, it was legion, nearly indistinguishable from the rest. No, not only his voice but countless others, as if...oh, gods. But he was speaking again, and the thought all but eeled out of her grasp. Too late, she realized what was about to happen. "Welcome to my world! Take a good long look; because its the last thing you'll ever see. Welcome to _Konoha!"_

Illya didn't want to give him the satisfaction of looking, but her body betrayed her.

...incredible."

The word escaped her before she could think to hold it back; by then it was too late.

A grand village stood before her, watched over by Five Faces Set in Stone.

Rather, she stood _within_ the village proper itself.

Below their eternal gaze, a veritable army lay in wait. Every rooftop bore a person, nay, sometimes several. So many. They choked the alleyways. They perched upon the walls like vultures, armed with every weapon and death-dealing tool imaginable. They stood guard at the gate. Some wore matching and identical garb. Uniforms, perhaps. Others could've been strangers by the way they held themselves. Old and young, men and women and children alike. More than Illyasviel could ever hope to count. There were dozens of them-perhaps hundreds. Regardless, they all held one thing in common.

They'd completely surrounded Illyasviel and her servant.

Naruto spread his arms wide.

"Now, then! Illya-chan! Welcome to my reality!"

His reality indeed!

 _He had a freaking Reality Marble!_

"Behold my comrades!" the blond declared, brandishing his staff like a heavy-handed club. "Though they have fallen long ago on the field of battle, they too are Heroic Spirits and still live fondly in my heart! Here! They all answer my call in this world! We are one! We are legion! You say your Berserker can't die? Well, let's put that to the test, shall we?! The two of us will be all he needs!"

Two?

What did he mean by that?

Illyasviel found herself taking a reluctant step backward in the face of those overwhelming numbers.

"Idiot! That's not fair! Not fair! Not fair at all!"

Caster's grin reminded her of a smirking saint; benevolent, yet ready and willing to drive her headfirst into the ground.

"Ninja don't play fair, Illya! Now...

"No, don't-

Grinning, Naruto hoisted his staff high.

"ADVANCE!"

As one, the army turned towards her. There were scores of them; though many shared the same uniform, no two faces were alike.

Unbidden, a new voice called out.

"Hold!"

At the forefront stood a young man not unlike Naruto, in that he chose to stand ahead of the rest. He favored a strange oriental outfit with a purple cord wrapped tight around his waist. Raven hair framed a face even paler than hers, from which eyes of mismatching violet and onyx shone. Unlike the others, this one seemed to possess more than a sliver of power; he looked well and truly aware of the threat Berserker posed. More than most, in fact. Perhaps that was why he'd chosen to taken a watchful position over the Tohsaka girl, covering her as she lay on her knees in disbelief. Tch! Clever of Caster, having someone protect his master like that.

"Naruto," as she looked on, the stranger turned to face Caster himself, "What's the meaning of this?"

"C'mon, don't be like that, Sasuke!" the blond laughed, shrugging. "I don't really understand this Servant business myself, let alone the whole Noble Phantasm thing. I just know how to use 'em. Thank the Throne for that. I could've used clones, but it just didn't feel right, ya know? Still, if everybody's here, they're probably in the same situation as us."

A Noble Phantasm that even _he_ didn't understand? Just what sorcery was this?!

"And Kaguya...?"

"Killed her dead." Naruto's smile took on a mournful shadow. "Had to die to do it, though."

...that's good. Still, was plundering my corpse _absolutely_ necessary?"

"Considering you died and I was forced to fight that crazy woman by myself?" the whiskered warrior retorted waspishly. "Sorry, not sorry. Besides, it didn't work out. Hell, I didn't get Shinra Tensei until Rin-

 _ **"WAAAARGH!"**_

Illya balked as Berserker inexplicably surged forward.

"Weh?! Berserker! What are you doing?! I didn't order you to-

Too late, the wind of his passing kicking up a cloud of dirt, and she found her words swallowed up in the gale.

Perhaps it was anger on Berserker's part that spurred him to act. Or maybe impatience. It might've been boredom. Mayhaps he'd simply grown weary of being ignored for so long. In this form he was incapable of rational thought unless it was given back to him by his master; as it stood now, the hulking brute that was Hercules possessed only peerless instinct. At this moment, those instincts were screaming at him. Telling him he needed to take action before it was too late. Immediately. He saw the army before him and while he did not feel fear, no, never _fear_ , but he did acknowledge these two as a threat. If the rest were anything like _them_ then they'd be more than threat to Illya. They would be her end.

Threats to Illya must not exist.

This one...Caster...needed to be eliminated!

It was a basic plan, brutal in its simplicity. Kill the Master.

Without her, the Servant perished and was no longer a threat.

Unfortunately, there was a fatal flaw with that line of savage thinking.

Two pairs of eyes, one amber, the other crimson, rounded on the raging behemoth.

 _"Get lost/Beat it!"_

Twin fists clad in gold and violet rocked into his chin from below, physically lifting Hercules from his feet. Agony burned the world white for a fleeting instant as he hung there, stunned. Momentarily dumbstruck by the raw power behind double blow he reeled backward, slamming hard into the ground. The sheer force of the combined punch sent him tumbling across the Reality Marble, crashing past his Master, through the barred gates, and onto the so-called "road" that lay beyond.

Illya darted after him, painfully aware of her vulnerability.

Rin actually gasped.

"Did you seriously just...?"

"Punch him?" Naruto laughed. "Pretty much-oh, here he comes!"

 **"Aaaaargh!"**

Undaunted, Berserker leaped at them again.

The being known as Sasuke turned his gaze upon him.

"Tch. Persistent, aren't you? Stay down."

Inexplicably, the air boiled.

 _"Amaterasu!"_

A towering wall of black flame manifested itself before Berserker in mid-leap. Unable to change his trajectory, the Servant crashed headlong through it with an agonized scream. God Hand kept him going even as he lost a life, then another, and another still. Three lives. Gone in an instant. Despite the startling depletion of his accumulated lives, Battle Continuation spurred him onward. Though his skin blistered and burnt beneath the vicious and inextinguishable inferno, Berserker did not falter. Not enough, his mind raged! This wasn't anywhere near enough to keep him down! Howling, he surged forward...

...into hell itself.

His first realization that he'd erred came in the form of the wind.

"Oi, ugly! CATCH!"

A terrible keening shriek rose all around him, filling his ears, blotting out all thought. In disbelief he looked down, just in time to see a rotating sphere vaguely shaped like a shuriken rapidly approach him. Pointless! With a grunt, he swung his sword down against the encroaching sphere with the intent of smashing it to smithereens-

Mistake.

 _"Rasenshuriken!"_

The technique expanded violently the moment his blade made contact with it, ripping the weapon from his hand. Then came true pain. Agony like no other, as a thousand tiny needles shredded his God Hand to sunder the vulnerable flesh beneath. This wasn't something Berserker could fight against; for all his might he was powerless against it. He could only rage. Only scream. Until even that was swallowed up by the wind. Still the attacks came, ripping him apart even as his Noble Phantasm worked feverishly to restore him.

Five lives.

He'd lost five lives to that attack alone.

He needed to recover, to stand up, to protect-

 _"Berserker!"_

Illya's scream came too late.

"KIRIN!"

A bolt of lighting descended from on high before he could make it to a knee. No, not lightning. This was something more. Far more. It defied his attempts to stand and scorched him to the bone; cooked his very intestines from the insides out in a blast of pure spite. Like heaven's wrath incarnate come to deliver divine justice upon him. Still, he tried to stand. God Hand was reaching its limits now, his once imposing stock of lives had shrunk to dangerous levels. Another attack of that caliber would end him, as surely as Zeus himself. In that moment, his savage strength finally abandoned him

One life.

Illya felt herself herself tremble at the sight.

Berserker...he was struggling.

He couldn't get up.

In the span of only a few minutes, Berserker's stock had shrunk from twelve-to-ten, then one. This reality marble was too much. She needed to retreat. Given a few days she could regenerate his stock of lost lives, but if this continued not only he but _she_ really was going to-

"Its over."

 _-die._

Caster's staff forced itself up beneath her chin even as she tried to turn.

When had he...how had he...?!

This time he wasn't alone. Not by any means. A semicircle of warriors surrounded the young mage, trapping her in a cage of weapons and steel. Denying her all avenues of escape. There was no mercy to be found in their gaze, no hesitation on their part. No restraint. Each saw her as an enemy. Something to be eliminated. Destroyed. There would be no quarter here, none asked, nor given. Was this what death felt like? No. No, Illya didn't want to die, not here, not like this. She wanted to live. Only now, in her last moments, did she realize this. _Berserker...Mama...Kiritsugu...somebody...anybody! Help me! Save me! Please! I'll do anything!_

"You have a choice, Illyasviel von Einzbern." Caster informed her primly. "I suggest you wisely."

His words seemed to finally reactivate Rin, who frantically hurried back unto his side.

"Caster, what are you doing?!" she argued, "Hurry up and, finish her off before-

 **"I WILL NOT!"** The blond bellowed at his Master. "She's just a child, Rin!"

 _'I'm really not!'_ Illya wanted to say, but she held her tongue.

"Y-You can't be serious?! She's the enemy!"

"That's her decision to make. Not mine."

Illya dared meet his gaze.

"A choice...?"

The ninja nodded slowly.

"You can ally with us...or die here and now."

The words seemed to flip a switch somewhere in her mind.

A twitch, and the staff beneath her chin sharpened into a point.

 _"Now, choose."_

Her response would change the very face of the Holy Grail War.

 **A/N: Yes, I just did that!**

 **Clarifying!**

 **Naruto took TWO lives last chapter.**

 **Sasuke took three.**

 **Naruto's Rasenshuriken stole SIX.**

 **Leaving Berserker with one life at the moment.**

 **More good stuff next chapter!**

 **On another note, there will be alliances in this story of course. Expect the unexpected! I aim to take this story down a different route than most, but the question is which? Hmm. We'll bump into ol' Shirou next chapter, and there'll be a clash of ideologies between him and Naruto for obvious reasons. As well as a few more surprises. I feel I should also state that Shirou DOES summon Saber by this point, albeit offscreen.**

 **I won't name the other Servants, ah, for the night is dark and full of spoilers...**

 **Expect chaos and incredible battles to ensue!**

 **So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review, Would You Kindly?**

 **And enjoy the up-and-coming previews!**

 **They're rough atm, so don't think too much of them~!**

 **(Previews)**

 _"Tch! What can you possibly do with that wound-_

 ** _"Enough."_**

 _A voice spoke into the mist._

 _ **"I am...the shadow of fire."**_

 _No._

 _A bitter chill ran down Shinji's spine._

 _No, no, no! He knew what was coming!_

 _He had to get away! Rider, where was Rider?!_

 _Caster's low growl seemed to resonate from everywhere at once, the snarl of a man who'd lost everything._

 _ **"Pain is my body."** he ground out, the syllables warping, twisted as the new world swam into focus. **"Chakra is my blood."** The world shimmered around them, the four walls of the house falling away as the ground took on an ugly, brackish hue. **"I have sacrificed a thousand friends."** As Matou looked on in disbelief, the ground turned to lava beneath his feet, sending him shrieking away. **"Despised by life. Cursed by death. Have walked many paths to save others. Yet these hands cannot create. Only destroy."**_

 _"No, no, no! Stop! ST-_

 ** _"So I declare!"_**

 _The world that was revealed could only be described as hell._

 ** _"SIX PATHS!"_**

 ** _R &R~! _**

**_=D_**


	4. An Unsightly Servant

**A/N:** **Disclaimer: I own NOTHING related to BlazingAzureCrow. They're a massive inspiration!**

 **No, to the one user who asked, this story is not a parody. Not my Grail is, however.**

 **Is it so wrong for this story to have a few moments of levity?**

 **AND BLOODY HELL THAT PREVIEW CHANT WAS A JOKE!**

 **It wasn't meant to be taken seriously!**

 **I've already said that Naruto has more than one Reality Marble; the second being one of pure hell; in other words, the torment he endured facing Kaguya for all those years alone. I didn't realize the chant would ruffle so many feathers.**

 **There.**

 **Its gone now.**

 **For crying out loud...**

 **Now, onto all your questions!**

 **Q: What route are we following here?**

 **A: SHHH! 'Tis a secret!**

 **Q: I expect Naruto's riding high after that little victory, no?**

 **A: This chapter is predominately told from his perspective, so yes. Now, he may be the master on the field of battle, but he certainly isn't the master when it comes to women. Not that he's whipped by any measure...he just doesn't know how to handle them. He simply isn't as experienced in th**

 **Q: Just what is Gilgamesh up to? Forgive the pun, but I have a bad feeling about this...**

 **A: I'm not going to rush it. If you think THIS version of Naruto can stomp Gilgamesh, you'd be surprised. He has a hard counter to a number of Naruto's tricks, but in the same vein, Naruto's got more than a few of his own tricks, not to mention numbers if he gets down to it. Numbers that can be countered by the Gate of Babylon and Enkidu. But would his techniques? Given that, should any battle occur between these two...well, I think only one would walk away from it.**

 **Q: So if Lancer hit the REAL Naruto with Gae Bolg, would he die?**

 **A: Perhaps. We all know how stubborn he can be, and toss in his healing factor...but then, there's the matter of Lancer's curse...**

 **Q: Please tell me you didn't kill Illya?!**

 **A: This chapter answers that question.**

 **Ah, but I have plans for her!**

 **Q: That laugh...oh god. Was Archer summoned by Luvia?!**

 **A: In a word? Yes. Expect her and Rin to clash and clash hard.**

 **Q: Can characters from the other Fate series show up in this? For example, Mashu, Frankenstein, and the like?**

 **A: Kind of a slippery slope there. Theoretically it should be possible for Naruto summon a faux servant as he's Caster Class, but that would entail getting ahold of the Greater Grail as well as having access to one of the major ley lines in Fuyuki. I'll have to see what others think. Let me know in your reviews!**

 **Q: Why is Naruto so cross with Shirou in your preview? If anything, I thought they'd get along?**

 **A: Maybe canon Naruto would agree with Shirou's mindset. Our Naruto? This one's seen some shit. THIS Shirou hasn't. Yet. He only has his ideals, while Naruto had to sacrifice his ideals, his friends, alongside his LIFE just to win in his time. Hence their intense clash of ideologies. If one of them isn't careful, they might just come to blows. If anything, I dare say that "Caster" and "Archer" would get along. I'm not saying Naruto would step aside for EMIYA and let him kill Shirou, but he understands why the latter wants Shirou dead so badly.**

 **Additionally, we get to see Shirou summon Saber...**

 **...or rather, a Saber.**

 **Call it a happy accident.**

 **Did ya really expect me to follow canon?**

 **Remember, this story is more serious than my other works. There are consequences for every move. For every action, an equal and opposite reaction. There will be pain. There will be sorrow. People will die. But there will also be joy, moments of levity, and so on. If you want something silly and funny as well as drama free, try "Not My Grail."**

 **There, that being said...**

 **Now...**

 **...onto the next chapter of A Ninja's War!**

 **Bunch of NarutoxRin moments coming up real soon!**

 **AnAs well as a surprise I've been planning for quite some time.**

 **After all, if Naruto's the Caster class, the least I can do is have some fun with it.**

 **And if said fun just so-happens to entertain you guys and gals...well, who am I to refuse?**

 **Mind you, this chapter starts out light but dear lord does it change quickly...**

 **So to those who wanted to see Shirou...**

 **YOU'RE BLOODY GETTING HIM!**

 **...and someone else.**

 _"What is a king without their people?"_

 _"Fine, you got me. What?"_

 _"A tryant."_

 _~?_

 **An Unsightly Servant**

 _Shirou Emiya had just summoned death._

Through a series of events that even now he didn't completely understand, he'd stumbled upon it; travesty through sheer happenstance. _A_ _magic circle_ in his shed. Of course it had always been there; carved into the floor during the last grail war. Shirou of course, had no way of knowing any of this when he uncovered it. And he _had_ found it. Not through any sense of danger or risk on his part but mere chance. Blind bloody luck had brought him here while he was cleaning. Ludicrous as might sound, this was indeed the case. In another reality his flight from Lancer would have inevitably drawn him here, to his destiny. But not in this one. Neither plight nor peril had brought him to this moment, and they _certainly_ hadn't bestowed the strange marks now etched onto the back of his hand. He had no way of knowing what he'd just been dragged into.

In this world, the Grail had been altered.

Changed, by the summoning of a new Caster.

A slight variation in what should have been the same story.

A constant in many worlds, this time however, something changed.

Be it a whim from the Throne of Heroes or the will of the as-of-yet unborn Angra Mainyu, Saber did indeed respond to his accidental summons. With the catalyst of Avalon bound within his chest, she had no choice. Shirou couldn't summon another Servant if he'd tried. The King of Knights was an immutable pillar that would always be present in every scenario. And today she heeded his call, in all her mighty glory. It was not the Saber one might have expected.

What was once pure was twisted.

Noble ideals were trampled.

Hope withered.

"Ack!"

Could light be black?

 _She_ arrived in a flare of what could only be called such; indeed, the raw force behind her sudden arrival hurled Shirou from the shed as though he weighed no more than a doll. He crashed to the ground with a grunt, only narrowly managing to shield his face as his body skidded wildly across the ground. Ears ringing, skin tingling from the blast, he was only distantly aware of the aftermath. His back crashed against a fence, his body curled reflexively inward against the impact before the rest of his senses finally reasserted themselves

"Ouch, what the hell...?"

 _Clank._

She emerged.

A warrior beyond compare.

Stepped from darkness, into the light.

Pale of face with haunting golden eyes, with hair the color of straw. A maiden clad in darkness, bearing a corrupted sword at her side. Nebulous streamers of shadows clung to the blade, obscuring its true identity from the eyes of those who would pry. With her came heavy armor forged from midnight itself, dark as pitch and thrice as somber. She was, in a word, made for war. Still, something about her felt...wrong. Twisted. Corrupted. The very air itself seemed to shudder around her, not quite in fear, but with sorrow...

This woman was darkness incarnate.

And she was looking at him.

She was not pleased.

"You." a bitter laugh escaped her, followed by the strangely flat yet musical voice-her voice!-plucking at his ears. A note of despair entered her words, pitching them towards despair. "Of course it would be _you._ Why have the fae seen fit to curse me so? Have I not suffered enough?"

 _"Eh?"_ Shirou managed eloquently.

The woman tensed.

Those eerie gold eyes blazed and for a moment, he wondered if she would attack him.

...no, its nothing." After a moment tyrant sighed wearily, shaking her head. "Clearly, I have responded to your summons."

Shirou wondered about that. Truly, he did. It didn't help that he had absolute _no idea_ what was going on here.

"Oi, wait a second! Look, whoever you are, I'm really not sure what this is all about-

"Enough!" the blond snarled at him. "I grow tired of this meaningless drivel."

With a grunt, she planted her tainted blade in the soil between them.

"Servant Saber." she declared. "Point me at the enemy, Master."

Golden orbs narrowed to stern slits of wrath.

 _"I will destroy them."_

* * *

 _(...Leagues Away in the Einzbern Castle...)_

* * *

 _"More tea, Naruto-Onii-chan?"_

Caster stifled a small sigh in the back of his throat and narrowly resisted the urge to bring a Rasenshuriken down upon the one who'd just called him that. _Naruto-Onii-chan?!_ Just what kind of fantasy was she concocting, oi?! A younger incarnation would've protested immediately upon being called such a thing. He'd been called all manner of names and titles when he walked among the living: hero, demon, friend, monster, partner, _lover_ even towards the end of his life, but...Onii-chan? He honestly couldn't recall ever hearing _that_ one before. If so, he'd forgotten. The closest he'd come to that was when a-then young Kononhamaru calling him Naruto-nii. That was something entirely different. No, it didn't bother him.

It didn't bother him.

It didn't bother him at all.

It didn't bo-IT BOTHERED HIM A LOT!

"You're up to something aren't you, Illya." he deadpanned.

Somehow, the homunculus projected a peaceful aura as she reclined in her chair. Naruto was vaguely reminded of a queen _-no, not a queen for Rin's unique brand of haughtiness firmly claimed that title-_ rather, a princess regarding him from her gilded throne. A dainty hand raised her own teacup to her lips, from whence she took the faintest of sips. Setting the saucer down with infinite gentleness, the strange-not-child favored him with a small smile. She'd worn that very same smile when she'd requested this audience with them.

In her own mansion, no less!

"Hmm? Why, whatever do you mean, Onii-chan?"

Despite Naruto's utmost efforts, his right eye twitched.

"See?" Frowning, he thrust a finger at her. _"That._ Why the hell are you doing that?"

"Me?" Illya tilted her head. "I'm not doing anything, Onii-chan."

"Yes, yes you are." Retracting his arm, the blond glowered at his ally. "You're doing it right now."

"Am I?"

Fine.

She wanted to play coy?

Best to get this out of the way, then.

Closing his eyes, Caster flipped his switch.

His features settling into a blank mask, the blond pushed down against the table and stood. Towered over her. It was almost painfully easy to shut everything off. To turn cruel. He channeled the faintest amount of energy to his eyes, revealing their true nature. Then he ceased masking his chakra signature. It wasn't an overt change, you'd have to possess a modicum of sensing capabilities to even remotely understand what just transpired. Rin certainly did, judging by the slight widening of her eyes. To her, his once warm prana likely felt as though it had plunged into arctic water. In a word? Cold. Perhaps Illya recognized the change; because her own smile faded to a mere sliver. Ah. Was she afraid? Good. This was the monster who'd torn down the White Zetsu army, the creature who'd dragged Kaguya to the underworld kicking and screaming.

It was the face of a young man who'd thrown everything away to win.

His bonds.

His companions.

Even his own life.

"I'm not your brother, Illya." the words were sharper than any blade, meant to cut through her deceit like a hot knife to butter. "I only spared ya' to win this war."

Illya flinched.

He expected anger.

Disbelief at the very least.

Irritation, at having her ruse torn down.

Illyasviel von Einzbern was full of surprises.

"B-But that would make me so _sad,_ Onii-chan...

 _Urk._

Naruto's heart bucked in his chest.

 _'I just took critical damage!'_

Innocent red red eyes brimmed with tears, regarding him without so much as a sliver of deceit. She was sorrow personified. No, more than that. This was the face of a child-despite not being a child-who'd reached out for comfort, only to be backhanded by his reply. He may as well have struck her face. That would have stung less. Her words held no magic. Not a drop of prana. Yet somehow _-somehow!-_ she unmanned him with a single look. In that moment it didn't matter how powerful he'd become; nor how he hardened his soul. Old habits were still hard to shake. He was forced to admit his defeat on this matter. She'd bested him, without raising a hand or declaring a single command.

His body sat back down without thinking.

Damn.

He just couldn't do it.

He couldn't be cruel to her.

"Yikes." he managed, slumping in his seat. "You could win the Holy Grail War with that look...

"Huh?" Illya blinked, dabbing tears from her eyes with a sleeve. "What look?"

Did she really not understand what she'd just done?!

 _Staaaaaaaaare._

Oh, dear.

He didn't have to look to know his Master was glaring.

 _No, Naruto's_ mind railed. _No, that's not it at all, Rin. She's dangerous. This one is dangerous!_

In every sense of the bloody word!

Especially that smile!

It was too good!

Too pure!

It was a child's smile, hopeful, yet infinitely miserable all the same. Utterly devoid of any ill intentions towards them. Caster's deep-rooted instincts howled otherwise. Lies! Trickery! Only a fool would trust that smile! No way in hell! Suspicious! Very suspicious! He'd seen that same look many a time on many a woman long before he'd ever encountered the wee slip of a girl known as Illyasviel von Einzbern, and he knew that damn smile promised mischief or madness. Likely both. Given her untenable position in this little arrangement of theirs, Naruto suspected the former. Even if she was an ally. Regardless, he'd lost this bout.

By the log, he was determined to win the next one!

"What are you, a lolicon?" Rin deadpanned, reminding him of his own imminent peril. "Caster, I'm disappointed in you. Why did I have to summon such an unsightly Servant...

Naruto bristled.

"Don't give me that look, Rin." he sighed, palming his forehead. "You know you're the only girl for me. 'Till death do us part, remember?"

In hindsight, perhaps he'd been a tad too free with his choice of words there.

Somewhere in the back of Rin's brilliant mind, something clicked.

The noise that emerged could scarcely be called a squeak.

 _"Ha?"_

The Tohsaka heiress had never given his oath much thought until now, but yes...now that she thought about it, Caster had mentioned the latter when he'd sworn his services to her. Wait. Aqua orbs widened to the size of dinner plates. "Til death do us part?" What had he meant by that?! On paper his words made perfect sense as an oath of allegiance, but in her panic, her mind leaped to the most outrageous conclusion as was often its wont. J-J-J-Just what kind of proposal was that anyway!? They barely even knew one another! Of course, Caster was dashing in his own bumbling way and he'd already saved her life three times at the risk of his own and _oh dear god..._

Naruto, for his part was more than content to watch the blackette squirm.

Even if that hadn't been his initial intention.

Hmm.

Blushing was a good look for her _-chair?!_

Caster nimbly ducked just as Rin's seat sailed toward him at blistering speeds. Instinct compelled him to move more than anything else, not for fear of losing his head. He did not, after all, enjoy having furniture thrown at him. Deprived of its target, the piece of furniture rocketed through a window instead blasting a hole in the reinforced glass before careening to the grass below. Distantly, Naruto heard Illya mutter something about people putting holes in her house but he paid it little heed. His attention was decidedly elsewhere. Rather, he was focused on the embarrassed magus before him.

"W-W-W-Where did that line come from, Caster?!"

"For crying out loud it was a _compliment_ , Rin-chan! Why ya throwin' things?!"

The string of syllables that followed could barely be called Japanese.

 _"Stupididiotnarutoshutupihateyou!'_

From his constant vigil near the entrance to the foyer, Berserker made a noise eerily similar to laughter.

Naruto groaned. Why did it feel like the whole world was against him these days? Blasted girls!

...ugh, both of you! I give up. Someone fill this damn thing already. I'm parched."

Reluctantly, he offered his teacup.

Impossibly, Illya brightened.

"Right away. Stella!"

"Yes, mistress."

One of Illya's two maids made herself known then, quietly intruding past a fuming Rin with a teapot. This one was...hmm. Leysritt? No, that was the one with shorter hair and larger...assets. This one...hmm. He couldn't remember. Something starting with an S, if he recalled correctly. Sarah? Sapphire? Sel? No. Ah! Sella. Yes, that was it. Slim of stature with the same striking ruby eyes of her mistress, her hair was white as snow, of such length that she nearly whipped him in the face with it when she poured his tea. He suspected that was deliberate on her part. She would've been pretty, if she wasn't so intent on scowling at Rin-no, she was definitely glaring at _him._

Ah.

He'd almost forgotten.

So this was what _hate_ felt like.

For a moment there, he honestly a prank.

Disrespect he could tolerate, but to treat Rin poorly?

Inexcusable.

T'was a strange thing indeed, to come into the lair of an enemy only to be waited on hand and foot by said enemy's maids.

Morseo when said maids wanted you dead.

Then that very maid went and pressed the wrong button.

"Be grateful, swine." Sella hissed in his ear as he drank. _"I'd_ rather serve you swill."

Rin nearly slung a Gandr at her on the spot.

"Why, you-

Naruto's reaction beat her to it by a mile.

"PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!" Feigning surprise, Caster turned his head and spat the contents of his cup in Stella's direction. The maid yelped in disbelief as she suddenly found herself doused from head to toe in the semi-sweet liquid, leaving her outfit soaked through and through. Her outfit rendered nearly transparent by the unexpected deluge, she frantically attempted to cover herself with her hands, which only made things worse. Naruto saw the mounting anger in her eyes and tried to restrain a snicker of his own. He failed horribly. Well. Stella was certainly going to murder him for this. Or try to.

"I'm so sorry." he offered a decidedly false smile. "Had to sneeze."

The slow reddening of Stella's face was a sight to behold.

"I...you...you...!"

"Ara, why are you so flustered?"

 _"Tohsaka Rin!"_

Rin watched-with no small amount of amusement-as a fierce flush inexorably crept up the albino's pale neck and stole across her once stern visage. Within moments her face was red as a rose, nearly the same shad of her own ruby-red eyes. Her expression was just icing on the cake. The once-unflinchable maiden stood in complete disarray, her head swiveling back and forth as she panicked like a small child, unable to decide who to lay the blame on. Caster for his blatant defiance? Or Rin, for her laughter. Illya for her part, seemed content to let this small drama unfold, though she too wore a slight flush of her own.

Inevitably, poor Stella finally made her decision.

"You...you perverted _brute!_ I'll kill you!"

"I'd like to see you try _-ack?!"_

For all his foresight Naruto wasn't expecting the mad maid to actually _pounce_ on him.

To her credit, neither did Rin.

 _"Deathtowsine!"_

With that garbled sentence and a bloodcurdling shriek Stella slammed into Caster, sending the two of them tumbling to the floor. Straddling him, the homunculus wrapped both hands around his throat and squeezed with all her might. Throughout it all, Naruto didn't bat an eyelash. It would've been terrifying...if he wasn't so far beyond her ken. In another life, her fury would've been terrifying. As a mortal, he would've had the life choked out of him before he could hope to muster even the faintest resistance. Now? As it stood, Stella would have had better luck strangling a log. Still, as entertaining as her fury might be, this was an exceedingly awkward position and he really should do something about it-

In the end, he needn't have bothered.

"Sella," Illya chastised the older woman with a hint of steel shining through her smile, "That is no way to treat our guests. Get off him and apologize."

Her guardian jerked back, aghast.

"But my lady-

 _"Apologize."_

The elder maid nearly balked at the command, but complied with a bow regardless.

...as you command, mistress." she demurred. "My...apologies. Excuse me."

Naruto grinned. "Ah, no worries. You're forgiven."

"I'll kill him," she growled, stomping off. "I'll kill him, I'll kill him, I swear by all the gods above and below I am going to kill him...

Caster stifled another sigh.

Life was a strange thing, indeed.

He'd been the one to form this alliance, after all.

He just hadn't expected the Einzbern to take to it so...aptly.

Much less the "Onii-chan" bit.

Still, if Illya _truly_ wanted to poison him or somesuch, she was going to be sorely disappointed. His Immunity skill rendered even the most potent toxins moot. If she sought to subvert his allegiance-and she might well be!-she'd be in for another shock. He'd already sworn his staff and sword to Rin for the duration of this war. Not only that, but his life. He had given Tohsaka his word. His Nindo. His oath. He would be her Servant until death or victory parted them. It wasn't a whim, rather a fact. He could no longer change his mind even if he wanted to. Which he didn't. It was a power that transcended even that of the Command Spells; even if some spell shattered his mind and his sanity were lost, his body would never betray Rin.

If there was only one certainty to be had in this brave new world, it was this.

Every choice had a consequence.

Every action, an equal and opposite reaction.

If you saved someone, you allowed someone else to die. Conversely, saving that one life might spare countless others. The opposite was also true. You couldn't save everyone. To believe so was sheer folly. He'd made the mistake firsthand; slinging about the grandiose claim that he wouldn't let any of his friends die during the war. Then came Neji. And the others. Sasuke. Kakashi-sensei. Sakura. One by one they fell, until no one remained by his side. Did he regret his actions? Certainly. But undo them? No. Never. For all he'd suffered, he knew he could never bring himself to change the way he'd lived his life. He just wanted to make things right. This war-this wish-was his one and only chance to redeem himself; to go back to that horrible moment where it all went wrong Would he be able to save everyone? Certainly not. But could he save _most_ of them?

Naruto didn't know.

There was no way _of_ knowing.

You just had to accept reality and move on.

In a sense Caster also realized that he'd been saved as well; he understood on a fundamental level that this body-a form that shouldn't exist-wasn't his own. His physical state was sustained by Rin's Prana, nothing more. Yet he retained full access to his techniques and a few new ones he'd thought up besides. By all rights he should be relieved. He'd received a reprieve from death, a stay on his sentence when he'd been plucked out of that inky blackness. He would kill her enemies for her, and he would have his wish. But a child...rather, someone in the form of a child? No. He couldn't. Even after all he'd done, after what he'd become, a slim vestige of humanity held him back.

Which brought him to his present predicament.

 _This._

In sparing Illya's life, he'd forced their hand.

He'd be working with others again?

Could he bring himself to do it?

To risk losing comrades?

Would he?

"Now that we've gotten that out of the way," Rin began, claiming herself a secondary seat across the table, "Shall we commence our strategy meeting?"

Right, that _was_ why they were here in the first place, wasn't it?

"As you wish." Illya inclined her head in a demure nod. Then she clapped her hands. "Berserker!"

The earth rattled mightily as her Servant simply walked towards and _through_ the nearest wall to join them.

Much to the Einzbern's consternation.

"Berserker! _The door!_ Use the door next time!"

 **...!"** the giant grunted in wordless apology.

"Fine, fine, just don't do it again...

"Why is he here?" Rin posited.

"Berserker goes everywhere I go." the homunculi informed them sweetly, preening. "Is that a problem?"

Naruto recognized the unspoken jab a mile away even as Rin scooted closer to him; positioning herself _just so_ in case of an attack. Hmm. Seemed there was still some bad blood between beauty and the beast. Not that he blamed her. Berserker had nearly cut Rin down during their duel in the park, and certainly would have if not for his timely intervention. Hell, that massive hunk of sharpened stone would cleave even _him_ in half if its owner ever managed to land a solid hit. If the information he'd gleaned from the Throne of Heroes spoke true, then this was _Heracles_ himself. Not someone to be trifled with.

Of course she'd be uncomfortable around him.

"But he's a _Berserker."_ Rin was pointing out with a touch of exasperation as he came back to himself. "Can he even _understand_ us while under Mad Enhancement?"

"He understands more than you think." Illya reassured her. "You have nothing to worry about. Unless you're afraid?"

A dark cloud settled over Tohsaka's head.

"Why you little?! I should've had Caster cut your thr-

CRUNCH!

The sharpened edge of Naruto's staff slammed into the floor with monstrous force, physically splitting the stone in twine. The act caused both girls to jump in their respective seats. Having finally regained their attention, the sarcastic Servant rose from his seat and claimed another, this one firmly between the two of them. Another tap of his staff followed, repairing the wound he'd left in the pavement. In a single impossible movement he reached around the table to pick up Illya, chair and all, and place her next to Rin.

Only then did his ice blue eyes turn to them.

"That's enough, the both of you." he growled. "We're allies, remember, Rin? Act like it. And Illya, threats are unbecoming of you."

Illya's expression turned sheepish.

"Sorry, Onii-chan...

"Well, so long as you understand...

"Good, good." nodding, he banished his weapon and crossed both arms before his chest. "Now, lets continue. What kind of defenses do we have? Who is our first target? Do we know the identities of our enemies?" Putting the matter of strategy aside, he'd the strangest feeling that Berserker that if he hadn't intervened, Berserker would have done something. He couldn't explain why.

Heracles.

Was that man truly a mindless brute?

Naruto chose to hold his tongue in that aspect.

Without his Reality Marble or any of his tricks, he would've been ground to paste in a contest of sheer strength. As it stood, Berserker _had_ managed to injure him during that bout; he was just good at hiding his wounds. Even now his recently fractured ribs throbbed quietly. This creature could kill him if he ever let his guard down. The same could be said of him. Should he ever recover his sanity, he might become even more lethal. Even his _Creation of All Things_ wouldn't be able to save him if that monster got his hands on him. Maybe it would've been safer to slay him after all. If his morals hadn't intervened, they wouldn't be having this conversation in the first palce. Perhaps sensing his gaze, the giant's mismatching eyes swiveled to find his.

Naruto inclined his head, and to his amusement, Heracles did the same.

In that moment, man and beast shared an understanding.

An accord between two warriors.

 _Well met._

"That aside, we _should_ prepare." Rin interjected, counting off her hand. Even with this alliance," she nearly choked on the word, "Our enemies in this war are Archer, Rider, Assassin, Saber." she paused, letting the weight of her words sink in against their newfound alliance. "Saber's obviously the most dangerous excluding our own servants, so I believe we should target their master first."

Illya perked up.

"I agree. That aside, you forgot to mention Lancer-

 _'Aha!'_

"Ah, that guy?" Naruto perked up at the mention of the latter, spurred by the short-lived memory of his clone's encounter. "I already met him. Got real close and personal with his Noble Phantasm. Red Spear that goes straight for your heart and fucks with casualty. Gae Bolg, I think it was. Pretty sure he's the Irish version of Heracles over there. Cú Chulainn, basically. Not someone I'd like to fight alone."

Heracles grunted.

The girls' heads snapped toward him.

 _"Weh?/Ha?"_

"Its just as I said." Naruto reiterated. "Did I stutter?"

"When did you fight _him?"_ Rin frowned. "You were with me the entire time."

"That's easy."

It would've been so easy to simply tell rather than show, but for some reason he was feeling impish.

Rising from his seat, he crossed his hands and channeled a bit of chakra.

 _"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu."_

To her credit, Illya detected the sudden swell of energy well before Caster spoke up. To Rin's eyes twin plumes of smoke echoed Naruto's words. When it cleared, a pair of identical copies stood on either side of the blond, flanking him. The original crossed both arms before his chest, content to watch. Ah, surprise. He never grew tired of that. Tohsaka's reaction was so pronounced as to be consider comical. Poor Illya seemed to be holding herself together in any case, though the slight twitch of her mouth suggested she too hadn't expected this outcome.

"T-T-Two of them?!"

"Caster, how on earth did you...?!"

"Its a...skill of mine. I can create more if I want, Master." he dropped the hint with a sly smile. "Might tax your reserves though, if I use it in conjunction with Creation of All Things."

 _"Creation of All Things?"_

Naruto cursed himself for his slip of the tongue.

Unbeknownst to him, Illya's eyes lit up.

Caster scarcely noticed.

Damnit.

He hadn't wanted to reveal that yet!

A ninja prided themselves on secrecy and stealth; though he'd been summoned as Caster, the blond was loathe to reveal his techniques or mysteries to the outside world. Shadow Clones were an exception, if only because he felt certain no one could replicate the technique to his level without perishing in the process. But Creation of All Things was a _recent_ skill, one he'd acquired towards the end of his life. Granted, if used properly, it held a great potential for good, but the wrong hands it could be an absolute terror. One look at Rin told him she wouldn't be satisfied with his silence now.

No escape there.

"You use jewel magic, right?

Rin blinked.

"Yes," she relented reluctantly, "But I don't see how that's prevalent to what you-

"Watch."

Blue eyes flickered into violet and the Tohsaka heiress winced slightly as Caster pulled more Prana from her circuits than usual.

 _Clink._

Not a heartbeat later, she found a flawless sapphire in her lap.

Rin's mouth went dry at the unspoken insinuation.

Just how many could he make?!

Dozens?

Hundreds?

Thousands?

No, he'd said it would _tax_ her reserves.

If he meant what she thought, however...this war was hers.

She possessed a Servant who'd just revealed himself to be capable of duplication on a obscene scale; a man who wielded multiple Noble Phantasms and a Reality Marble. A warrior with multiple skills, capable of going toe-to-toe with Berserker and _winning._ Someone who could create endless amounts of jewels for her, exponentially increasing her stock for the duration of the war. And all without fear of exhausting her own funds! She nearly giggled outright at the thought. Truly, it seemed that this war belonged to her. She would have to tread careful where Saber was concerned-because who knew what kind of monster had been summoned this time around-but if she played her cards right...the thought left her giddy with excitement.

Ha.

Haha.

 _Hahaha!_

"Oi, Master." Naruto drawled. "That's a scary face you've got there...

"Why, whatever do you mean, Caster? I'm just happy." Still wearing that sickly sweet smile and dark aura like a fell shroud, she turned to face Caster, noting for the first time the faintest look of concern in the eyes of her Servant. "I retract my earlier statement. You're a marvelous Servant. I foresee great things from you. Provided we work together, of course."

Naruto felt a cold chill come over him.

To think, he'd thought _Illya_ was dangerous.

Tohsaka Rin made the Einzbern pale by comparison.

Ah, he truly did have a conniving little magus for a Master...

"Hey, if you're gonna use me for my body at least take me on a second date." he sighed.

"Duly noted." Rin chirped. "Rest assured, I'll make very, _very_ good use of you in the next few days...

 _"Urk."_

Perhaps realizing the the conversation was turning away from her, Illya coughed quietly.

"I'll thank you to remember that I'm here, too." she reminded them.

Naruto quietly thanked the gods above and below.

"Right! Strategy. Let's do that."

Time blurred by as the three of them made their plans for the war to come. Battle lines were drawn. Bounded fields erected. Strengths and weaknesses ruthlessly taken apart. Plans dissected, put back together, only to be torn apart once again when someone pointed out their flaws. Noble Phantasms such as Heracles God Hand and Naruto's "Clones" were discussed loudly and at great length. Debates given, counterpoints offered. Hours fell to cutting words and insistent arguments, and all the while the horizon steadily brightened until at last...

"You've gotta be kidding me. Morning already?"

...dawn came before any of them realized it.

As fellows Servants, Naruto and Heracles had no conventional need for rest. They could simply return to spiritual form to recover. The same could not be said for their Masters. While neither Illya nor Rin had succumbed to sleep as of yet, one could clearly see it was only a matter of time before they crashed. Naruto himself had half a mind to take his stubborn Master home right then and there, but...

"I'd to discuss a personal matter with Caster." Illya declared suddenly. "Alone."

Caster had a fair idea of what that matter might be.

Rin snapped back to wakefulness with a snarl.

"If you think for _one second_ that I'm going to leave you alone with my...

"It's fine, Rin." the blond interjected with a raised hand. "I can handle myself. After all, Berserker isn't going to leave this room either, is he?"

 **...!"** Heracles conceded the point with a wordless rumble.

"Just wait outside." Naruto urged. "I'll send a clone with you."

...very well." she relented, shoulders slumping. "But!" her eyes burned with inner fire, "You have one minute! Nothing more!"

"I'm fairy certain that's all we'll need." Illya agreed, surprisingly mature. "Thank you."

Rin's only response was to slam the door as hard as she could.

And just like that, Illya von Einzbern had her wish.

At first, neither dared to break the silence.

Naruto didn't much blame her.

Rin, he could understand.

Not so Illya.

For the life of him, he couldn't figure out what the child wanted from him. Even after she'd revealed her true age to them, he still had troubling believing it. Just what was wrong with her body that she'd age so slowly? If he hadn't possessed these eyes, he wouldn't believe it. When he looked at her with them he sensed no ill-intent. Only...adoration? For better or worse, it appeared that her newfound affection for him was genuine. Why? Because he'd bested Berserker? Because he'd spared her life? Because he'd declared that life to have worth? Or did she simply intend to use him with the intent of turning on him at the last instant? He was well prepared in any case of such treachery, but he wasn't willing to unleash those mysteries unless absolutely certain. Ah, this was just too troublesome!

"So?" he posited warily, careful to keep one eye on Berserker at all times, "What is it you want from me, exactly, Einzbern."

"Please, Onii-chan. Just call me Illya."

Harsh blue eyes narrowed coldly.

...that wasn't an answer."

The homunculus huffed and puffed out her cheeks at that remark.

"Moh, don't be rude!"

He had an inkling of what she wanted, but again, he refused to speak it unless absolutely certain. He could, in theory repair an inefficiencies in her body given the nature of his Mark if asked, but would he? For a stranger he barely knew, yet allied with regardless? Once, in the past, he would've jumped at the chance to do some good. But now...

In the end, he decided to take the road less traveled.

"I'll only ask you one more time." Naruto warned. "Speak now or forever hold your peace. What. Do. You. Want. From. Me?"

Surprisingly, Illya answered him readily.

A tiny hand took hold of the hem of his robe.

"Your skill...Creation of All Things. Can you create _anything_ with it?"

 _'Well. This is unexpected. What are you after?'_

Caster arched an eyebrow.

"In theory, yes. Why?"

"O-Oh. Good."

Illya deflated visibly at his reply, tension draining out of her like water from a broken sieve.

Caster tensed regardless, expecting a ludicrous demand to follow.

Perhaps sensing his Master's discomfort, Berserker shifted.

Even then her request nearly floored Naruto outright.

Her words, little more than a whisper emerged:

 _...can you create a new body for me?"_

 **A/N: We get more action next chapter!**

 **Yes, I just did that!**

 **And I'm probably going to catch some flak over it, but screw it.**

 **So let's explain, for those who don't understand:**

 **It stands to reason that Naruto could repair the damage done to Illya's body and extend her life. His Mark possesses incredible power, after all. Toss in the Rinnegan and its quite doable. Yes, I am aware that Illya was meant to be the host of the grail. Well, that'll just have to be passed on to someone else. And I know just who it'll be.**

 **I think we can all agree on who that is, neh?**

 **Wonder what this might cause...**

 **On another note, there will be alliances in this story of course. Expect the unexpected! I aim to take this story down a different route than most, but the question is which? Hmm. We'll bump into ol' Shirou next chapter, and there'll be a clash of ideologies between him and Naruto for obvious reasons. As well as a few more surprises. I feel I should also state that Shirou DOES summon Saber by this point, albeit offscreen.**

 **I won't name the other Servants, ah, for the night is dark and full of spoilers...**

 **Expect chaos and incredible battles to ensue!**

 **So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review, Would You Kindly?**

 **And enjoy the good ol' potential previews!**

 **They're rough atm, so don't think too much of them!**

 **Please bear in mind that they're just POTENTIAL outcomes.**

 **Nothing's solid yet, so as always there's plenty of room for change. No flak please~!**

 **They're just scenarios that COULD happen.**

 **There are a lot for a REASON, ya know.**

 **Tell me which ones you like!**

 **Enjoy~!**

 **We've also got a few deaths coming up soon!**

 **(Previews)**

 _"You are an aberration. You must be dealt with."_

 _"Ho? Ruler class, you say?"_

 _A dark grin spread across Gilgamesh's face._

 _"Let us see if you are worthy of that title, wench!"_

* * *

 _Caster regarded the circle he'd traced with trepidation._

 _It would be so easy to attempt the ritual._

 _He had more than enough power._

 _They truly needed another ally._

 _But a thorn of doubt held him back._ The idea of having someone beholden to him was appalling; even in his current state, he had no desire to shackle another being to him against his will. That aside, he had no idea what he might summon. In theory it should be Assassin, the last remaining Servant in the war. Or it might be another Caster. The thought made him shudder. He had access to materials he never would've thought of using, his power was at its utmost limits, swelled by Rin's prana.

Yet something made him hesitate.

 _"Do I dare...?"_

* * *

 _Illya shrank back in fear._

 _"W-What are you?"_

 _...Avenger."_

* * *

 _"DYNAMIC ENTRY!"_

 _Archer looked up._

 _Saw the boot._

 _Too late._

 _"Shit!"_

 _"Why lure us to this place? Not just to fight, no you're protecting something...someone."_

 _"...and if I am?"_

 _Luvia sneered._

 _"Then_ _grovel! Submit yourself to me and I **might** spare her, Caster!"_

 _...I will never submit. My soul is sworn to her. You can stick me full of arrows, you can stab me with unlimited blades, but I won't turn on her. I have my honor. Something your Archer knows nothing about. Ain't that right, EMIYA?" Grunting, he forced himself to his feet. "That's right. I know who you are. C'mon then, mister ex-hero." he beckoned, swaying on his feet. "You might kill me, but I'll make you work for it! I'll kick yer arse so hard that even that stupid Shirou's gonna feel it!"_

 _Luvia grimaced._

 _"So be it. Archer, by the power of my Command Seal, I order you to..._

 _CRUNCH._

 _She swayed as something struck her from behind._

 _"What...why am I..._ _"_

 _In disbelief, she looked down to see a hand protruding from her chest._

 _Startled, to see blood._

 _Her blood._

 _"I...you...but that's...that's cheating..._

 _It wasn't Caster's hand._

 _Nor was this Archer._

 _It belonged to...!_

* * *

 _Naruto twitched._

 _"For something like that...you'd trample them?!"_

 _Ignoring his wound, he stood._

 _"Stand aside?" bloodied hair shaded his eyes, hiding them from view. They did nothing to conceal his snarl. "Surrender? To you? For a stupid wish like that? Fuck that! Fuck this! FUCK YOU!"_

 _"Caster, what-_

 _With a snarl, Caster flung down his staff and raised his remaining arm, fingers splayed toward the enemy. Golden light swarmed him, taking on the shape of a beast. Rin didn't wait to see what kind. Sensing the sudden buildup of Prana, she dove to the ground, dragging Illya with her. Not a moment too soon. The subsequent shockwave sent even Berserker stumbling; forcing the wounded titan to drop to a knee. Though the great giant shielded them from the backlash, he couldn't block the sound of Naruto's spell. Nor could he fully contain the sight. Rin saw the gathering vortex and something in her went cold as she beheld the spiraling sphere of energy. Not a Rasengan. Or a Rasenshuriken._

 _This was worse._

 _Violet energy swirled out, congealing in a towering sphere before his hand._

 _A keening gale rose at his call._

 _"SABER!" Caster-Naruto!-roared over the storm, his words laced with inimitable fury. "You call yourself a king?!_ _Let's see you try and stop this one then, **your majesty!"**_

 _Perhaps she sensed the danger._

 _Regardless, the tyrant stood her ground._

 _With a roar, he leveled the teeming mass of energy at Arturia._

 _"Arthur! After all you said to me you're not going to try to dodge this, are you?!"_

 _A dark excited look bloomed in those frigid golden eyes._

 _She hefted her burning blade._

 _...come, then."_

 _"I knew it! BIJUDAMA!"_

 ** _"EXCALIBUR MORGAN!"_**

 ** _R &R~!_**

 ** _=D_**


	5. A Fool's Hope

**A/N:** **NO MORE SNOW AND I'M HAPPY AS A CLAM~!**

 **Also, hungover, but that's another matter considering last night.**

 **I'm going to say it right now, this story LEAPS right of the rails when it comes to following canon. If you thought it was chaotic before with Saber Alter being summoned before, this chapter's really going to jump the proverbial shark. Oh? Don't believe me? Well then, I look forward to reading your startled reviews~!**

 **After all...we know Naruto seldom follows the rules and booooooooy does he just live to break them!**

 **Disclaimer: I own NOTHING related to BlazingAzureCrow. They're a massive inspiration!**

 **HOLY CRAP SO MUCH SUPPORT! Thanks for all the reviews!**

 **Now, onto your questions!**

 **Q: Why is Illya so smitten with Naruto?**

 **A: I explained this last chapter. Rather than end her outright, Naruto spared Illya's life. In doing so, he basically declared that life to have worth. For someone who lived only to die, and knew she would be a sacrifice...well that's enough to get her attention. Thus, she started calling him that blasted nickname, much to his consternation. When he mentioned Creation of All Things, it suddenly occurred to her that she might be able to survive the War after all. For Illya, I think that's a big deal. She just wants to live, ya know?**

 **Q: Isn't COAT kinda energy intensive, though?**

 **A: Once Naruto uses Creation of All Things to make something, it sticks around. It doesn't cost Prana/Chakra to maintain it, only to make it. Making a magical jewel is child's play for him. Creating a body for Illya? More taxing. If he tried GROWING A BLOODY FOREST FROM NOTHING then yes, the strain of that would hurt a lot more. Mind you, he has his own energy reserves, so its a matter of picking and choosing when to use Rin's energy.**

 **He doesn't want to kill her after all.**

 **Q: He shouldn't have a second Reality Marble unless he transforms or something. What's the deal? Shouldn't that be impossible?**

 **A: Naruto's second reality Marble basically turns him into...well. You'll see. There's a reason he won't use it.**

 **Q: Oh, dear god. Naruto's going to summon HER isn't he?! I just know it!**

 **A: Yes, our "Caster" will indeed attempt to summon another Servant in spite of Heaven's Feel. Whether it blows up in his face or not...remains to be seen.**

 **Q: Illya's getting a new body?!**

 **A: What Naruto's doing goes beyond mere repair, yes.**

 **Q: I get the feeling Assassin knows Naruto...**

 **A: Assassin does indeed. Furthermore, Assassin also has his own Master. You'll see who...**

 **Q: Oh dear god, Shirou's summoned Saber Alter. How does she know him?**

 **A: Its implied that this is the one from the Heaven's Feel route. The one that he killed.**

 **Q: Shirou's in for a bad time, isn't he.**

 **A: Ah, but that would be telling!**

 **Q: When do we get to see some deaths?!**

 **A: They're coming, and you might well be surprised.**

 **Q: Berserker seems...slightly sane in this. Nice touch. Is he going to get his mind back?**

 **A: Illya can indeed restore his sanity, to a degree. The question is, will she? If Heracles gets his sanity back...well. Nine Lives hurts like HELL.**

 **Remember, this story is more serious than my other works. There are consequences for every move. For every action, an equal and opposite reaction. There will be pain. There will be sorrow. People will die. But there will also be joy, moments of levity, and so on. If you want something silly and funny as well as drama free, try "Not My Grail."**

 **There, that being said...**

 **Now...**

 **...onto the next chapter of A Ninja's War!**

 **Some unexpected twists take place!**

 **And gee, I wonder who Assassin might be...**

 **This chapter gives a big fucking hint.**

 ***Whistles very innocently...***

 _"There never was much hope, you know...only a fool's hope."_

 _...I don't think you're a fool, Master."_

 _"That makes one of us."_

 _~"_

 **A Fool's Hope**

Caster regarded the circle he'd traced with trepidation.

"Well, shit." he muttered. "Hope I didn't screw anything up...

If he had made even the slightest mistake, this wouldn't be pretty.

He'd spent the last few hours painstakingly adjusting it to his standards, exacting in his measurements. Knowing what would transpire if he failed. If he hadn't been summoned as Caster this time around, he wouldn't have possessed the means to even attempt such a ritual in the first place. Part of him wondered why he was going through with it at all. This was illogical. In theory, it shouldn't be possible for _him_ to summon a Servant at all if the respective classes had already been chosen earlier in the War. He too, was a Servant, after all. A Servant who had ensured his Master would sleep through this. Perhaps that was cowardly of him, to make Rin and Illya sleep for such a long period of time. All so he could work.

Would Rin view this as a betrayal? Naruto hoped not.

This was, after all, for her sake as much as his.

It would be so easy to attempt the ritual.

He had more than enough power.

And they needed another ally.

His battle with Berserker had proven a revelation of sorts; for all the power he carried in this form, he was very much a glass cannon when it came to the stronger Servants. A solid hit from someone like Saber might very break him if he was caught unprepared. The great giant might be their ally for now, but who was to say things wouldn't turn? The grounds of Illya's abode were rich with energy. He couldn't think of a better place to try a dangerous ritual...beyond that forsaken temple. And his senses told him there was most _certainly_ a Servant residing there. No. It was now or never.

A thorn of doubt held him back.

The idea of having someone beholden to him grew appalling the more he dwelled on it; even in his current state, he had no desire to shackle another being to him against his will. That aside, he had no idea what he might summon. In theory it should be Assassin, the last remaining Servant in the war. Or it might be another Caster. The thought made him shudder. He had access to materials he never would've thought of using, his power was at its utmost limits, swelled by Rin's prana. Indeed, creating a new body for Illya had barely impacted his reserves at all. Dispelling a handful of his reconnaissance clones had been more than enough to top him off again. By rights, he should be able to break the rules at least once without the system coming down on him. Regardless of who-or what-he summoned another ally in this war would be invaluable.

Yet something made him hesitate.

"Do I dare...?"

The silence of night gave no answers. Indeed, it almost seemed to mock him for his indecision. Why _was_ he hesitating? Morals aside, he'd done this for a noble purpose. For Rin. For victory. If it failed, then it failed. He had nothing to lose and everything to gain. If by some chance whatever he summoned rebelled, or couldn't be controlled, then he would accept responsibility and slay them. That was his duty as a summoner, after all. A single attempt, one final effort. All or nothing. It would be over in an instant.

 _So why hadn't he moved?_

Because he was afraid. As much as he loathed to admit it, he feared failure. The promise of a wish-a chance to reset his fate-was too promising to ignore. Yet from what he'd seen, the competition was just too stiff for him to abide by his own strength. Perhaps had he been summoned as Rider or Assassin, Caster would've held more confidence in his chances. The Throne had given him enough information for him to realize the severity of the task ahead, and the enormity of what he faced. There was no need to falter.

His eyebrow twitched.

"Ah, fuck it!"

Leveling his staff at the circle, he channeled as much energy as he dared. Too much, and he risked blowing his own arm off. Too little and the summoning wouldn't take or worse, he'd end up with a sub par ally. He lacked any sot of catalyst to aid him in this; thus, this. Immediately the inscriptions pulsed, burning an eerie blue. Azure light lit the grove, casting him in cerulean relief. Slowly, carefully, Caster began a chant, imbuing the words with sound and power. Even a faux or demi servant would do. Something. Anything to help them reach the goal. Perhaps if he was lucky, he'd pull someone from his era...though he doubted his chances. No, he needed to call a front line fighter, somewhere of unquestionable skill and loyalty, or even devotion-

With a sharp click, he drove his weapon into the ground.

"ARISE!"

Remarkably something answered.

Cold light briefly blazed night into day.

Frost licked at his feet, seeking to sap his strength.

Pain burned across his hand, informing him he'd succeeded...

...not in the way he'd expected. No. Not in the least. This was...new.

"Oh, fuck me." he groaned at the sight of them. "Who in the blue hell are you?"

On bent knee, the newcomer rose for him.

She was beautiful to say the least; the eye of any other beholder would've been smitten on the spot. Even Caster had to steel himself somewhat, lest he be enraptured by the sight of her. In presence alone she proved all but impossible to read. As if he were staring at a blank sheet of ice that reflected naught but his own image.

This was...unexpected.

Radiant and gorgeous mythril armor shone like glittering diamonds on the woman's well-endowed figure. Cradled in her hands, a towering lance loomed. It should've been impossible to wield, and yet for her, it was held aloft as though it weighed no more than a twig. Pale hair the color of snow framed her face, reflecting eyes like harsh chips of ice. Long lashes fluttered open and shut, then open again, unable to meet meet his gaze for more than a mere moment. Those amethyst eyes seemed drenched by the night itself, cold and frozen. Stained by the night, twisted in madness.

And yet she seemed frail.

Composed of little more than glass.

As though a harsh word would shatter her.

A hesitant, weak smile graced her lips as she met his gaze.

 _...Brynhildr."_ she spoke softly, her words little more than a whisper; one his ears strained to catch. "My class is...Lancer. Please do not be kind to me...Master."

Naruto swallowed thickly.

 _'How the hell did I manage to summon a Lancer? I already fought one! So how is she here?!'_ the pale beauty standing prone before him provided no answers, only more confusion. _'I thought screwing with the Grail would land me something different, but this is...eh, screw it. Guess I should be happy I didn't die.'_

"Alright," Naruto groaned, palming his face. "I guess you've answered my question. But _what_ are you?"

The pale woman tilted her head.

...Valkyrie."

 _"Aaaaaaand_ you've gone and added more questions."

Risking a glance at his hand, Caster sighed.

Seemed fate had a sense of humor.

The symbols formed a lance.

Three parts, together.

 _'Well...shit.'_

Turning his gaze to his new ally, Naruto carefully schooled his face into a calm mask and rose to his full height. Wouldn't do for him to appear flustered after all. He had no way of knowing if this "ally" would betray him or not. Jeez, all this worrying was going to make him paranoid! Did Rin have to deal with this on a daily basis...? No, no, he had more important matters to attend.

Pivoting on one heel, he extended his hand, exposing his Command Seals.

 _"I need your help."_

This was the test.

A simple one at that.

If she tried to chop his hand off, he'd kill her on the spot.

Before his eyes, the self-proclaimed Valkyrie straightened just so. His keen eyes didn't miss the motion. As if a switch had been flipped deep inside of her, so too did Lancer's body shift. Almost imperceptibly, a movement so minuscule-so tiny-that most would have missed it outright. Not him. In a heartbeat she had readied herself for combat without the slightest hesitation; though against him or someone else, he knew not. Regardless, his opinion of this soft-spoken girl rose a bit more in that moment. Brynhildr...ah, the Throne supplied the rest. He'd really summoned someone troublesome...

"...what are your orders, Master? Where is the enemy?"

Caster's jaw nearly dropped open.

"Eh? Oi! Wait, just like that?"

The valkyrie nodded slowly her head.

"You summoned me." as he looked on, her gauntleted fingers curled around her weapon, "Therefore I shall follow your orders. But...do not be kind to me-

-because you'll end up trying to kill me." the whiskered warrior finished with a frown. "Yeah, fuck that. I'm not going to treat you like a tool no matter how kindly you ask me to. A Servant isn't a weapon to be pointed at one's enemy then thrown aside when they've exhausted their usefulness. You're a _person._ Don't forget that."

Brynhildr stiffened at his response.

"I...B-But then I will-

"Kill me, right?"

A mute nod was her sole assent.

Naruto sighed.

 _'Jeez, she's broken..._

 _...then again, I suppose am too.'_

Somewhat rattled by the reminder of his own flaws, Caster turned to depart, intent upon returning to the mansion before its occupants rose to find him gone. Even now he could feel Rin stirring; the effect of the spells he'd cast were wearing thin. She'd be up soon, and she would want answers. Demand, most likely. So would Illya. The latter was likely going to want to flaunt her new body, which would likely provoke Tohsaka in turn. And he was dragging an "illegal" servant into middle of it all. Ah, troublesome! He really did have an energetic little Master. Speaking of which...

After a moment's consider he paused, favoring Brynhildr with a glance.

"Try to kill me as many times as you like. I'll survive."

The Valkyrie favored his back with a wan smile.

 _"My, how terrifying...Master."_

* * *

 _(...Scene Break...)_

* * *

 _"How long was I out?!"_

Rin's shout reverberated through the empty halls of the the Einzbern mansion with sound and aplomb; an indignant shout as horrified as it was outraged. Any sane fool would have cowered before it, Servant or magus alike. Even the Queen herself would have been given pause by Tohsaka's rage. Not Caster. The surly servant took her anger in stride, letting it wash over him like water off a duck's back. Somehow, that only served to stoke the flames of Tohsaka's confusion all the more. It had become abundantly clear that her body had sorely needed the rest; she hadn't expected to fall asleep in the morning and wake when it was night again! Ugh, this was going to play havoc with her internal clock!

Putthing that aside, why had she allowed herself to sleep this late in the first place?!

In the meager hours she'd allowed herself to sleep, her Servant had been busy. Very busy indeed!

What were those ice burns on his arms!?

Why did he look so banged up?!

Just what had she missed?!

Honestly, it made Rin want to give Caster a good hard shake. She'd drifted off for a few hours, trusting him to have the situation well in hand by the time she returned. After all, he'd just beaten Berserker within an inch of his life-lives?-while emerging relatively unscathed. Then when she'd came back, he looked like...this! Of course he had some explaining to do! She knew that face; he was hiding something from her, she just knew it! Even now she found herself forced to keep pace with him as he relentlessly marched ahead of her, leading her through the warren of corridors comprising the mansion.

And then there was...this woman!

Aqua orbs flicked over her shoulder, regarding the enigmatic woman who Naruto affectionately addressed as "his" Lancer.

Brynhildr scarcely met her gaze before averting her own.

"I'm sorry...

 _Sorry for what?!_

At first she'd refused to believe it; the idea that a Servant-even one of Caster's caliber-summoning another was unheard of. You'd have to be ridiculously powerful and broken-or both-and be willing to risk catastrophe just by interacting with the grail. Let alone manipulating it remotely from a distance! But the seals on his hand were all too genuine to be dismissed. Somehow, someway, Uzumaki Naruto had managed to spit in the face of the Grail war and emerge relatively unscathed, judging by his cheery demeanor. Which meant "she" by definition, now had another Servant under her command. It was almost too good be true!

"God, just how broken are you!?"

"Not so loud, Master." Naruto yawned, palming his face. "I'm kinda sleepy after all this. Still, I'm glad to see you're so lively after I put you under."

"Put me-?! So it was you?!"

"It was for your own good, I assure you." Caster soothed, patting her head in passing. "Don't be like that. I learned something good while you were out."

Now it was Tohsaka's turn to flinch.

"Such as...?"

Caster shrugged.

"Nothing important...save that the Holy Grail requires the sacrifice of seven servants to function." despite his accusation, he never missed a stride. "Maybe you should have mentioned that, earlier." He didn't even look at her as he spoke, further allowing the sheer enormity of his words sink in. "Honestly, it makes a man wonder if you're planning to stab him in the back...

Rin froze.

"I didn't know."

In truth, she didn't.

That part of her education had been conveniently absent; neither her father or that damn priest had deigned to mention it to her. Oh. A terrifying realization stole over her. If Naruto was sacrificed to the Grail, he wouldn't be able to get his wish. If he couldn't receive his long-cherished desire, then what reason did he have to serve her? Wait. Wait, wait, _wait!_ Her mind kicked into overdrive when she saw him raise his hand. Was he going to kill her? He'd sworn his staff to her service but this clearly constituted as a betrayal of his trust. Did that render the contract void? If so, could she stop him in time? She still had three Command Seals, but her Servant had proven he was wickedly quick on the draw-

His hand descended...

"Eh?"

...and ruffled her hair.

"Hmmph." he grunted. "I'll take your word for it, then."

"You...you're not angry?"

"Don't worry, Master." the innocence of his smile rattled her more than his fury ever could. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I'm sure I can figure out a work around."

"Hmmph!" puffing her cheeks, the Tohsaka heiress averted her gaze, "And here I thought you weren't going to give me preferential treatment."

Naruto laughed.

"Why not? You've always been my goddess, haven't you? I like ya!"

Ding!

 _Critical hit!_

Rin nearly tripped.

Her lower lip trembled.

Hands balled into fists at her side.

A tide of conflicting emotions chased each other across her face and despite her best efforts, Rin felt herself begin to blush. A slow, determined flush inexorably crawled up her neck, burning in her cheeks, searing her ears before finally working its way to her forehead. No, no, no! Not allowed! Not at all! This wasn't fair! Not even remotely! Her frazzled thoughts scattered to the winds, refusing to compose themselves despite her best efforts to marshal them in a scathing retort. Indeed, Tohsaka was forced on the defensive by the blond's casual remark. What was he thinking, saying that?!"

In a fit of pique her hand shot out, snatching at his sleeve.

Naruto paused, a note of confusion leaving him.

Even then, Rin refused to release him.

"That's not fair...you can't just...

Caster frowned slightly.

"Can't just...?"

"Aha!" a loud, determined voice interrupted their moment. "There you are, Onii-chan! Why'd you put me to sleep?!"

Irritated, Rin rounded on the newcomer with a growl...

...only for her words to trail off into a squeak.

"Eh?! Illya?! Why do you look like...?!"

Naruto palmed his face.

"Such misfortune!"

* * *

 _(...Meanwhile, on the Outskirts of the Einzbern Estate...)_

* * *

Assassin laughed.

A great whooping cackle tore out of him as he flailed about on the ground like a madman. Sandals kicking wildly in the air, he clutched at his side, to no avail.

"Oh, this is just too much!"

Truly, the sight laid before him was simply too much to bear. A great roaring guffaw ripped through the early morning as the once-dead man doubled over and clutched at his aching sides. Broad shoulders trembled and he fought to restrain himself; only to fail spectacularly as a fresh fit of mirth unexpectedly seized him. His laughter sent several birds shrieking into the air, cawing furiously at being woken from their slumber. He cared not a wit for their plight. Indeed one might say their anger made him cackle all the more. He was entirely too pleased to even notice.

This.

 _This_ made him glad to be alive again.

This was just too much. That darn kid! He never ceased to amaze him. When had he become such a ladies man?!

Truly he had a reason to be merry for the first time in...well, a very long time. Putting his second chance at life aside, he'd been rather worried about the kid. No, not worried. He didn't worry. Call it...curiosity. After all, he hadn't seen him in ages. So he'd watched. And he'd waited. And he saw. He hadn't been disappointed. He was doing just fine.

How fortunate he'd been to receive such an understanding master...

 _...pity he had to kill them both._

 **A/N: We get more action next chapter!**

 **Yes, I just did that!**

 **And I'm probably going to catch some flak over it, but screw it.**

 **So let's explain, for those who don't understand:**

 **It stands to reason that Naruto could repair the damage done to Illya's body and extend her life. His Mark possesses incredible power, after all. Toss in the Rinnegan and its quite doable. Yes, I am aware that Illya was meant to be the host of the grail. Well, that'll just have to be passed on to someone else. And I know just who it'll be.**

 **I think we can all agree on who that is, neh?**

 **Wonder what this might cause...**

 **On another note, there will be alliances in this story of course. Expect the unexpected! I aim to take this story down a different route than most, but the question is which? Hmm. We'll bump into ol' Shirou next chapter, and there'll be a clash of ideologies between him and Naruto for obvious reasons. As well as a few more surprises. I feel I should also state that Shirou DOES summon Saber by this point, albeit offscreen.**

 **I won't name the other Servants, ah, for the night is dark and full of spoilers...**

 **Expect chaos and incredible battles to ensue!**

 **So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review, Would You Kindly?**

 **And enjoy the good ol' potential previews!**

 **They're rough atm, so don't think too much of them!**

 **Please bear in mind that they're just POTENTIAL outcomes.**

 **Nothing's solid yet, so as always there's plenty of room for change. No flak please~!**

 **They're just scenarios that COULD happen.**

 **There are a lot for a REASON, ya know.**

 **Tell me which ones you like!**

 **Enjoy~!**

 **We've also got a few deaths coming up soon!**

 **(Previews)**

 _"DIE, RULER!"_

* * *

 _Kotomine chuckled darkly._

 _"Its sad, isn't it?"_

 _Naruto bristled._

 _"What is?"_

 _"That you'll never have what you desire."_

 _A blazing red eye reappeared over his shoulder._

 _...oi. You wanna run that by me again, shitty priest?"_

* * *

 _"Harder, Master~!"_

 _Naruto sighed in annoyance._

 _"Oi, I'm just unblocking your pressure points. Crazy woman..._

* * *

 _...I delayed you. That's enough for me."_

 _Gilgamesh twitched._

 _"Then die, dog!"_

 _Assassin raised his gaze._

 _Beheld the storm of blades._

 _And laughed in the face of his death._

 ** _R &R~!_**

 ** _=D_**


	6. Long Live the King (Interlude)

**A/N: YES!** **NO MORE SURGERIES AND I'M HAPPY AS A CLAM~!**

 **Also, tired, but that's another matter considering last night.**

 **Disclaimer: I own NOTHING related to BlazingAzureCrow or other media. They're a massive inspiration!**

 **HOLY CRAP SO MUCH SUPPORT! Thanks for all the reviews!**

 **Now, onto your questions!**

 **Q: Playing havoc with the Masters are we? I like it.**

 **A: I'm glad you approve!**

 **Q: How many Noble Phantasms does Naruto possess?**

 **A: Let's clarify them, shall we? I've been meaning to go back and edit my author's notes for this very reason. He has only a handful. Five to be exact. The first is the Reality Marble we all saw. The second is a pseudo-reality marble that only alters his _body_ as opposed to the world around him. More to come on that later. The third is, in essence, the Bijudama. The fourth is his regeneration and the fifth... **

**...that be a secret. He couldn't possibly have nine phantasms, that's just way too much.**

 **Q: Illya's new body when? Can't you describe it?**

 **A: I shall, in this chapter.** **In terms of appearance, think a younger Irysviel.**

 **Q: Oh gods. Did Naruto just trigger the reserve system of the Grail by mistake?**

 **A: I wouldn't say that, rather he found a loophole and exploited it. Whether this leads to victory or defeat remains to be seen. They're wont be any Red or Black Faction servants in this story. Give "A Most Unlikely Berserker" a look if you're after that.**

 **Q: How can Saber Alter exist in this story?**

 **A: Its...complicated. Remember,** **this the one from the Heaven's Feel route. The one that he killed. A separate existence from Artoria, yet her all the same. She shouldn't exist, yet she does. If there's one thing I've learned from Grand Order, its this: Multiverse theory is a bitch.**

 **Q: Who is the Master of Assassin?! Is he who I think he is?!**

 **A: ...I admit nothing.**

 **Q: When do we get to see some deaths?!**

 **A: They're coming, and you might well be surprised.**

 **Q: Doesn't Naruto have limits in this story? He seems to retain**

 **A: For all his power he's surprisingly squishy in this iteration. Gilgamesh's Ea would kill him outright. As would a direct hit with Excalibur. And while Rin might be a fine Magus, she cannot support Naruto in combat for long; after all a lot of his techniques are far more energy intensive than Archer's and come at a far higher cost. Such is the fate of all Casters. Of course, you'd have to catch him first, but any solid hit and he's down for the count..**

 **Now, this may be an interlude, but it sets up for a pivotal battle.**

 **Minor timeskip of a few hours ahoy!**

 _"I see no king before me! Only a tyrant!"_

 _"Enough. I won't bandy words with fools and a mute. Prepare yourselves!"_

 _"Ah, Rin? Might be a good time for you and Illya to get out of here. Take Bryn and run."_

 _"What are you talking about, Caster? There's three of you and only one of her! Can't you just-_

 _...and she's likely to wipe the floor with all of of us in spite of that. Nothing personal, but run. NOW."_

 _~?_

 **Long Live the King (Interlude)**

 _"What is the meaning of this, Assassin?"_

If he was at all offended by her remark, the Servand did little to show it.

Instead he merely raised his palms before her to show himself unarmed. Harmless.

As if an Assassin could ever be such a thing. No, she would not lower her defenses for one such as this.

"Now, now! Don't be like that, Saber!" His low, mellow voice rubbed pleasantly against her ears. "Think of it as a token of goodwill."

"Ho?" Saber felt her mouth curl down into an irritated grimace as she digested the information she'd just been fed. "Why tell me this, then? I fail to see the purpose of revealing a contender in this war." That much remained true. For an enemy Servant to simply appear on her doorstep and reveal the location of not one, not two, but _three_ additional Servants boggled the mind. Much less his claim that one of said Servants had somehow managed to manipulate the Greater Grail into doing his bidding. Really, it begged the obvious question.

"What do you seek to gain from this?"

A sly smile greeted her.

 _"Everything."_

That actually drew a blink from the golden-eyed servant. Assassin had spoken with such sincerity that she found herself hard-pressed to challenge him. There was no madness to be found in his gaze, only frozen resolve; an iron will to match her own.

"I...beg your pardon?" she sputtered.

"Simple." a lone finger rose to jab at the empty air between them. "You're going to track down Caster; an old protege of mine. _You're_ going to pick a fight with him; because lets face it, in your current state you're just too damn proud to do anything else. _And you're going to lose."_ a feral grin blossomed upon his tattooed face. "Oh, you might get some licks in sure, but one way our another, you'll suffer defeat at his hands. Eventually, you'll join his side as a direct result of that defeat."

 _"Preposterous."_

"Wait, it gets better!" the lavishly clad man cackled. "'Y'see, the kid has a way of making enemies into allies. If he has his way, you might even see the error of your-

 _Shing._

Excalibur arced out with bitter surety, alighting under the man's jaw.

"Choose your words with care, Assassin." Saber hissed. "Lest you find yourself without a head."

"You won't kill me." his expression didn't waver. "I'm too valuable to you alive."

Her postured relaxed minutely.

...blunt of you."

"Eh, my Master's been running me ragged from the moment he summoned me." the older man admitted with a sheepish shrug, causing his coat to flare about his shoulders. "Frankly, I'd tell you how to kill the old worm outright and bind myself to someone else, if he hadn't silenced me with a Command Spell. Really, this is just a roundabout way of getting him out of my hair."

Poisoned irises flicked downward, measuring the distance between them.

Even without her armor to protect her, Saber remained confident she could survive Assassin's first strike.

From there, it would be a matter of speed; it was here that her mind grew uncertain. Just how agile was this old man?

In the end, her bottomless curiosity won the day. "You intend to rid yourself of your Master?" she inquired, edging closer. "How so?"

"Either he uses up his commands and thereby looses his hold over me, or one of you slip by and kill him." The man's painted face creased in a small smile. "You might have to deal with Rider's master in the offing, but I consider that a win-win by comparison. Don't think the kid would let you hurt her."

"Rider's master?" the plot was beginning to thicken and she wasn't sure she liked it.

Here did Assassin's face turn contemplative. Against his better judgement he turned, presenting his back to her. All in favor of watching the rising sun. Thumbing his chin, the killer favored her with a wry glance.

"She's in a bad way, that one." he murmured. "I'd like to help her if I could, but Rider's just so damn stubborn...you lot really need to learn to trust people, sometimes."

"I trust no one." Saber growled.

The man laughed at her.

"More fool you."

There was something distinctly wrong about him; not in his face, or clothes, or even that sly, jovial manner. She could still comprehend the concept of "Assassin" in her mind's eye, but anything related to his appearance seemed to slip through her fingers when she sought to grasp it. No, she couldn't hold the memory of him in her mind. Merely looking away threatened to scrub all thoughts of him from her mind. When she'd first glanced away she'd nearly forgotten his appearance entirely. Even now it was only with a supreme effort that she found herself able to maintain her mental image of him. A frightful skill indeed. Or was it a Noble Phantasm?

Regardless, the owner of said skill had seen fit to visit her at the crack of dawn without her Master's knowledge.

And while he slept, no less!

If Artoria was entirely honest with herself, Shirou was an...acceptable master. For now. Also a more than adequate cook given her voracious appetite. A normal magus he might not be, and while he might not be able to supply her with the full amount of prana she required, he had enough sense to know when to step back and let her fight. Now if only he'd abandon his morals alongside that absurd dream of his. Save everyone? Impossible. This boy was somehow even more naive than the one she'd known. Still, his foolishness had proved a boon in at least one aspect; her unwitting master wasn't idiotic enough to charge headlong into a battle he barely understood.

Better that he didn't know she was feasting on the souls of the innocent.

After all, if the alternative meant disappearing...

Still, she was loathe to lower her guard, least of all when faced with one such as this. Whomever Assassin was or claimed to be he clearly hailed from a different land than she. His stark appearance and cordial grin suggested kindness, but belied an inner menace that set her nerves on edge. This was one to be watched. Judging by his appearance she would place him as an Asian but beyond that she knew nothing of him. Whatever legend he hailed from remained steeped in mystery and _that damned skill_ wasn't helping matters any.

"Do we have an accord, then?" A lightly armored hand extended in friendship. "I tell you where to find Caster, and you swear not to seek me out?"

...very well."

Saber clicked her tongue in distaste.

Slowly, reluctantly, she lowered her blade.

"You're a strange one, Assassin. I don't understand you."

"Not much to understand." the ancient warrior riposted. "I have a wish of my own and I'll do whatever it takes to see it through. If I can talk my...student into letting me have it, all the better. If not...its nothing personal." he shrugged loosely. "Its war, after all. One I intend to win. I was quite the spymaster back in my day, I'll have you know. Suppose that gives me a leg up on you kids."

Saber Alter bristled.

"I'll thank you not to call me such." she growled.

"Sweetheart, when you've been around as long as I have, everyone's a child by comparison."

 _'Unruly coot!'_ h

"You _are_ aware that I seek my own restitution from the Grail?"

"Of course you do." he waved her warning aside as though it were little more than an afterthought. "As for Caster, you'll find him in a wooded area not far from here. He's cozzied up with that Einzbern girl you were hunting earlier. They're going to give you quite the bout, I expect."

Her pride rankled at the slight. "I relish the challenge, Assassin."

A small, sad smile plucked at the corner of his mouth.

"Oh, how the mighty have fallen."

 _"You dare?!"_

In that moment her temper finally slipped its leash. Excalibur burst forward in a bold bolt of black, skewering the pale-haired man through the chest before he cold react. A pang of regret lanced through her breast but she stubbornly thrust it aside as she wrenched the blade in the wound...

...and tasted smoke.

Much to her dismay, her sword sliced through empty air as a fresh plume of white smoke greeted her weapon. A harsh peal of hysterical laughter echoed into the gloom, causing her to whirl, but she found no blade in her back. Only that low, mocking voice trampling over the tattered remnants of her pride.

"Do you flee, coward?!"

The laughter only redoubled.

"I prefer the term tactical retreat! Its been fun, Saber! Give the kid my regards!"

* * *

 **(...0o0o0...)**

* * *

 _"Why lure us to this place? Not just to fight, no you're protecting something...someone."_

 _Naruto heard the words as though from a great distance. Yet all he felt was confusion. He opened his eyes and found not the four walls of the Einzbern mansion, but a wooded grove. A full moon hung overhead, blood red with warning. His limbs moved stiffly, as though they were mired in mud. Why was he here? He didn't know. Couldn't remember. His last coherent memory consisted of speaking with Rin; of closing his eyes for a heartbeat. Was he asleep? Did a Servant even require such? The knowledge escaped him when he reached for it._

 _Unbidden, his lips moved of their own accord._

 _"...and if I am?"_

 _His tactical mind analyzed the situation instantly as he be. A blond woman wearing some foreign style he didn't recognize, her hair styled in golden ringlets. A man with stark white hair, clad in red._

 _The former sneered at him._

 _"Then grovel! Submit yourself to me and I **might** spare her, Caster!"_

 _Despite his confusion, his mouth moved of its own accord and a bitter laugh burst out of him._

 _...I will never submit. My soul is sworn to her. You can stick me full of arrows, you can stab me with unlimited blades, but I won't turn on her. I have my honor. Something your Archer knows nothing about. Ain't that right, EMIYA?" Grunting, he forced himself to his feet. "That's right. I know who you are. C'mon then, mister ex-hero." he beckoned, swaying on his feet. "You might kill me, but I'll make you work for it! I'll kick yer arse so hard that even that stupid Shirou's gonna feel it!"_

 _The blond grimaced._

 _"So be it. Archer, by the power of my Command Seal, I order you to..._

 _CRUNCH._

 _She swayed as something struck her from behind._

 _"What...why am I..."_

 _In disbelief, she looked down to see a hand protruding from her chest._

 _Startled, to see blood._

 _Her blood._

 _"I...you...but that's...that's cheating..._

 _It wasn't Caster's hand._

 _Nor was this Archer._

 _It belonged to...!_

* * *

 **(...0o0o0...)**

* * *

 _"Wake up, damn you!"_

Blue eyes jolted open with a start, jolted from the dream at once. For a fleeting instant his mind reeled in a stupor, unable to decipher his surroundings, much less the face looming over him. The room swam around him like a storm-tossed raft caught in a wild sea, nearly taking his sense of reason with it. This wasn't his room. That certainly wasn't _her_ ? What?! When?! Where?! Why?! Thankfully sanity reasserted itself moments later, preventing a panic attack from claiming what little remained of his reason.

Through bleary eyes he beheld Rin's pensive expression.

Brynhildr, of course, was nowhere to be seen.

When in blazes...?

It was then that rest of his senses descended on him with a vengeance. In that instant he became keenly aware of a faint weight resting against his chest, accompanied by a faint scent he couldn't readily identify. A pair of slim legs twined between his, trapping him where he lay. The softest sigh wafted through his ears, fanning a faint ember of confusion to life amidst his thoughts. When he finally dared to raise his gaze, a curtain of stark white hair dominated his vision. It didn't take him long to put two and two together. Illya? Oh. Right. _Illya._ He'd crafted a new body for her. Hadn't he? Still, that failed to bridge the gap between then and now. When had he fallen asleep? More aptly, when had she crawled atop him?!

This was of course, made all the more murderous by the fact that the Einzbern homunculus no longer retained her childlike form.

If his Master's thunderous visage was anything to go by, she'd chosen quite the compromising position.

"Any last words?" she chirped sweetly.

Naruto swallowed thickly.

...I can explain."

 _"Can you?"_

"Not really, no." he gulped.

"Hweh?"

As luck would have it, Illya chose that moment to stir.

"Morning, Onii-chan...

Eyes the color of bloody rubies drifted open to meet his own. Rather than panic-which honestly would've been preferable by this point-she simply offered a quiet mewl and nuzzled her head beneath his chin. Judging by the choking sound Rin made, she'd just suffered a stroke. Illya's smug expression certainly wasn't helping matters any. Ah. So this was it, then. This was how his second life ended. Such misfortune. Why was he afflicted with such ill luck?!

 _"Urk."_

"I didn't know you could sleep...

"Mana intensive, remember?" Pearly white teeth flashed out at her in a false grin. "Had to take a nap."

"So you're running out of Mana, then?" Rin's sweet smile-lies!-didn't diminish in the least. "Anything else you'd like to divulge, Caster?"

"Unless you're suggesting I start devouring the souls of the innocent, no." the blond shook his head. "I don't think so." when she didn't challenge him, he allowed a waspish note to creep into his voice. "Right, then. I'll just pop down to the nearest police station and have a snack, shall I?"

It was precisely the wrong thing to say.

Rin absolutely hissed.

"Oho?"

A wild look flashed through those aquamarine orbs, like embers of a dying fire just waiting to spring back to life. Naruto opened his mouth to retort, only to close it just as quickly. While it could certainly be said that he _did_ enjoy teasing Rin from time to time, he was wary of pushing her too far. After all, the spunky little magus still had several Command Spells to bully him with if she so chose. Moreover, she'd had something of a stressful day. Should she take it into her head to seek retribution upon him, well...

"Enough excuses, Caster." She bit out. "We need to see that damned priest."

"Fuck're we going to church for?" he whined.

Tohsaka favored him with a dark look.

 _"Best that you don't ask."_

 **A/N: We get more action next chapter!**

 **Yes, I just did that!**

 **And I'm probably going to catch some flak over it, but screw it.**

 **So let's explain, for those who don't understand:**

 **It stands to reason that Naruto could repair the damage done to Illya's body and extend her life. His Mark possesses incredible power, after all. Toss in the Rinnegan and its quite doable. Yes, I am aware that Illya was meant to be the host of the grail. Well, that'll just have to be passed on to someone else. And I know just who it'll be.**

 **I think we can all agree on who that is, neh?**

 **Wonder what this might cause...**

 **On another note, there will be alliances in this story of course. Expect the unexpected! I aim to take this story down a different route than most, but the question is which? Hmm. We'll bump into ol' Shirou next chapter, and there'll be a clash of ideologies between him and Naruto for obvious reasons. As well as a few more surprises. I feel I should also state that Shirou DOES summon Saber by this point, albeit offscreen.**

 **I won't name the other Servants, ah, for the night is dark and full of spoilers...**

 **Expect chaos and incredible battles to ensue!**

 **So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review, Would You Kindly?**

 **And enjoy the good ol' potential previews!**

 **They're rough atm, so don't think too much of them!**

 **Please bear in mind that they're just POTENTIAL outcomes.**

 **Nothing's solid yet, so as always there's plenty of room for change. No flak please~!**

 **They're just scenarios that COULD happen.**

 **There are a lot for a REASON, ya know.**

 **Tell me which ones you like!**

 **Enjoy~!**

 **We've also got a few deaths coming up soon!**

 **(Previews)**

 _"I am destruction."_

 _Much to her consternation, the blond tilted his head._

 _"Hi, destruction. I'm Naruto." Pearly white teeth flashed in a rueful grin. "Nice ta meetcha."_

 _For all her severity, a crack etched itself in the woman's stony facade, a faint fracture breaking through those eyes of flint._

* * *

 _"Naruto...you're scaring me."_

 _His head snapped up and Rin caught a flash of crimson._

 _"Funny you should mention that. I'm downright terrified myself."_

* * *

 _Caster clicked his teeth in annoyance._

 _"It pains me to do this, kid. It really does. But you're in the way. Last chance. Move or I make you."_

 _"No! I won't back down-_

 ** _"Then fall._**

 _Shirou opened his mouth to reply; only to grunt as a clenched fist sheathed itself in his stomach with blinding speed. It would've been easy to turn that arm into a point. To pierce his stomach. Yet he didn't. Instead breath burst from the boys lungs and he bent double in an explosive gasp. Twin palms clapped over his ears, deafening him. Even as he turned to face the enigmatic servant, another hand blitzed into the side of his head to render his world black._

 _Reeling, eyes rolling in his head, he collapsed._

 _The last he heard was a bitter growl._

 _Rather, he saw his lips move:_

 _"Sweet dreams, hero."_

* * *

 _"DYNAMIC ENTRY!"_

 _Archer looked up._

 _Saw the boot._

 _Too late._

 _"Shit!"_

 ** _R &R~!_**

 ** _=D_**


	7. Put A Spell On You

**A/N: Hope you're all having a good holiday~!**

 **Consider this massive chapter a little presents, of sorts.**

 **WARNING!**

 **This chapter has a lot of heart, a LOT of dialogue and character death.**

 **Considering who kicks the bucket, I'm fairly certain you won't be complaining.**

 **You should probably read this Author's Note, else you'll miss out on some vital information.**

 **Oh, and my tooth hasn't been pulled. Turns out it got delayed. -_- PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!** **NopenopenopenopeNOPE! DO NOT WANT!** **Once I finally get it done I should be free and clear..** **.for awhile at least.** **But no time off for me, gotta get right back into the thick of things at work. Eh, but enough about me.**

 **As ever:**

 **I!**

 **OWN!**

 **NOTHING~!**

 **Disclaimer: I own NOTHING related to BlazingAzureCrow, TFS, or other media. They're a massive inspiration!**

 **I feel I should mention that I've changed the title of "Ghost of Seraph" into "A Most Unlikely Rider". It just works better. I've also renamed this "A Most Unlikely Caster" as well. Damn, it just has a nice ring to it.**

 **On another note I may be working on a WILD crossover involving multiple characters from different media being summoned in the different classes. To get a better idea of what I'm up to, may I kindly direct your attention to "** **Fate: Zero Sense" by the Infamous Man."**

 **That sort of thing, for instance, but on an a different scale.**

 **For example! Lets say I HYPOTHETICALLY decide to set it n the Fate Zero realm.**

 **That or Fate Stay Night, because Apocyrpha would be absolute MADNESS.**

 **The roster-which is uncertain-could easily be thus:**

 **Berserker could be...I dunno...ALL MIGHT from My Hero Academia. Or Escanor from Seven Deadly Sins. Hell, even good 'ol Kratos could easily fit the bill. Bit of a tossup there. Akame from Akame ga Kill as Assassin. Alucard (the Hellsing TFS version, mind you!) as Archer. Ainz Ooal Gown-Overlord of course!-as Caster. Lancer? Whitebeard from One Piece. So on and so forth. You get the gist. I'd still want to keep Artoria as Saber in homage, but everyone else would be, quite literally, free game.**

 **See where I'm going with this?**

 **Ideas and suggestions are more than welcome~!**

 **Seriously though, because I can't think of a proper Rider that isn't Gurren Lagan or Gundam...Power Rangers? Hmm...no, I don't think so...**

 **Now, onto your questions!**

 **Q: SO MANY FATE STORIES! Are they connected? Can we get a list, please?!**

 **A: Right, lets fix this and name the titles to make it less confusing and what they cover:**

 **A Most Unlikely Caster-Formerly A Ninja's War/Fate Stay Night(And its many MANY Routes)**

 **A King's Whim-may be renamed A Most Unlikely Master/Takes place in Naruto's world.**

 **A Most Unlikely Rider-Formerly Ghosts of Seraph/Fate Extra, CCC, Extella, Link.**

 **A Most Unlikely Berserker/Fate Apocrypha...and potentially others.**

 **A Most Unlikely Assassin/Fate Zero.**

 _A Most Unlikely Archer/Not written._

 _A Most Unlikely Saber/Not written._

 _A Most Unlikely Lancer/Not written._

 _A Most Unlikely Ruler/Not written._

 _A Most Unlikely Avenger/Not written._

 **It goes on and on.**

 **Anything in italics is HYPOTHETICAL at best, seeing as it would be bloody hard to squeeze Naruto into those classes. Don't even get me started on the lesser known classes. Nope! We'll be here all day if that happens.** **Furthermore n** **one of the above are connected...yet. Each is simply a case of Naruto being summoned in different realms, as a different class. Right now, A Most Unlikely Berserker is BY FAR the most popular, for good reason!**

 **Then we have the silly crack stories, Not My Grail/Fate Zero and Not My Chaldea/Fate Grand Order. Not My Seraph is still being written and is slated for late 2019. These three are far and away less serious and not to be taken too seriously.**

 **Now for the others.**

 **Naruto wielded a sword briefly in an obscure video game that WE DO NOT SPEAK of. It was a god awful game on the Wii and I couldn't get through it. He's never wielded a lance in his life, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. Avenger would only work if he literally went dark. Not likely. Archer only works if he spams his mobile jutsu.**

 **There, question answered!**

 **Q: How did Luvia summon Archer?**

 **A: I've explained this already, Archer CAN be summoned without Rins' bloody pendant. Its just more of a guarantee if she does. And Rin did NOT use the pendant this time around. It mysteriously went "missing" around the time of the summoning.**

 **Gee, I wonder what happened to it...?**

 **Q: Why is Luvia even in the war?**

 **A: The grail chooses the Masters. As Medea was never summoned in this route, a spot was left open. But if that's not enough for you, Luvia pops up this chapter. Its also hinted that she and Rin HAVE met before the war, for those who care to know. Its always fun to see them going after each other.**

 **Q: Master list please, senpai!**

 **A:** **Aw, you're making me blush! Here you are:**

 **Rin: Caster/Naruto, Lancer/Brynhildr.**

 **Kotomine: Archer/Gilgamesh.**

 **Shirou: Saber/Artoria Alter.**

 **Illya: Berserker/Heracles.**

 **Luvia: Archer/EMIYA.**

 **Bazett: Lancer/Cu.**

 **Zouken: Assassin.**

 **Shinji: Rider.**

 **More Servants may well arrive, considering just how much he's pissed of the Grail/Angra Mainyu in this incarnation. Avenger DOES NOT take kindly to being slighted as we've seen with Kiritsugu and you can bet it'll go to great lengths to stymie Naruto and co. in any way that it can.**

 **Whether said efforts backfire is another matter entirely.**

 **Q: Feels like you've been jumping around a lot in this story. Why?**

 **A: 'Tis deliberate, my good man! The Fate series does that FAR more on a whole than I, so worry not. Its all part of the plan. But if makes you feel better, I shall endeavor to make the scene transitions smoother.**

 **Q: What route are we in here?**

 **A: Hmm? I thought I made that one obvious. We are clearly in the %$$% route which means #*%^ is going to #$^^% and such...**

 **...I regret nothing.**

 **Q: How strong is Saber Alter?**

 **A: Recall that she DESTROYED Heracles in a one-on-one fight. Yeah, there you go. She won't go down quietly.**

 **Q: Is the reserve system of the Grail active? Did Naruto just accidentally trigger an Apocrypha?**

 **A: *whistles innocently***

 **Now then away we go!**

 **Oh, and a reward for the first handful to name the song this title references in your review!**

 **Kudos to CrossyCross and "Nerve Damage" for giving me the idea about the corrupted grail being the way it is. Seriously, you think MY stories are nuts? Give his a look! You'll laugh your ass off and enjoy some incredible fight scenes.**

 _"Naruto?"_

 _"Yes, my Master?"_

 _"This is an order. Exterminate them with EXTREME prejudice."_

 _...ha! I knew there was a reason I took a liking to you! You're the best!"_

 _~Rin and Caster._

 **Put A Spell On You**

 _Avenger raged._

 _Well, in as much as a semi-sentient wish granting device could rage._

 _Tattered thoughts clamored against the viscous veil that prevented its birth, clamoring for purchase and finding none. Still Angra Mainyu railed against the shackles holding it down._ _It knew on some level that it had been bested; that someone had managed to twist the system to their advantage._ _It saw into this one's heart and recoiled at the kindness there. Disgusting._

 _Too easy._

 _One Master._

 _Two Servants._

 _With little bloodshed..._

 ** _...THIS WAS UNACCEPTABLE!_**

 _There must be chaos!_ _Carnage!_ _Slaughter!_ _Devastation! There could be no war without such atrocity!_ _He dared usurp it?!_ _A thousand curses upon him! It would sooner drown itself in blackened mud than make way for an interloper like this; least of all one who professed such...kindness. The mere notion of such sentiment made Avenger ill._

 _There must be a way to circumvent this._

 _To hinder him, somehow._

 _Weaken him._

 _But how?_

 _Alliances between magi were folly; in this day and age they trusted no one but themselves. Forced cooperation was out of the question. They had to CHOOSE to work together or not at all. Another plan was needed, one that could deter this new player in the war. One that would make him give up, or better yet, slay him entirely._

 _Perhaps..._

 _The time of summoning was long since past, and though it was too late to select additional masters, another avenue presented itself. An old, forgotten one, one left untraveled. The reserve system. If manipulated properly it could forgo the notion of "teams" entirely, and instead focus solely upon the meddler. It had never thought to undertake such a task in past wars, for there had simply been no need and would require it to bear distasteful burdens, but..._

 _...yes. Yes, that would work._

 _After so many failed Grail wars, it possessed more than enough energy for such an undertaking._

 _But first..._

 _...a new Caster was required._

 _It would see the interloper burn._

 _Thus, in its fury, Angra Mainyu hatched a plan._

 _And in doing so the face of the War shifted once more._

* * *

 ** _(...0o0o0...)_**

* * *

 _"I smell a Servant."_

Such simple statement, yet it sent chills racing down Rin's spine all the same. Her first instinct was to come about on the spot; to risk a glance over her shoulder in an attempt to find their unseen foe. It was only Caster's firm hand on her back that spurred her forward and prevented her from doing so. Supple fingers pressed against her spine, gentle, but more than firm enough to prod her back into motion. Walking suddenly proved itself an act of conscious will on her part; now that she was aware of the interloper her senses were on full alert.

Baffled, she dared a glance up at her Servant, only to find his piercing blue eyes locked firmly on the tree-strewn path ahead of them.

"Where?" she whispered.

"Behind us. Don't look back," he murmured through their connection.

A sudden breeze ripped through the branches above, producing a mournful howl.

"That's strange." the blond cocked his head, considering. "They're not attacking...yet."

"You're sure its a Servant?" Rin posited.

Golden sage eyes gleamed down at her, framed by a small, sad smile as they walked.

"A glass cannon I may well be, but I'm unparalleled when it comes to this sort of thing." he soothed, though those eyes of flint never wavered. "Speaking of cannons, cover your ears."

Rin caught his free hand rising out of the corner of her eye; that was all the warning she needed.

Her palms moved swiftly, clamping down over either side of her head to no avail.

Even with her senses muffled the keening howl of Caster's penultimate technique almost rendered her deaf on the spot. It swelled rapidly in his grasp, a blazing blue sphere that threatened to engulf everything. Strands of wind wrapped around his arm, twisting a fell aura across the growling spiral clutched in his hand. Taking his palm from her back, her Servant pressed his hand against the seething mass of light and began compressing it intently.

At this range the _Rasenshuriken_ was a thing of deadly beauty, tiny to behold, but terrible all the same.

"Hmm," Naruto's muted voice rang across her senses, "This'll do."

Then he tossed it.

"Wait, what?"

It was such a contemptuous throw that Rin almost guffawed openly; rather than launch it at his foe as he was often wont to do, Caster merely flicked it over his shoulder and into the woods behind them. He didn't even deign to glance back as it sailed harmlessly into the trees with a soft, almost musical note. Nothing changed. Crickets continued chirping, the breeze didn't abate in the slightest. For his part, Naruto simply kept walking, thereby forcing Rin to follow or be left behind altogether.

"I...you...that didn't do anything, Caster!"

"Wait for it." he hummed.

A heartbeat passed.

Then another.

Another still.

 _Another._

Finally, a startled, almost familiar squawk arose behind them. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!"

How odd. It almost sounded like that Matou brat.

That would be _just_ her luck-

 _THOOM._

The world burned white without warning, forcing Rin to fling up an arm before her face lest she loose her sight altogether.

Deprived of the dampening she'd employed, the keening shriek of countless minuscule blades rose as one; a wild chorus of destruction that spared neither bark nor bone nor the earth itself. Like the wails of the damned, so too did the rising attack encompass everything, swallowing all in the targeted area. Shinji or not, anyone who'd met that attack head on would die. Heracles himself had nearly fallen to it, living on only through virtue of his unique Noble Phantasm. The only recourse to evade it entirely; even a glancing blow would maim one horribly.

As such, when the dust cleared, when the smoke finally settled and the aftermath of Caster's attack became clear, she found herself at something of a loss.

Scorched earth.

Nothing else could measure up to it.

All that remained of the impact zone was a tortured indent in the ground; indeed, blackened soil and upturned earth stretched as far as the eye could see. Such a condensed attack hadn't even pulled all that hard from her reserves at that, which only proved all the more chilling. Surely it would be another matter if he began firing them off en-masse, but the fact remained...

 _...he's a nuke.'_ Frazzled, Rin could barely fathom the thought. _'I've got a walking nuke for a Servant..._

"Hmm." Caster slid down into the ruined crater, scenting the air with quiet regard. "That's really...odd. I can't sense anyone now...did I actually kill them with that?"

His tone put paid to those words.

Inspecting his handiwork he began sifting through the debris with his staff. After a tentative moment of hesitation, Rin joined them. Tattered soil shifted restlessly beneath her feet, causing the blackette to stumble slightly before she managed to reclaim her footing. Caster offered a steadying arm and she clung to it for the merest of moments before righting herself. At first she didn't expect to find anything beyond ashes. Instead a glimmer of crimson caught her eye. Naruto's as well, judging by his reaction.

Blood.

Severed strands of blue hair.

And beyond that...a ghastly offering.

Despite her best efforts, Rin felt her stomach shift queasily when she saw the arm.

Clad in the familiar brown sleeve of their school uniform, the mangled limb was only barely recognizable as such. Those ugly strands coupled with the arm only confirmed her suspicions. Oddly enough, it also set her heart at ease. For all her bravado and bluster she did not...relish the idea of facing Sakura. To kill her own sibling-no, she ruthlessly reminded herself. Not sisters. Not anymore.

For better or worse it seemed Shinji Matou was involved in this war.

Well, at least she wouldn't feel bad about killing _him._

"Whomever they are, they've got a competent Servant; they knew better than to take that attack head on." Naruto declared, grinding the limb to charred dust underfoot. "Still, their Master won't live long without medical treatment. Even if they do, an arm isn't something lost lightly." A hand fell, plucking a stray strand of violet hair. "Wonder who they summoned...Rider, maybe?"

Rin's keen mind lunged to the fore before she could think twice.

"Its probably Shinji."

Caster favored her with an odd look.

"You say that name as if I should know it? Is he dangerous?"

Disbelieving laughter burst out of her. "Dangerous? Shinji? Try annoying."

Her companion waited patiently, and she leaped at the opportunity to continue.

"Frankly I didn't even realize he was a part of the war; I should've expected it, considering he's part of the Matou clan...

"Is he a good person?" Caster asked suddenly.

"I...beg your pardon?" Rin blinked, momentarily taken aback. "Why does that have any bearing on our conversation?"

"Is he. A good. Person." the blond repeated, leaning towards her, his face dominating her vision. "Its a simple question. I'd like a simple answer."

Those piercing azure orbs told her all she needed to know; there would be consequences should she lie to him. Not that she had any reason to. Shinji...no, there was no love lost between her and that vile piece of filth. No, she'd be doing the world-and hopefully Sakura-a favor by setting Caster on him. From what she'd seen of his history-and glimpsed in a particularly poignant dream-he wasn't the sort to tolerate someone like that...

"No." There. She'd said. For better or worse, she'd finally opened that door. "He isn't."

"Oh." just like that, his sunny disposition returned. "Good. Continue, master."

...so why did she feel as though she'd just made a horrible mistake?

"Rin?"

"No," the blackette shook her head. "Its nothing. As far as Servants go, we know Matou doesn't have a Berserker." she pondered, touching a finger to her chin in thought. "Theoretically it shouldn't be Caster either, since _you_ already fulfilled that role. You've obviously given him a mortal wound, so he might not even be a threat anymore." A frightening thought occurred to her in that fell moment, and she turned bright eyes on her Servant, a dangerous smile twitching at the corners of her mouth. "Then again, we can't be certain of anything since _someone_ tried to break Heaven's Feel."

Naruto whistled innocently.

"I have no recollection of such an event~!"

Exasperated, she blew a stray strand of hair from her eyes to hide her concern.

"You're ridiculously overpowered, you know that? Do you even _have_ any weaknesses at all?"

A flicker of _something_ flashed through the warrior's whiskered visage. "All too many, Master. All too many."

That was...slightly concerning. Still, the most important question yet remained. "You're not going to chase after them, then?"

 _POOF._

Flying in the face of that very statement, the blond summoned a smirking clone to his side. Said clone took in the destruction with a quizzical look.

"Yeah, boss? Need somethin'?"

"Right, I've given you enough chakra to take a solid hit or two. Go track down our wayward Master and see if he's still alive. Kill him, if you can." Caster declared, perfectly aware of Rin's initial dismay. "There's a reward in it for you if you make it back in one piece."

The copy stiffened, bright eyes gleaming.

"What kind of reward?"

Naruto blinked, somewhat taken aback by the response. She could tell at once that he'd spoken in jest; he hadn't expected the copy to actually _bite._

"Erm...what exactly do you want?"

...can I go for a walk?" it posited hopefully.

Master and Servant exchanged a dumbfounded glance.

"Oi. You can't be serious." the latter openly balked. "That's it?"

"Yup!"

At a loss for a witty retort, the blond drooped.

"Fine." he waved. "Off with you, then."

"Sweet~!"

With a jovial salute the copy did as it was bade; pausing just long enough to catch the trail before departing in a burst of speed. Despite herself, Rin flinched. Sometimes she forgot just how damn _lifelike_ they could be. A solid copy had already taken a dip on her reserves. If he ever decided to simply spam them outright, her circuits might not be able to take it. Forget that, she wasn't sure her _mind_ could handle that many Casters running around Fuyuki. He'd probably drive half the city mad.

"What?" the object of her affections frowned.

"Nothing, just ruthless of you." Rin amended. "I...honestly expected you to do go yourself."

Now it was her Servant's turn to recoil.

"Hey! I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I'm not an idiot either. A clone is more than enough for a little reconnaissance." When his reply didn't satisfy her, he raised a hand to ward off an argument. "Look, no one's going to stab you in the back while I'm around. Ya have my word. Can't win if you die, remember?"

...fair enough."

With those words, the once-oppressive air around them grew slightly less stifling and the Tohsaka heiress stole a glance forward. Although she could clearly glimpsed the peak of church on the hill above, it suddenly felt miles away. Indeed, the road to the chapel was a winding one through the woods and would lead them through the thick of it yet. Doubtlessly that irritating priest awaited them within. He might even prevent attacks on the grounds that they went against the organization. But here? This far away? His intervention was about as likely as the sun rising in the west and setting in the east.

In the end there was nothing to be done for it but to resume their trek toward the church.

Unease spurred her to speak once again as they climbed out of the crater.

"Even if its Assassin?" she murmured.

"ESPECIALLY Assassin." a rare note of pride entered her companion's voice. "I can sense ill intent a mile away. Anyone aiming for your back will be in for a nasty surprise." for all his concern, a sunny smile still flashed out at her. "Trust me, Rin. Whomever they are, they won't get the drop on us."

Heat rose to her cheeks in the form of a fierce flush.

"W-Well! Its good to know you're capable!"

There was something... _disarming_ about Caster-Naruto, she reminded herself. Though he might infuriate her at times and drive her to madness at others, there could be no doubting his intentions. His was a gentle soul, a strange being who seemed content with his lot in life. Not only that, but he'd remained loyal to her. In spite of the ups and downs. Anyone willing to throw themselves between her and a ten-ton mountain of sheer muscle and death was downright _tolerable_ in her book.

It almost made her wonder what would have transpired if a certain _someone_ hadn't made off with her pendant.

All things considered, this was an acceptable trade. Now she had two Servants, impossibly.

The thought of what could have been quickened in her blood.

Would Naruto still answer her summons?

Would she have Saber or...?

At the time she'd thought Caster a poor choice for her; given that his class was supposed to be squishy at best and a literal _sink_ for her prana at worst. Yet despite that he'd proven himself capable of remarkable restraint for the most part. Perhaps he was simply drawing from his own reserves to mitigate the energy he'd taken from her. His Noble Phantasm might be _stupidly broken_ but she remained confident in its ability to take down any Servant short of Saber. Moreover for all his...quirks...he still stood by her side indeed. What, indeed.

Perhaps mistaking her silence for fear, Caster's hand descended, tousling her hair affectionately.

"Relax, little squirrel. You're safe. I won't let them hurt you."

 _Aaaaaand_ just like that, mood ruined.

Rin absolutely hissed.

"Little-?!"

Her heel shot up with surprising force and collided with his shin. Unfortunately she'd underestimated him. Rather than a startled squawk the blond merely arched an insufferable eyebrow. It was like striking metal-no, that was broad a term. She'd just kicked tempered steel intricately folded upon itself through thousands of years. In short?

Pain.

 _"Holycrapwhatareyoumadeof?!"_

"Well, I DID warn you earlier Master...

Warm laughter greeted Rin's short-lived assault as she stumbled away, clutching at her bruised foot. Shame flooded her cheeks as she hopped in place, unable to do anything more than glower at her Servant. Honestly, if weren't for that smile of his she might've socked him again out of spite. She was still considering it when Caster approached her and bent the knee.

Gentle hands alighted upon her calves, carefully easing her to the ground even as she struggled to balance upon one leg.

' _Eh?'_

Rin turned incandescent.

"W-Wait a second, you dolt! What are you doing?!"

"Oh dear, I think you might've actually bruised yourself there...

She wasn't ready for this yet! Absolutely not! Not in a million years!

"Hush. I'm not going to hurt you." he snapped. "Why do you magi always fear what you don't understand?"

"I understand plenty!" The blackette retorted waspishly, heedless of the blond's baffled expression. "Watch where your putting those hands!"

Careful palms glided along the length of her thigh with practiced precision, flaming the sparks of her embarrassment to a feverish degree...alongside another sentiment Rin daren't quantify. Some small silent sliver of her soul was inordinately pleased by such attention. If she was entirely honest with herself-which she most assuredly was NOT-she enjoyed being fussed over. Certainly by someone so...capable.

Not that she'd ever admit it to Caster.

Bastard would be downright _insufferable_ if she did.

As she looked on he performed another myriad miracle she didn't understand; faint green light stemmed forth from his flesh to undo the damage she'd done to herself. Flowing across the limb, it eased the searing pain to a throbbing ache, followed by a twinge, and soon nothing at all. Satisfied with his work, Caster allowed her to stand, guiding her back to her feet. His hand lingered in hers a touch longer than necessary, fingers brushing her wrist as he rose back to his full towering height.

"Right, then." Naruto declared. "I think that's enough excitement for one day-

In the end, whatever he had left to say ultimately went unfinished.

A hand snapped up and their world became _light._

 _"Get down!"_

* * *

 **(...0o0o0...)**

* * *

It wasn't fair.

No, not in the least.

 _None of this was fair at all!_

Despite his anger, for all his rage against those whom he believed to have wronged him, Shinji Matou was powerless in the face of death. Each shuffling step brought him closer to his ultimate end, every movement sent splinters of silent agony shooting down his spine. Trees rose and twisted around him in an endless maze, their branches reaching out to embrace him with dead fingers. The boy scarcely noticed them, such was his agony, all the world a red haze around him. No, he was all too focused on the keen agony dominating his right side. Rider certainly wasn't going out of her way to help him with that.

His arm.

His arm, his arm, HIS! ARM!

That bastard! The absolute bastard! He'd get his revenge on him if it was the last thing he did! Somehow, someway!

With each passing second his strength seeped from him; sloughed off him like so much dead skin. It took all he had merely to spur his battered body forward. Whereas once he had fled the battlefield at a dead spring, now he limped. Whimpered. Crawled.

"This can't be happening, it can't be...

Words tumbled out of him in an endless mantra as he stumbled onward.

He was no fool-he'd bleed to death soon if he didn't wrap the wound soon. But in his battered state-with one arm no less-he was simply unable to do so in any meaningful fashion. It was this damn Servant of his! Filthy familiar! If she'd just unleashed her Noble Phantasm like he'd _told_ her to, none of this would've happened in the first place! Instead he found himself crippled, the book grandfather had given him all but lost in the chaos of his frantic flight. Without it, he wouldn't be able to command Rider for much longer, if at all-no! In his delusion, he rejected the truth. She was still his!

That damn Tohsaka!

Yes, this was all _her_ fault!

Not his! None if of it was his!

"Tch!" he snarled. "You're all useless!"

It had all been going so well too; he'd found her by sheer chance and decided to follow her on a whim. She'd always rejected him; he'd seen it as his chance to exact some well-deserved revenge. An ambush would've taken her out of the war and satisfied his ego in one fell stroke. Her Servant was clearly a Caster, which meant he'd be no match for his Rider in a fair fight-not that Shinji intended to fight fair to begin with. He'd believed-perhaps foolishly-that his Servant would be able to contend with that one. Meanwhile, Tohsaka would still be reeling from the initial attack, and horribly wounded at that.

First he'd cripple her, yes, take his sweet time with her as he repaid ever indignity she'd ever inflicted on him...

Then said Servant tossed _death_ at them.

Blind bloody luck had saved him from death, but not his arm.

The thought sent a fresh paroxysm of agony through his arm; it was here that his body finally gave out. Shinji was not a magus. In that aspect he was spectacularly...average. He lacked the ability to properly supply his servant with Prana, and thus had to rely on unconventional means. As such, it came as no surprise when his legs finally betrayed him. Caught on a twisted rooted, the blue-haired boy stumbled and fell. He tried to rise, only to find that he lacked the strength to manage even that.

Slumping against a fallen tree, he stretched out trembling fingers towards his still-stoic Servant.

"What the hell are you doing, Rider?!" he snarled. "Hurry up! Get me home! I'm dying!"

Rather than reply, the silent warrior turned her head, gazing well past him.

 _"Yes,"_ a new voice rumbled across his senses. _"You certainly are."_

A shadow fell over him, blotting out the waning moonlight.

Somehow, Shinji knew what he would find there.

Despite this, he looked up anyway.

Blue eyes blazed back at him.

"Shinji Matou, I presume?"

"Yeah? What's it _-hyeek!"_

Caster gazed down at him, his whiskered visage the picture of serenity. Back hunched, azure orbs mere inches from his own. The sight of that sly smile shattered Shinji's very soul. Perhaps he would've taken some solace in knowing that this was not the original but a clone, a mere facsimile of the original. Perhaps not. Regardless of this unique facet of his personality, the battered boy still found himself rendered effectively mute by the sly visage of the Servant looming before him.

"Cat got your tongue?" Straightening up, the Servant cocked his head inquisitively. "Suppose that's to be expected."

To his flank, Shinji could heard Rider moving, no doubt to defend him-

Never taking his gaze from him, "Caster" flung up a palm.

"You stay out of this! _ **Shinra Tensei!"**_

Somehow, Medusa managed to defend herself at the last instant. Even then her speed availed her not. Twin arms crossed before her visage just as an invisible wall of wrath barreled into her body, batting her aside as though she weighed no more than a mere child. Flung away, her back crashed against countess trees, sending the ancient oaks toppling to the ground.

Caster didn't deign to survey his handiwork.

He simply wasn't interested in it.

Instead, he struck _Shinji._

An open palm cracked across Matou's face like a steel bat, breaking his nose. Ground burst before his upturned visage like a rotten bomb, leaving the potent sludge of his own blood to fill his mouth. Even as he struggled to turn a booted foot collided with his jaw, fracturing it horribly. His arm throbbed anew, joining the agony pervading his body in a ghastly chorus.

Shinji backpedaled like a drunken crab, frantically trying-and failing-to put some much-needed distant between him and the man trying to kill him.

"Wait! No! Stop! You're not supposed to kill me! You have to fight my Servant!"

In mockery of that very statement, "Caster" laughed and struck him with his staff, driving its blunt edge into the boy's stomach. A broken gurgle fled from his mouth, only to be stifled as he discarded that very staff and pounced upon him. Twin hands closed around either sides of his head. The outcome was obvious. Already he felt thick ligaments tearing in his neck, his neck wrenching painfully. No. This couldn't be happening. He wasn't meant to die here! This wasn't his fate! It couldn't be! No, no, no! NO!

The poor boy squealed like a struck pig.

"R-R-Rider! Help me!"

She nearly did.

Masked eyes swept over him with quiet intensity, taking in his grievous wounds as she climbed back to her feet and approached; observing the puddle of blood even now pooling beneath him. In that moment, something crystallized in her hidden gaze. Her back straightened, a small smile blooming on her otherwise pallid features. Something about it filled Shinji with dread. Somewhere behind that blindfold, a realization had taken place. Her once-tense posture slackened; the deadly nail clutched tight in her hand drooped away to sway loosely at her side.

...no."

Thin eyes bulged spectacularly.

"What do you mean, no?! I'm your Master!"

"What, really?" Caster scoffed aloud. "Well. That simplifies things."

"Rider?!" the word burst out of him in a forlorn wail, devoid of hope. _"Please!"_

"Sh." Caster hissed in his ear; the words were soft, almost soothing. "Don't struggle. Just let go...

Here in his last moments, Shinji couldn't accept just how spectacularly he'd failed. He could only curse others as he choked on his own bile. Gibberish burst from his lips as he clawed at the hands holding him, to no avail, for no man or magus could ever hope to overpower a Servant. Foam flecked at the corners of his mouth. Eyes rolled back into his head. This...this was _death._ He felt its cold fingers upon him, sampling his soul and finding it wanting. There would be no escape from this In the distance he thought he beheld an explosion of blue light, but his oxygen-deprived brain couldn't quantify it. Trembling fingers stretched out toward the moon, a scarlet beacon in his mind's eye.

 _'Sakura..._

In the end, ironically, his thoughts were with his sister.

Strong fingers tightened around his throat.

Something shattered.

 _Blackness._

Medusa felt nothing when his corpse finally fell from Caster's grasp; nothing, as that crimson cadaver dropped like a stone. Wait. She lied. _Relief._ To be rid of Shinji was a blessing beyond measure. With him gone she could return to her true Master. Sakura might well loathe the Holy Grail war, but she was a sight better than Shinji had been. No, he wouldn't be missed. However...

"Well, that was an ugly bit of business."

...there was still the matter of Caster standing before her.

Considering the corpse, her fellow Servant turned his head and spat upon the soil.

She almost expected him to attack on principle. To mock her, if nothing else. They were at war and-as far as Caster knew-he'd just killed her Master. To miss this opportunity would've been foolish indeed. Any Servant worth there salt would've taken a moment to savor what they no doubt perceived to be a victory. Yet rather than any of this or that, the blond simply raised his staff in a faux salute and bowed, one warrior to another. Even then Rider's back tensed, expecting an assault at any moment.

It never came.

"You know," the young man offered a sheepish sigh, "I feel kinda bad about all this. We never got a chance to fight and I just screwed you out of your wish. Sorry about that. I'll try to remember you." Three swift strides carried him past her without further comment.

"Later~!"

As that broad back retreated, something shifted in her heart.

"You do not wish to fight me?"

Golden eyes turned back towards her in silent confusion.

"What's the point?" he posited. "You're just going to disappear in a bit. I _could_ give you one last brawl if that's what you want, but...wait...just a minute...!"

He stiffened.

Medusa didn't respond.

Realization dawned in those amber orbs.

Of course he'd sense the sudden surge of prana within her; not in preparation of attack, but renewal. With Shinji gone, Sakura was once more free to supply her with all the energy she needed. Casters were particularly sensitive so such things. There wasn't anger in the clone's gaze as she'd expected...no, one might even call it...excitement? The realization that she was suddenly far more dangerous to him _now_ than she'd been mere moments ago did little to shake his resolve. Nay, it only emboldened the doppelganger inflamed the dying sparks of his curiosity to a feverish degree.

"Oh." he gaped at her, momentarily agog to see what she might do. "Well, seems I've blundered then, haven't I?"

Right. Now or never, then.

Rider bowed her head.

"Please...help me."

Naruto blinked.

 **"What."**

 _Now_ there was anger, confusion, overlaid by a hint of skepticism. He didn't lower his staff, but neither did he make any move to attack. Nor did he retreat. She had no doubt that if he _truly_ wanted to escape, she wouldn't be able to stop him. Even if it meant sacrificing her pride. She had to do this. Not for her sake, but Sakura. Yes. Sakura. She was the only one who mattered. This was her best-and only!-chance to negotiate with the enigmatic Caster. If he could be trusted. If Assassin had spoken true back then. If he hadn't attempted to deceive her. If. So many ifs...

The clone considered her plea.

"Sure, I've got chakra to burn. Go ahead."

Well. _That_ certainly simplified things, didn't it...?

If he betrayed her, she would stab him through the heart. So she swore.

With some dangerously akin to hope, Rider laid out the terms of her proposal.

* * *

 **(...0o0o0...)**

* * *

 _'What in the world...?'_

Through ringing ears and half-blinded eyes Rin struggled to make sense of what had just transpired, to no avail. She failed horribly, scarcely able to see, much less hear. But she could still feel. A tiny vague part of her was aware of that much. She was being carried. Not slung over someone's shoulder as one might expect of a captive, but gently, as though her captor were afraid she might shatter. Strong arms held her fast, cradling her against a broad chest. How odd. This almost felt familiar.

A familiar scent pervaded her senses.

 _...in!"_

Caster?

Someone was shaking her but she couldn't hear them. Groaning, she batted their hands away. So tired. She just wanted to sleep. Yes, sleep sounded very good right about now-

 _...rry!"_

Taut fingers collided with her skull in a merciless chop and with a yelp, she burst upright.

Sense violently reasserted itself with _far_ less grace than she would've liked, causing her to shoot the culprit a dark glower.

"What was that for?!

"To wake you up." Her Servant replied glibly, feigning a chopping motion with his dominant hand. "You were taking too long."

...I swear, you're just _handcrafted_ to torment me."

Naruto beamed. "Love you too, Master~!"

"Stop that, you!"

Reluctantly turning her attention fro her all-too smug Servant, she risked a glance for her surroundings.

Whereas Caster's Rasenshuriken had certainly ravaged the ground, this one had all but _glassed_ it. Even now fires raged across the ruined earth, the heat of which caused her skin to prickle. It was, in a word, _hell._ Naruto hadn't taken the blow at all she realized, but rather glided out of the way entirely, allowing the searing bolt of black and blue to scorch past and ravage the world in its stead. For him to willingly evade an assault like that rather than take it head on as he was often wont to do...just what kind of Servant where they facing?

"That would've killed us both." A low hiss snaked through her ears. "Thank the log for luck...

She saw him pick up the shattered steel at her feet.

An arrow?

No, a sword that had been fired _like_ an arrow.

Wait.

How did she know that?

Raising the ruined shaft in his hand, Caster considered it for a long moment, watching it crumble away in his grasp. Slitted eyes narrowed upon the distant lights of the city, no doubt discerning some far-and-away threat she couldn't see. The crazed light that flitted through that hooded gaze just sent a fresh shudder shooting down her spine. Leveling the crumbling phantasm in his hand, he turned and cast it back in the direction from which it had came. Breath gathered in his lungs and emerged in the form of a shout:

"Only cowards fight from the shadows, Archer!"

 _"Ho?"_ an equally distant voice answered. _"I didn't think you'd be able to dodge that."_

"You just shot a fucking nuke arrow at my Master!" Caster snapped back. "An assassin you are not!"

The Command Spells etched into his palm pulsed menacingly and for a fleeting moment she wondered if he'd give into temptation and summon Brynhildr. Doing so now would irrevocably tip their hand. More than that, it would leave Illya and Berserker unprotected. Wait. When had she started to _care_ about the Einzbern master...?

"Perhaps I should just fire randomly into the city?" Caster offered.

He was bluffing, of course.

Naturally, the enemy didn't know that.

It was a bluff, meant to draw a response from the enemy Archer, if not their Mastet outright. In that alone, Naruto succeeded.

She sorely wished he hadn't.

"Ohohoho!" an infuriating giggle arose from the shadows, amplified by magecraft cast from a great height. "I think not! This isn't over! We'll meet again, Tohsaka!"

Rin bristled.

She knew that laugh.

It grated against her very _soul;_ a reminder of someone she'd rather forgot. A chance encounter abroad, one that warped a stray acquaintance into a bitter nemesis. It is said that opposites attract. Likes repel. By that odd saying alone, their relationship could be encapsulated in a single phrase. Of course, this did little to soothe Rin's temper at the moment. It all made sense now. Her missing pendant. She'd thought it strange that it would vanish on the eve of the war, but with _that one's_ presence her suspicions were all but confirmed. That wretched...little...burglar!

"Ohhh you have got to be kidding me! Why is _she_ here?! And now she's gone!"

Exasperated, she flung up her hands and cursed the heavens.

"Well, there's nothing we can do now, unless-

"And who decided that?"

Caster's tone sent a silent thrill through her heart.

 _ **"I decide such things!"**_

With a wordless gesture, the blond summoned a clone to his side. The doppelganger looked just as baffled as she felt. Perhaps moreso. Blue eyes blinked in mild consternation, searching the grounds for a foe and finding none to meet in battle. At last it turned back to the original with a somewhat petulant expression.

"Umm...boss?" confused, the creature tilted its head. "Did you need something?"

...yes."

Caster turned.

Rin knew that smile.

"Fly straight and true, my son."

The clone turned absolutely pallid.

Strong hands clasped its by the shoulders.

"Wait, wait, wait! Boss?! What are you _doiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing?!"_

Booted feet bit down into the soil and rooted there, cratering the earth.

With a triumphant roar, Naruto spun and launched the shrieking copy up into the city.

* * *

 **(...0o0o0...)**

* * *

 _"Well, that was foolish."_

Archer reluctantly lowered his bow and surveyed what he had wrought.

"Tch, where did she wander off to this time?"

The crimson-clad Servant cocked his head as a sudden-yet-distant noise pierced the silence of his reverie. A bird? No, that was absurd. Even if an owl had taken it into his head to fly this far into the city-let alone alighted on the rooftop he'd claimed as his perch-the chances of such an event were downright minuscule by comparison. Yet there was still a chance the enemy might've found him. Not only had he wasted Caladbolg on them, but he'd likely made them aware of his position in doing so. All on the orders of that exasperating girl. To think she'd waste a Command Spell on something like this...

He would've taken Rin any rather over this annoying wench and her damn laugh.

Honestly, how she'd gotten her hands on that pendant was beyond him.

Optimally he should move soon, despite his Master's...commands.

Again that faint sound pricked at his ears. Soft to be sure, but growing louder, swelling with each passing moment. That couldn't be a bird. Even the largest of eagles-not that he'd seen any since being summoned-weren't that loud. Whatever it was it was grating against his already frayed nerves, threatening to snap them altogether. A strange, nameless sense of dread pervaded his thoughts yet he couldn't find the source; on the contrary it only intensified as the seconds ticked relentlessly onward.

A cold sweat broke out on his brow.

Wild air roared in his ears.

"Alright, what _is_ that?"

Yes, the longer he listened, the more certain he became. His mind wasn't playing tricks on him. It couldn't be. Caster was leagues away from here. There was nothing he could do; even the finest of magecraft would risk exposing him to the city. True, Emiya's senses weren't the sharpest but he would've sensed another Servant approaching at least. Yet this strange palpation of dread didn't ease. If anything it was growing stronger, as if his sixth sense were shrieking at him, shrilling a warning for him to move-

 _"Iiiiiiinnnnnnncoooooooooooooommmmiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!"_

Aghast, Archer finally dared to turn his head.

Too late, he saw the orange missile.

"Are you kidding me?!"

It could certainly be spoken well of Emiya's skill that he managed to knock his weapon and get a shot in first.

Alas, his accuracy availed him not.

Rushing up towards him like an arrow launched from a bow, Caster's clone howled headlong into the face of his volley, stoically accepting the bolt even as it lodged against his enhanced flesh. Three arrows found their home in his body, shoulder, and torso, yet still it barreled upward.

Hmm.

There was a joke to be made somewhere in there, but he didn't have the time to utter it. Or even to curse his fortune for that matter. The clone was already upon him, its dismayed shout swelling in his ears, boot filling his vision. Spirits, this was going to hurt. Scratch that, it was going to hurt a lot. Wherever his little master had run off to was suddenly of far less concern than the impending doom about to rip him from his skybound perch and hurl him into the city. Archer grimaced. Really, this was _his_ fault. Rather than stand his ground, he should've dodged. So much for his vaunted pride...

...if he survived this, there was going to be hell to pay.

Frantic, he crossed both arms before his chest.

Far too little, and far too late.

 _Then there was pain._

 **A/N: Happy Holidays!**

 **Heh, this was a blast to write.**

 **Next chapter's going to be an absolute MONSTER.**

 **So let's clarify.**

 **Naruto killed Shinji. And THREW A CLONE at Archer. In the city. That's gotta hurt. He's also in the process of entering into an alliance with Rider.** **Really, its obvious who the Grail's "secondary" Caster is going to be. It might surprise some of you; its not who you think, all hints and previews aside.**

 **Although some may guess at her identity...think of it as a holiday tease.**

 **I REALLY wanted to write the Saber bit for this chapter, but it was getting to be way too damn long.**

 **How long you ask?**

 **SEVERAL THOUSAND WORDS.**

 **Well, this means you'll get another update soon, eh?**

 **Suffice it to say Naruto's meddling broke Heaven's Feel for the moment; to the point where the Grail itself is ACTIVELY trying to draw more blood for the slaughter. In drawing the Witch into the fray, it accidentally gave him more ammo. Turns out she's rather fond of the idea of a fellow Caster. Naturally, this'll tick off Angra even more.**

 **You think me mad?**

 **You think this is crazy?**

 **You ain't seen nuthin' yet.**

 **Really sick and tired of being...well, sick and tired. Pain is a near constant companion these days for one reason or another and its driving me MAD. Be it pain from my scars or from my teeth or other stuff, it can prove downright distracting. ESPECIALLY when I'm writing. So I do apologize for that. Hope you liked the chapter!**

 **So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review, Would You Kindly?**

 **And enjoy the good ol' potential previews!**

 **They're rough atm, so don't think too much of them!**

 **Please bear in mind that they're just POTENTIAL outcomes.**

 **Nothing's solid yet, so as always there's plenty of room for change. No flak please~!**

 **Tell me which ones you like!**

 **Homage where homage is due!**

 **First one may or may not be who you think.**

 **(Previews)**

 _"Sooooo...Sakura's in love with him? Cute."_

 _Rin bristled. "No. Caster, do NOT. Don't you dare."_

 _Naruto's once sly smile turned positively impish by comparison._

 _"What's the long face for, Rin? I'll have you know I'm a perfectly good matchmaker."  
_

 _"Name ONE couple you set up in your first life."_

 _...Imma do it anyway."_

 _"Don't you do it!"_

* * *

 _The shadow stirred, stretching out for him._

 _"Fine, then." Growling, he beckoned. "You want me so badly?! Come and get me!"_

* * *

 _"Again?" Bazette slapped her forehead. "This war is getting to be more trouble than its worth..._

 _As though waiting for that very moment Lancer uttered an explosive sneeze._

 _"Aw, what the hell? Who's talking about me behind my back again?!"_

 _"I don't know about your back...though its wide open. As usual."_

 _Wheeling on the_ _voice he brought his spear to bear..._

 _...and just as swiftly lowered it._

 _Crimson eyes bulged._

 _"Oh, fuck me." he whispered._

 _The newcomer smiled. "Is that an invitation?"_

* * *

 _"Fighting so recklessly...that's not like a Caster, Naruto! Someone's been influencing you! That last punch was weak!"_

 _Pain flashed across the blond's face, obliterating his right eye in a grisly red spray._ _In the same instant he spun and struck out with his dominant arm, delivering a bruising body-shot of his own._ _Honestly, it almost made Assassin proud. Despite the pain roaring through his liver he found himself smiling. Then that remaining orb snapped into gold and any admiration he might've felt became shock. Wild slitted eyes regarded him in the form of cross-shaped pupils, furious and swelling with untold wrath. Oh. That was new. He'd never seen the kid do that before._

 _A fist snapped back._

 _"That's because my back wasn't in it!"_

 _The next blow bowled Assassin clear off his feet altogether._

* * *

 _Archer frowned._

 _"Two Casters? Working together? Sorry Master, I'm not suicidal."_

 _"Why can't you take this seriously?!"_

 _"Because that's what you want. And I'm not going to give it to you."_

* * *

 _"Fool! Why would you give up your arm?!"_

 _...you're not familiar with my legend at all, are you?"_

 _Brandishing his staff, he golden light engulfed his center._

 _"You see...its when I'm wounded, when I'm truly desperate..._

 _With a thunderous cry, the heavens parted and light rained down._

 ** _...THAT I'M AT MY PEAK!"_**

* * *

 _A lone chant rose behind him, causing the Servant to turn._

 _"You dare...?"_

 _No, they realized with a start, watching the dust slowly clear. Not alone. Someone was there. Speaking with him. Propping him up. A woman. Tch. So that abominable fake wasn't dead yet-_

 _"I am the one who sacrificed everything, yet gained nothing."  
_

 _"I am the betrayed, she who was forsaken."_

 _Something in their voices sent a low chill racing down his spine. This sensation...was it fear? Absurd. How long had it been since he'd experienced this sensation? Magecraft was not a thing he feared, yet this chant, that low plume of darkness rising from the ruined wall, set his baser notions on a collision course with one another. His eyes bulged further still as chains burst forth from the soil itself, seizing his limbs._

 _They thought this would hold him? HIM?! Fools! He would shatter these chains in an-_

 _Still the chant rose higher, words-voices!-blending seamlessly into one._

 _"I embrace the world."_

 _"I reject the world."_

 _Light swelled before his vision as something took shape._

 _"Together."_

 _"As one."_

 ** _"BURN."_**

 ** _R &R~!_**

 ** _=D_**


	8. In Darkest Night

**A/N:** **Hope you're all having a good snow day~!**

 **Consider this massive chapter a little presents, of sorts.** **More to come soon!**

 **You should probably read this Author's Note, else you'll miss out on some vital information.** **Disclaimer: I own NOTHING related to BlazingAzureCrow, TFS, or other media. They're a massive inspiration!**

 **Again:**

 **I!**

 **OWN!**

 **NOTHING~!**

 **No quotes, no references, no fourth-wall breaks, NO-TH-ING!**

 **Now, onto your questions from far and wide!**

 **Fair warning, the first two are...**

 **...well...see for yourself.**

 **Q: You r shit. Your writing is shit. Your fans shit. Why you love writing this cringy character so much?**

 **A: Putting your...unique grammar aside, I don't love Naruto and he's far from my favorite. Would you believe that title actually falls to Fate and One Piece? It used to be Bleach, I even wrote it all the time, but well...after that disaster of a finale I'm not touching that series with a ten foot pole unless...certain circumstances are invoked.**

 **Nor do I write cringe.**

 **Yes, some of my stories are crack and meant to be silly. Others are outright bloody parodies. But even those have a cohesive foundation. I'll be the first to admit I'm not the best writer on this site. Far from it!**

 **That crown belongs to others far greater than my humble self.**

 **If you don't like a story my friend, then by all means move on. I can't force you to read my works. Nor will I give out your penname and allow others to attack you. Insult me all you like. I don't mind. I've been called far worse to my face in my day. But DO NOT attack innocent folks looking for a decent read. People come to this site to escape reality, to get away from the madness of this world and find a bit of solace. Since you seem so intent on taking that away, I've got one last thing to say to you, ye who shall-not-be named...**

 _ **Have a nice day~!**_

 **Q: This story covers way too fucking much. Are you a pansy or something, or just afraid to kill people anymore? I wanna see Servants die already. I want blood! Gore! Chaos! Nobody cares what the Masters think. Certainly not that bitch-tsundere Rin.**

 **A: Oi, really? I don't know what to say to that. I'm not going to have Naruto run roughshod over the entire cast! Its important to understand their motivations, how they tick, why they work the way that they do. Without that, their just words on paper. And I do not simply write words. I write characters. Arcs. Stories. For someone to tell me to cut down on the detail...well...at least Dark Shadow Raven was nice about his views and listed valid points in his critique, but you...meh. Can't please 'em all, I suppose.**

 **Q: Did you fix the issue we discussed? Reality Marbles...people can't have multiple of those, can they?**

 **A: Yes, I've been meaning to address that. Naruto doesn't have multiple Reality Marbles. Pretty sure that's not possible. My bad~!**

 **Q: SABER FIGHT WHEN?!**

 **A: Saber soon!**

 **Q: Is...Is Archer dead?**

 **A: No, but he's currently airborne and Lancer is laughing his ass off because of it. Naruto literally threw a solid clone at him. Also, Naruto can't simply absorb Servants. That'd be murderously OP.**

 **Q: Oh god. The shadow. We getting some Heavens Feel shit up in here? AND Unlimited Blade Works? You madman!**

 **A: Ah, flattery will get you everywhere~!**

 **Q: Zouken needs to die. Now. If he has his way a lot of people are going to suffer soon. ESPECIALLY with Shinji's death.**

 **If he's already summoned Assassin that means shit's about to hit the fan, no?**

 **A: Ah, but THIS Assassin is a stubborn one and just the sort to dig his heels in against the old man. Now if it were Hassan from the movie, shit would've gone south real quick by now. As it stands, if "Assassin" gets his way...the events of Heavens Feel may well be TAME by comparison. He means well of course, but you know what they say: "The road to hell is paved with good intentions."**

 **Of course, now that Rider's solicited Naruto's aid, he's starting to become aware of who and what Zouken truly is, if not just who Assassin may be...**

 **Q: Naruto's gonna meet Gilgamesh, isn't he?**

 **A: As of the opening scene here, Naruto is AWARE that Kirei's packing a Servant, but he doesn't know who he is. Only that he wants to keep Rin and Illya far, FAR away from him.**

 **Q: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Naruto just killed in cold blood! What's up with that?!**

 **A: He wants his wish. Are you seriously mourning Shinji? He's all but stated he won't kill Masters unless they're rotten sacks of shit. Shinji falls in this category. Zouken and Kirei? Definitely. Don't expect him to start mowing innocents down. That won't happen.**

 **Q: I'm surprised we haven't heard anything from Sakura.**

 **A: You're about to. And you might hate me for it, because now that she's in command of Rider again, Zouken will become more active.**

 **Q: Naruto playing matchmaker? God help us all...**

 **A: *cackles***

 **Q: Why haven't we seen much of Shirou in this story?**

 **A: You'll see him in this chapter. One, he doesn't have all that much to provide to Saber. As she's in her Alter form, its even more intensive. Remember, he hasn't bumped into Rin yet, ergo, no secondary source of prana to help him along. She's still powerful enough for a good fight or two before her natural reserves are depleted, so Servants beware. Furthermore, unlike her more noble counterpart, she's more than willing to devour souls if it means surviving.**

 **As it stands Shirou and Naruto are going to...have a disagreement, to say the least.**

 **Q: Don't do Lancer dirty. That's all I ask.**

 **A: Fear not, thanks to Naruto's unintentional interference, Kirei won't be getting his grimy hands on Bazett or her Command Spells. Now that the Grail's spinning up and becoming more active, he's actually going to play a pivotal role in the battles to come.**

 **Q: Can we get a hint of what's to come in this chapter?**

 **A: Ehhhhhh, why not? This quote encapsulates it:**

 _"Stab me again, Saber. I'M NOT DEAD YET!"_

 **Q: So. Extra Servants courtesy of a pissed off grail. Nice. So when do we get to see them? Later?**

 **A: Oh ho! But one of them shows up now!**

 **Q: Okay, this is going to sound odd and I know it has no place here on a Fate fic, but frankly, I'm too lazy to login so I'm posting this anonymously. You SAID you're taking requests and you SAID if you updated all your Dragon Age stuff within a month you'd speak some Orlesian for us. Well, you have and Lets hear it! FYI you can delete this once you're done.**

 **A: Well, in for a penny, in for a pound, I guess. A man must keep his promises.**

 ***ahem***

 **Ah do not know zees countray of which you speeeeek, for it eees filled with filthee dogs and mud! Like that?**

 **Q: Your "A Most Unlikely" stories are all connected, aren't they?**

 **A: Everything is connected, yes. A Most Unlikely Rider gave hints as to that, and so does this story. In short, its leading to a massive crossover story, but one that won't be published until I've put the finishing touches on the rest of my works.**

 **Thankfully my co-writer is helping me with that, wonderful girl that she is.**

 **Q: So...where is Bazette?**

 **A: She's in this chapter, and I've been forced to take some liberties with her, given we don't exactly see where she and Lancer hole in the canon route.**

 **Now then away we go!**

 _"I won't go down easily, missy!"_

 _"Fool. A Caster cannot defeat a Saber."_

 _"Funny, they also said **I** couldn't beat a goddess."_

 _"Hmmph. You claim to have slain divinity? Such artifice."_

 _"Nope. I cannot tell a lie. Compared to Kaguya? You're just a little girl swinging a sword."_

 _...I'm going to take my time breaking you now, Caster. I hope you realize that. You've only yourself to blame."_

 _"Oh ho! Did I make milady angry? Too bad! You tried to kill my Master. Now, c'mere, Saber. You're gonna work for this kill."_

 _~Caster and Saber._

 **In Darkest Night**

...I can't believe you just did that, Caster."

"Did what?" came the gormless reply. "No idea what you're talking about."

A muscle jumped in Rin's jaw. "Really? You're going to play dumb now, after all this?"

"Why, Rin!" Naruto clutched at his chest, feigning pain. "I have no recollection of such an event."

She wanted to kick him. She really, really, _truly_ wanted to kick Naruto right now, and it was only prior experience that stopped her.

Thus, for what felt like perhaps the umpteenth time that night, Rin Tohsaka dashed a palm against her aching forehead. Were _all_ Servants this exasperating? No? Just hers? Surely not. She couldn't possibly be the only one suffering here, right? Perhaps if she convinced herself of _that_ she'd be in less danger of dashing her foot against Naruto's shin.

"Please tell me you killed that Archer, at least." she pleaded.

"Dunno~!" Naruto sing-songed back at her.

Rin tripped over her own two feet and shot her Servant the fiercest glower she could muster. "What?!"

"I said I don't know." broad shoulders rolled in a careless shrug as they continued their trek uphill. "Archers tend to be squirrely at the best of times and I lost track of him after my clone exploded in his face. If he survived that, great. I get to pay him back later. If the fall kills him-unlikely as it seems-then I say even better. One less enemy to worry about."

Realizing he'd gotten a pit ahead of her, the staff-wielder paused and favored her with a sunny smile.

"Well, don't just stand there." he chastised, "We have an appointment to keep."

Shaking her head, she hastened after him.

"Jeez! You're ridiculous sometimes!"

"Sorry, can't hear youuuuu~!"

 _"Aaargh!"_

On some level she knew she'd never truly understand his motivations; it served as a poignant reminder of just how little she knew him. Outside of combat he seemed quite content to play the fool where his friends were concerned. If you were his ally he'd go to hell and back for you. But if you were his enemy...spirits help you. She'd seen him beat back Berserker and while he hadn't emerged _unscathed_ from their battle, he'd proven just where the realm of his talents lay. If he ever decided she wasn't a worthy Master, if he tried to betray her...well. She swore not to give him a reason.

Finally, they reached their destination.

The church itself was an admittedly humble establishment, an isolated abode standing alone atop the hill. A faint light stood guard against the gloom, a lone sentinel in the dark. It should've been a place of peace. Instead, it felt oppressive. Stifling. A false shepherd eager to usher unwitting lambs to the slaughter. Four walls pressed in from every side, the building constructed in such a way as to make one feel very small. When she was little she'd always hated being here; always feared the ceiling would come crashing down on her head and bury her alive.

...rather ironic, considering just who lived here.

In all honesty, Rin almost expected another attack even as she stepped within.

Aqua orbs flitted about, warily regarding every corner, expecting every shadow to spring at her.

After all, Archer and Rider had already seen fit to accost them. Who was to say Lancer or Saber wouldn't do the same? Perhaps Assassin was lurking somewhere in the shadows, waiting to strike? No no no, she needed to stop being so overly paranoid; if she didn't, this War truly would be death of her.

At her side, Naruto sniffed sullenly.

"Smells like hypocrisy in here."

Rin elbowed him and entered first, her footsteps echoing hollowly against empty pews.

A single, solitary figure awaited them within and as they approached, turned to meet them. Framed by waning moonlight, he still cut an imposing figure in the gloom, albeit an infuriating one.

To say that Rin disliked Kirei would've been an understatement. There was just something...wrong about this man. She'd never gotten along with him in the first place. Nor had she forgiven him. After all, he didn't protect Father in the last war. Then there was that insufferable smarm of his, that indefatigable sense of being _mocked_ whenever she spoke to him. As though he knew something she didn't, some great secret from which he derived endless amusement.

How little she knew.

"Ah, Rin." could a voice be oily? It was the only word she could associate with the priest's words. "How good to see you again."

Another muscle jumped in her jaw. "Shut up, idiot priest. I'm here to register my Servant for the war."

Again with that faint, mocking smile. "Yes, I can see that-

Abruptly, that deceptively blank expression shattered like brittle glass and his composure turned stone-tense. Those eerie dead eyes widened to an almost grotesque size, and it took Rin a moment to realize just what was rattling the war. The priest wasn't looking at her but rather, past her. Toward...Caster? Why would he be focused on Caster?

To her dismay Naruto wore a similar expression.

He even tilted his head, frowning.

"Have we...met?"

Kotomine frowned when the word "yes" nearly leaped to his lips. "I...no." a hand rose, pinching the brow of his nose. "It must be my imagination."

Was it?

There was something shamelessly disturbing about this young man; yet a feeling that seemed almost...familiar, to Kotomine Kirei. As though they'd met before; or perhaps known each other in another life. Another path. Another route. No. Impossible. Wholly, utterly absurd. Kirei was certain he'd never laid eyes on this person in his life, nor were his memories suppressed or erased in any way. He would know if they were. Executors-even a former one such as himself-had ways of guarding against such fell magics.

 _Yet there it was!_

Try as he might to deny it he felt a connection between the two of them, the faintest sense of nostalgia tainting the air, pervading his every thought. He could see this Caster; see him for what he truly was. His name, his motives, his wishes, even his heart's desire worn on his very sleeve. He suspected the same might well bode true for the young man. Such a fool, holding out for the Grail to fix his mistakes, when it could only bring cold, cruel death...

Ah, but Rin was glaring at him and he had a mask to maintain.

"Right," suddenly the Servant known to him as Caster _-as Uzumaki Naruto, a dark voice hissed in the back of his head-_ clicked his tongue in mild irritation. "We're going."

"Hey, wait!"

Rin jolted, perhaps realizing she'd just missed something. Poor girl. She was so easy to lead on. Kirei almost pitied her.

Almost.

Caster scarcely slowed, pausing just long enough to turn his head and incline hid head in Kirei's direction.

It was, by all means, a respectful gesture, not one smacking of their shared dislike of one another.

Oddly enough, _this_ set Kirei on edge and further fostered his strange animosity toward the whiskered warrior. He wanted to break this man, to take that overwhelming determination that shone like the sun and drown it in blackened mud. Anyone-who was not Gilgamesh-capable of provoking such a reaction in him with scarcely three words was someone to be watched. Rin seemed fond of him. The former was enough to be sly but the latter gave him an excuse to indulge in his most savored of pastimes.

Kotomine chuckled darkly.

"Its sad, isn't it?"

Naruto bristled.

"What is?"

"That you'll never have what you desire."

A blazing red eye reappeared over his shoulder.

...oi. You wanna run that by me again, shitty priest?"

Kire's smile grew imperceptibly. "I meant nothing by it, of course...

Caster stiffened, but willed himself to relax. "Fine, then take back what you just-

Like a vulture, Kirei saw the opportunity and swooped in. "I merely said that your own foolishness will get you killed."

An awful silence answered him, punctuated by Rin's startled oath. Odd. He'd expected an answer from Caster not this sad, sullen silen-

A staff clanged against the side of his head, shattered half the church, and knocked his senses into oblivion.

Even as Kirei struggled to right himself a clenched fist slammed into the side of his jaw, sending him reeling to the floor like a drunkard at last call. Surprise dulled his movements. For all his goading, he hadn't expected Caster to actually attack him outright; that he had done so willingly actually came as something of a shock to Kotomine. Thankfully, even in his inebriated, state his body still managed to move of its own accord. In the time that it took the blond to reach down and seize him by the collar, a black key slid from his sleeve to slam into where Caster's spiritual core ought to be.

 _He missed._

Rather than stab the whiskered warrior high in the heart as intended, the thin blade took him low in the stomach instead; to which the young man merely grunted and headbutted him. Hard. Something cracked in Kirei's skull, his thoughts turning syrupy and sluggish despite his best efforts to muster them. Ah. So this was where he died, then. Unexpected. Eyes rolling, vision swimming, he could scarcely move. Where was Gilgamesh? No, that was a pointless question; trying to find-or control!-the King of Heroes was akin to steering a hurricane, it simply couldn't be done and _ohdearthatoneratherhurt_...

From afar, he thought he heard Rin's voice. "Naruto, no!"

Caster was of a different mind.

 _ **"Naruto, yes!"**_

He _needed_ to kill this man. Every fiber of his being told him to do it, here and now. If he left him alive now, only misfortune would come of it. While not evil in the traditional sense of the word, this was a man who clearly delighted in the suffering of others. Yet something stayed his hand. Perhaps it was pity. Perhaps it was concern for Rin. Perhaps he simply wasn't sure what to make of this strangely familiar-and now bloodied-face before him. They'd never met-in this reality-yet, again, he found himself hesitating. As if a ghostly palm had laid itself on his arm, so too did he lower it.

In the end and against better judgement, he opted for the lesser of two evils, painful thought it was.

It was certainly within the realm of his current abilities after all. And it put him out of reach.

"I won't kill you." he decided at last. "That might cause problems for Rin. However...

Grinning, he hefted his staff. Its many rings offered a soft, sinister jingle.

...tell me, if you could take a trip, where would you like to go?"

Dazed, the priest offered a slow, baffled blink. "What-

"Alright! Mountains it is, then! Have fun!"

With a silent "snap", Kirei vanished into thin air.

To the naked eye he simply ceased to exist altogether; only one familiar with the breadth of his skills-one such as Rin-would've realized nothing was further from the truth. Rather than eradicate the meddling priest as had been his first intention, he'd simply deposited him somewhere far, far away.

It would take him hours-if not an outright day-to make his way back here.

Who was to say what could happen then?

Naruto snorted into the ensuing silence, the sound echoing hollowly in the now-emptied church. Only then did he finally remember his wound. After a long, ponderous moment he reached down and ripped the black key from his stomach. Mercifully the blade hadn't penetrated all that far; he could already feel his body mending the damage even as the thin steel fled from his flesh. He could also feel Rin glaring bloody red daggers at his back. Hmm. Should probably answer her.

Still, his blood was up and he wasn't certain he trusted himself to speak at the moment.

Reluctantly, he settled for a spiteful spit. "Hmmph! Serves him right!"

Rin groaned.

...that does it. We're going back to Illya's mansion."

"Great! Just give me a second and I can teleport us there-

"No!" She seized Caster by the jacket and shook him mightily. "Absolutely not!"

"Hey!" came the immediate rejoinder. "Its not like I pulled a Lancer and went flying off the handle!"

Rin shook him as much as she dared without physically exerting herself overmuch. "We are WALKING! Do you hear me?!"

* * *

 **(...0o0o0...)**

* * *

Lancer laughed.

Nay, to call this laughter would've been a disservice of the highest order. A great whooping cackle erupted from the back of Cú Chulainn's throat and shook his limber body from head to toe; the force of his mirth such that it nearly knocked him from his vantage point atop the skyscraper and sent him tumbling down to the bustling streets below. With a supreme effort of will the Servant of the spear righted himself, wiped a mirthful tear from the corner of his eye, and favored the fading remnants of the explosion with a savage grin.

"I fucking _love_ this war."

From here, his keens eyes had held a prime vantage of the chaos that had occurred only moments ago. Even now he savored it, turning the red bastard's fate over and over in his mind like some treasured gem. The sight of Archer scrambling back, a shrieking clone of Caster flung headlong into him, the fiery blast that followed; tossing the former into the city. Naturally, this meant one of two things. Either Caster possessed _prodigious_ arm strength-very likely given the fight his "copy" had put up-or he was nearby. Regardless, the trajectory of that throw made it all too easy to track him down...but should he?

And now the blond bastard had gone and blown up half a church. An explosion like that was hard to miss, least of all when it lit up the night.

Yet did that make it worth abandoning his Master just to track him down?

Firm fingers curled restlessly about his weapon for a moment.

This war wasn't like the others; not only were Servants coming out of the woodwork left and right, but the Grail itself was in flux. For one who cared for little beyond battle, Lancer wouldn't have given the matter much thought. That had been _before_ the damned thing started spitting out new Servants. At one point he'd even sensed another Lancer! That shit shouldn'ta been possible!

Eventually, Lancer made his decision.

"Bah! Damn me for a fool."

A single bound carried him forward to a lower elevation; blue clad feet scarcely alighting upon the smooth surface of another building before bounding away again. Wind howled in his ears but he paid it no mind, instead he gloried in the brief joy of flight before landing once more. Three such leaps carried him out of the city proper entirely, and one more brought him back to the one he served.

As ever she was waiting for him near the damn townhouse of hers.

After all, who would dare delve into gang territory just to wheedle out an enemy Master? None that he knew. No, any self-respecting magus worth their salt wouldn't tread here without taking serious precautions. Probably wouldn't want to dirty their shoes. Ha! The thought almost made him sneer. Magi might be powerful, but in his experience they were often utterly, wholly naive.

Little disappointing, that.

Alighting upon a ruined fence, the blue knight hopped down and made his way to their base.

"Oi, Bazette. Did you hear that just now? Seems like Caster's at it again."

"See what?"

His Master in question scarcely looked up at his approach; her gaze appeared focused on some distant point. At first she didn't speak; perhaps expecting the other shoe to drop at any moment. When Lancer didn't indulge her she huffed and shot him a withering glare.

Despite himself, Lancer smiled.

"Eh, bastard blew up another building. Nothing terribly important."

"Again?" Bazette slapped her forehead. "This war is getting to be more trouble than its worth...

As though waiting for that very moment Lancer uttered an explosive body-wracking sneeze.

"Aw, what the hell? Who's talking about me behind my back again?!"

"I don't know about your back...though its wide open. As usual."

Wheeling on the voice he brought his spear to bear...

...and just as swiftly lowered it.

The expressionless visage that stared back was known to him immediately; as was the danger lurking within. Though half their face remained masked he recognized those startling red eyes, that stern visage framed by a dark curtain of bloody violet hair. For a fleeting instant-despite his instincts screaming at him-his concentration wavered. Crimson eyes bulged.

"Oh, fuck me." he whispered. "What the actual hell is this?"

The newcomer smiled pertly right back at him. "Is that an invitation?"

Then the blunt end of a _very familiar spear_ blurred and sent him snarling into the city proper.

* * *

 **(...0o0o0...)**

* * *

"I'm never going to church again."

Rin palmed her face.

 _"Caster."_

"No, really. Never again." Naruto rambled on, heedless of the disparaging look he earned in the process. "That priest gave me the heebie-jeebies! Strangest thing though, I get the feeling I know him. Weird." at her baffled look he offered a small shrug. "I _know_ I've never met him before; just as he's never met me. Yet the memory's still there."

Was he immune to spells? Would he feel it if she shot him?

...probably not worth the risk in the end, that.

"You almost killed him!" she hissed!

"Ah, but I didn't!" he sang back.

...I hate you."

"Lova you tooooo!"

Their trek back to the Einzbern mansion had proven mercifully quiet thus far; none had dared to accost them. Even the wildlife itself had gone eerily silent. Almost as if it were afraid of being heard. Now _that_ was a mite bit worrying, but there was nothing she could do about it. At any rate, she could see the little sprite's home in the distance now, peer at the roof poking through the trees. Perhaps Illya would have some answers once they returned. Perhaps not. Perhaps this was all a bad dream, one she'd wake from any minute now...ha! She should be so lucky!

"I mean, I _wanted_ to gut the bastard," her Servant admitted baldly, peeling back a branch for her to duck under, "He just rubbed me the wrong way for some reason. With luck, he won't even remember any of this. I did rattle his brain a bit...

 _"We have no luck."_

"Then we make our own." he growled.

Rin flinched. "Naruto...you're scaring me."

His head snapped up and Rin caught a flash of crimson.

"Funny you should mention that. I'm downright terrified myself-

Whatever else he might've said vanished in a low roar of dread fire among the trees. Could light be black? At first, Rin didn't realize what was transpiring; one moment the way had been clear for them; she'd stepped over an upturned root to avoid falling face first on the forested path leading to the mansion. Wouldn't do to make a fool of herself and fall flat on her face, after all-

"MOVE!"

Then the air boiled and Caster seized her by the scruff of the neck, flinging her backwards as though she weighed no more than a child. Her head struck a rock, her body bounced against the ground in harsh succession as she tumbled away, once, twice, thrice, and the world shattered behind her eyes as she struggled to come to terms with what had just transpired.

Steel struck steel, the mournful wail of a corrupted light clashing against a thin metal rod.

Naturally, her first instinct was to cry out...

...until she saw the maiden in black-rather, her corrupted blade-occupying the space she'd just vacated. Their attacker was...well, to call someone armed and armored _short_ sounded like an insult and insults were beneath Rin Tohsaka. Nevertheless, something in her quailed when she looked upon the enemy Servant.

 _Death._

Those wicked golden eyes were locked on her; despite the distance, despite Naruto's body blocking her, despite everything else...she'd nearly died. If her Servant had been a hair slower, a little bit off the mark, that would be _her_ _blood_ decorating the ground, rather than his.

"Its rude to attack without giving your name, you know." if she hadn't known him so well, she might've missed the tension in Caster's voice.

The bleak figure turned then, grim golden eyes regarding the whiskered warrior blankly.

...it matters not." her voice was sharper than any blade. "I am destruction."

Rin wanted to whimper. In truth, she nearly did.

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me...!"

Here was a pure being corrupted by forces beyond her control; a proud warrior dragged down to the level of a mere brute. Though that black veil hid her eyes from view, the fact nevertheless remained. Bloodlust radiated from her in waves, threatening to silence them outright. This, then, could only be Saber. Who else would wield such a sword, least of all force Caster to a knee? Because her Servant _had_ been forced back, fists clenched white knuckled around the weapon. Somehow, her heart wept at the sight. What was he thinking, facing a Saber in close combat?!

In the end, Caster recovered first.

Rather than try to fight the blade biting into his staff the blond abruptly dropped back, allowing the corroded sword to sweep harmlessly overhead and shorten his coat by half-an-inch. In the same movement he kicked out and scythed the girl's armored legs out from under her, bringing his arm up to crash a Rasengan into her armored stomach...

 _"Naive!"_ the newcomer snarled at him.

...only to nearly lose his head to that towering blade once more.

With a startled hiss he brought his staff around to bat the sword aside.

Riposting sharply, the blond spun away and, much to her consternation, tilted his head.

"Hello, destruction. I'm Naruto." Pearly white teeth flashed out at her in a rueful grin. "Nice ta meetcha~!"

For all her severity, a crack etched itself in the woman's stony facade, a faint fracture breaking through those eyes of flint.

Then that black blade swung back, forward, and all the world-and Caster alongside it-vanished in a writhing sea of black light. _"Have at you!"_

 **A/N:** **Heh, this was a blast to write.**

 **The battle next chapter? Ohhhhhhhh that's going to be even more fun.**

 **Now if I could just shake this illness...**

 **Really sick and tired of being...well, sick and tired. Pain is a near constant companion these days for one reason or another and its driving me MAD. Be it pain from my scars or from my teeth or other stuff, it can prove downright distracting. ESPECIALLY when I'm writing. So I do apologize for that. Hope you liked the chapter!**

 **So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review, Would You Kindly?**

 **And enjoy the good ol' potential previews!**

 **They're rough atm, so don't think too much of them!**

 **Please bear in mind that they're just POTENTIAL outcomes.**

 **Nothing's solid yet, so as always there's plenty of room for change. No flak please~!**

 **(Previews)**

 _Protect._

 _This word thundered through the mind of Heracles as he gazed down at the golden one. Everything that he was, everything that he would ever be, screamed at him. This one would kill her. Rip out his Master's heart without so much as a second thought. Yet to fight him meant death. He could not protect her if he perished._

 _Protect Illya._

 _That handsome face curled into a derisive sneer._

 _"Begone, mongrel-_

 _A flicker of light heralded the wounded Caster's arrival and the snarling vortex of light clutched in his hand. Dropping down on him from on high, he swung his arm back, the keening of a thousand storms howling between his clenched fingers._

 ** _"You first~!"_**

 _Then he slammed it headlong into the King of Heroes._

 _"You dare strike your king?!_

 _"Fuck off, goldie!"_

* * *

 _"I gave you everything!"_

* * *

 _It was all her fault._

 _"I think that's enough, don't you, old man?"_

 _"You'll have to use a Command Spell."_

 _Remarkably, the ancient magus relented._

 _...hrmph." the old man grunted. "Resist all you like. It makes no difference."_

 _"Th-Thank you."_

 _Assassin smiled softly._

 _"Don't worry about it, Sakura."_

 ** _R &R~!_**

 ** _=D_**


	9. To The Victor Goes the Spoils

**A/N: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!**

 **I am very angry at the moment-partially thanks to my bum leg-and I apologize in advance if that reflects the grammar/fighting style in this chapter.**

 **I** **ts dark. Angry. Vicious.**

 **Just what you'd expect from someone like Saber Alter. She takes no prisoners. Fights with zero restraint. Of course, she CAN be tempted with food, but beyond that she'd likely kill you as look at you in any any case. Shift to Naruto, who rarely goes all out unless you force him to, or threaten those he cares about.**

 **So here, have your battle while I stew in my disappointment.**

 **I'm also right and properly pissed off with Game of Thrones now! I had hope! I wanted to believe! But instead...INSTEAD! "That" happened! They say rage is a hell of an anesthetic, but its also quite the motivator. With the end of this series I feel broken and empty inside...but also free. Free to update my Fate stuff again as I can and NEVER invest myself in something the way I did with Game of Thrones ever again. I will always treasure the characters and the last seven seasons, hell, even the first two episodes of Season Eight...but that's all.**

 **No questions to answer, not for this chapter, just a hard fight. Feels good to get back to that.**

 **Yes, Saber Alter is an anomaly. She shouldn't remember anything. And yet she does. Once more, if it wasn't obvious, this is the corrupted "Saber" from the Heaven's Feel Route. She shouldn't have been summoned. It shouldn't be possible. Yet she was, and it does. Needless to say she remembers her death quite clearly, and is bitter as hell about it. Another anomaly, considering most Servants shouldn't be able to remember outside of Fate Grand Order. And yet Saber Alter does.**

 **Come to think of it, a lot of Servants are "remembering" now, aren't they?**

 **...what's that? Plotting, you say? Me? A man would never do that...**

 **...oh who am I kidding, I love overarching stories! Onward~!**

 _"There can only be one victor, Caster! One lives! One dies!"_

 _"Ha! My thoughts exactly little miss hothead!"_

 _"STOP TALKING AND FIGHT ALREADY!"_

~?

 **To The Victor Goes the Spoils**

This was death.

Rin reasoned no other word for it; she found herself powerless to do anything other than observe and even that proved dangerous in-and-of-itself. Every blow rattled the soil and ruptured the earth underfoot. Each near-miss shook the heavens above. Every strike rang in her ears like a sonorous bell. Clang. Clang! CLANG! Staff met saber and skittered away in a shower of sparks, a storm of fell magic and impossible strength. Here was a war between two beings who commanded power on a scale she'd never seen before. Any attempt and diplomacy had been utterly, irrevocably cast aside. One would live. One would die.

Soon enough she found she had to run, just to avoid being caught up in the madness of it all.

In contrast to the controlled chaos of Caster's brief battle with Heracles this battle held no restraint.

And yet she felt no drain on her circuits.

Saber and Caster fought like titans of old, engaging a running battle against one another, spells and dark prana blazing through the forest in fell form of wind and fire. Caster was pulling out all the stops, all the tricks in his arsenal, ever gimmick and technique he knew; all to stay ahead of that shadow-steeped sword. By rights her body should've been a searing oven by now, exhausted by Naruto's relentless assault at the very least. So why wasn't she? Had he found some way to bypass the strain somehow? A leyline perhaps? Some trick with his clones? Or maybe-

Caster ripped a tree from the ground to fling it at Saber and she swatted it aside in equal measure.

Unfortunately, the severed halves lost none of their momentum and caromed towards Rin.

She felt the color drain from her face at the sight.

Questions for later! Running now!

"Oh for crying out loud!" her voice rose in a wail as she narrowly evaded a towering chunk of blazing timber, another fresh shockwave further rattling her senses. "Restraint! Both of you! LEARN IT!" she ranted at them as their battle continued to ramp up in spite of her protests. "Especially you, miss battledress! You've got some nerve trying to take my head like that!"

Saber's gaze snapped toward her, eyes blazing like balefire, and something in Rin quailed.

...sorry?" she squeaked.

 _"Ho~?"_

An armored boot cannoned through Caster's deteriorating guard, cracking his ribs and hurling him away with a startled yowl. Even as he tumbled across the ground Saber, never once taking her gaze from her, pointedly unleashed a fresh blast with her sword to send Rin's Servant slamming deep into the grove like a golden meteor. As the trees toppled down onto her ally, the dark warrior advanced on her, dragging that corrupted sword in her wake like a reaper's scythe.

"You insult me so openly?" a small, cold smile plucked at the edge of her mouth." Bold of you, Rin. Its nice to see that some things never change."

The blackette skittered backward like a drunken spider and reflexively readied a _gandr_ spell, ineffective though it would be.

Something about the way she'd just spoken now sent chills shooting down her spine. "You know me?"

Those wild golden orbs narrowed and her sword swung up, blazing blackly.

"Oh, yes." she crooned. "All too well. And that is why you must die."

Something unholy danced in those eerie eyes.

 _"For my wish."_

A flicker of crimson in the back of Rin's peripherals caught her eye a heartbeat before Caster reappeared; even as Saber brought the sword screaming down-even as Rin cried out and tried to throw herself to safety-so too did Naruto throw _himself_ between them. There was no word nor warning; on moment she saw her own pale reflection in the surface of Excalibur; the next, someone seized her by the scruff of her neck and hauled her out of harm's way like a recalcitrant puppy. It was a clumsy move, one borne of equal parts desperation and fear, one that left him well within the blazing blade's path. He had no time to spirit himself away or dodge aside at the last moment.

Nor did Saber hesitate.

Uncaring for its new target, her weapon split his staff and sank into his collarbone, biting deep through the meat of his right shoulder to nearly split him in half.

To his credit, Caster did not scream. He didn't even stagger. His eyes only widened.

Rin felt the blood drain from her face. "No...!"

A moment of stony silence flowed between both parties, then, in an incredible show of defiance, her Servant roared and _lurched into the tainted blade_ to smash his now-open palm into Saber's armored chest. Strange scrawling runic script burst from his fingers to coat the armor and the skin beneath. tTen with a squeal of sundered steel, the heavy plating tore itself from her shoulders as though it had a will of its own and crumpled like wet tissue paper. Revealed was Saber's shock, just as much as that daring black dress lurking beneath. To her credit, the Servant of the Sword realized her peril and reacted near instantaneously, backhanding him in a cloud of...

...smoke?

Rin realized her savior was a copy if only because of the white haze that followed its death and her heart fluttered in silent relief. He must've reinforced the copy to take a second hit. Still! That...that idiot! Scaring her like that! How dare he?! She nearly shouted, but remembered the ghastly girl standing before her and quickly bit her cheek. Saber possessed no such knowledge and gaped at the fading smoke in a rare moment of confusion and exasperated anger. In his haste to rescue her, Naruto's clone had hurled her well behind his fellow blond. Maybe...if she just crept away quietly...she might escape her notice.

A hand closed around her shoulder and she nearly yelped outright before she recognized the owner of said palm.

"Be...quiet." a familiar, halting voice warned her. "Very...quiet."

 _"Brynhildr?"_

Naruto's Lancer flicked her a quick worried look, idly noting the cuts on her face and arms. Something shifted in her stoic visage. Then all at once she gathered the blackette into her arms and _moved._ Rin, on the verge of arguing against being picked up at all suddenly found herself yelping and clinging onto the Servant for dear life when she took off at a mad dash into the forest.

"What're you doing?!"

"Naruto said...to keep you safe." she answered in her own, eerie way.

"Hweh?!" sputtering, she tried to right herself to no avail. "No! Stop! Forget about me! Help Caster!" For all her protests Lancer's grip on her was as iron and in no time at all she found herself bodily dragged away from the ensuing chaos.

"You flee, coward?!" Saber's voice roared behind them, only to end in a startled grunt as another unseen assault staggered her.

In the end Rin needn't have worried about further pursuit, for Artoria suddenly found herself quite...preoccupied in the following minutes. A yellow flash arced to her right and the corrupted Saber swatted at it with a snarl, only to miss her target yet again by a hairsbreadth. Another suck strike met naught but empty air while her attack struck a pauldron from her right shoulder, prompting a growl from the armored king as she spun away.

"What sorcery is this?" she hissed, hefting Excalibur curiously. "Where have you gone, Caster?!"

Muted laughter rose from windblown tress to mock her.

"Show yourself!"

Orbs of poisoned gold shifted toward the trees, demanding recompense for this temerity. But none came. No assault followed, though she left herself well open in an attempt to goad him out. Her instincts bristled and she struck out blindly at her flank, narrowly deflecting an attack that might've taken her head. By the time she brought her blade about again, her prey was long gone. In his place lay a broke kunai wrapped with more of that strange runic script of before. In a fit of pique she kicked it away, only to find herself set upon yet again by little more than a golden blur. He dared not face her directly; his class was too weak in close combat. So he relied on guerilla attacks, or so she reasoned.

Craven.

 _'Though I suppose I'm the same, now.'_ a small, bitter-black voice laughed in the back of her head. 'All the same, he struck me. For that, he dies.'

This war was confusing enough for her already; truly, this was the last thing she'd expected. She'd thought to face Medea as Caster as before, not this...newcomer. She'd felt her blade sink into flesh. Seen the light dim in his eyes. Yet when she'd struck him a second time he'd fallen apart like an illusion. But illusions couldn't inflict damage and this one had done just that; she could already feel the cold wind plucking at her tattered dress in silent mockery. It only fanned the flames of her rage further, her rage coalescing into a white hot diamond in her core to keep her warm.

"FACE ME!" she roared!

 _"No, I don't think I will."_ the whiskered warrior's voice purred all around her, his once-warm voice now cold with a silken menace. _"You tried to take out Rin again back there. That's twice now. So I don't feel much inclined to parlay with someone like you. Congratulations. You have my undivided attention. I hope its what you wanted."_

Saber grit her teeth as the trees shifted around her anew. "You dare mock a king, Caster?"

 _"I see no king before me! Only a tyrant!"_

"Enough. I won't bandy words with a coward. Reveal yourself! Now! Before I burn down the forest!"

The world roiled around her, causing her to straighten her back.

Above, then.

He would attack from the treeline or the sky, trusting to his speed and the cover of the trees. Well! She was prepared for that now. The moment she saw the slightest movement she'd unleash her Noble Phantasm on him, consequences be damned. Her Master wasn't here to stop her. Not this time. She'd wipe out this stain, regardless of Assassin's claim, and move on to his Master for good measure. She would _not_ relive the same defeat a second time-

Without warning, the original burst from the earth below her feet like a nuclear warhead.

 _"Gotcha!"_

Clenched knuckles rammed into the Alter's chin from below as the rest of the soil ruptured to make way for Caster's sudden rise; that taut fist snapping her head back with such force that she nearly bit her tongue clear off. He hit harder than she'd expected. Far harder. Momentum seized her in a cruel fist and sent her tumbling to the ground in a tangle. By the time she'd risen Caster was there, slamming his heel into her unarmored side with a harsh crack, gone before she could strike at him again, leaving her with naught to vent her rage on but a smoking crater.

"You're better than this." Rage crept in at the corners of Saber's vision as she struggled to scrape herself off the floor. "I know you are. Why go out of your way to target us?"

"Shut up!"

Excalibur arced out in a mournful howl and to her great dismay Caster merely leaped over it in its entirety, knees tucked into his chest. In the same fluid movement he alighted on the flat of her blade and slapped her face with his staff. Little more than a lazy jab, yet it set her already frayed temper to frothing. A vicious crosscut savaged his coat to set the trees alight, but failed to do anything more than open his cheek as he bounded backward.

"'Tis but a scratch!" his voice rose in jeering mummery, but she could see the anger in his eyes. "Though I can't say the same for you. What's wrong?" tense knuckles cracked in high warning. "Don't tell me one punch was enough to rattle you."

"And who are you to mock me then?!" she challenged, forcing him to dodge back again from an overhanded smash. "A pawn to your Master! Some dog content to do as you're bade!"

"I'm no pawn!" his words crackled over the burning forest, burning hotter than dragonfire itself. "And who do you serve, hmm?! Where's your Master?!"

Artoria unbent enough to growl. "I have no need of him! I serve my own ambitions!" She spun wildly, narrowly parrying another assault.

The look he gave her across their interlocked weapons bordered on childlike pity and it _burned._

...you poor, broken thing. You're King Arthur."

Saber stiffened, stung by his words.

 _"What?"_

"I wasn't sure at first," Caster titled his head, considering her as one would an strangely shaped cloud, "But after seeing that sword...that presence...there's no mistaking it. Even dyed in darkness, you'd be an idiot not to recognize that blade. And I'm not that dense anymore. What the hell happened to you to make you like this?"

Saber grit her teeth as he regarded her over their crossed weapons.

"Look, I know what I said earlier, but we really don't have to fight." he was still speaking, mistaking her silence for acceptance. "I know what its like to be hated. To be loathed even. That was a really dark place in my life for awhile. Let me help you-

Something snapped deep in Saber's rotten heart at those words; her world turned to flame. Of course Caster had no way of knowing this. Pity. She loathed pity. Least of all from a man she'd never met, one who had been leading her on a wild goose chase for the better part of the night now. He didn't realize he'd just trod upon a landmine. How could he? She wanted none of it. Needed none of it. Even though that hand stretched out towards her-even as a small part of her longed to accept it-the sheer hatred she had for it, for the world, for him, for everyone and everything, all of it came boiling up in an instant.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!"

Caster must've been genuinely surprised by her refusal because for once, she finally caught him. Excalibur rejoiced as it finally tasted blood, carving a deep trench into Caster's side. This time, he didn't disappear, no, the shock in those azure orbs was all too real. Blood bubbled up between clenched teeth but he still spun away as the king chased him down relentlessly, hammering blow after blow into his faltering guard. Yet he stubbornly made no move to strike back at her, and it ignited her rage all the more.

"What do you know of it?!" she raged, cursing with every blow! "What do you know of anything?!"

A flicker of blue in her peripherals heralded the return of Brynhildr; Saber felt some spiteful satisfaction that she'd forced the Lancer to abandon her mission and return. In her maddened state she cared not for the odds or who favored them. She'd kill her, kill him, kill all of them, grasp the Grail for herself and finally be free of this-

"Stay!" wavering on his feet, the young Caster flung up a hand before the newcomer could enter the fray. "Stay back. This is my fight."

It was a surprisingly noble gesture.

Saber loathed him for it.

"Then die!"

A bloody snarl swerved with spite as she swung her sword down; but the air blurred and she found naught but a log in its place. In a heartbeat Brynhildr snatched up Naruto and sought the safety of a weathered oak before she could be targeted by the woman's unthinking battle lust. Not a moment later Saber's snarl rose in her ears anew; a harsh animal cry of pain echoing through the Einzbern forest as she gave chace. Perhaps Illya heard it, leagues away in her mansion. Perhaps not. Or perhaps-more likely-this ill turn of luck would persist and they'd all be dead by morning. Who knew?

Lovely thought, that.

Rin was of the same mind when she saw her Servant's sundered state.

 _...how are you still alive?'_ she'd meant to ask that, to berate him for being so foolish. Instead she yelped.

 _Yelped_ as a swathe of dark fire burst from Saber's blade and obliterated half an acre of the forest. A quick glance confirmed her worst fears; though Lancer had saved him from dying on his feet, it seemed death had other plans for him. Oh jeez this was going to end poorly.

Thus it came as something of a surprise when Naruto actually stood.

"Ah, Rin? Might be a good time for you and Bryn to get out of here. Find Illya."

"What are you talking about, Caster? There's two of you and only one of her! Can't you just-

Cast clicked his tongue in mild admonishment as the reaper raised her blade to strike the three of them down.

...and she's likely to wipe the floor with all of of us in spite of that now that I've riled her up. Nothing personal, but run. NOW."

Before she could challenge him his staff struck down against the earth once, twice, three times in rapid succession. And the world answered, banishing him and Saber to another realm. A swirl of wind, of leaf and shadow, and the two of them ceased to exist in this world. Belatedly she realized Caster had just used his Reality Marble to pull them away from the fighting. It made sense. If he couldn't best Saber alone with his wounds then he would bog her down with sheer numbers and overwhelm her, just as he had with Berserker. At the very least he could delay her, trap her until Heracles arrived-

With a sound not unlike glass breaking, Caster reappeared a heartbeat later. He looked about as surprised as she felt.

"Unbelievable." He turned and spat blood. "Is she pulling her power directly from the Grail or something?!"

"I don't understand, what happened-

Desperate blue eyes turned to meet hers. "The moment I pulled her into my Reality Marble she used her Noble Phantasm. I've never seen anything like it before" a hand rose and he coughed harshly into it, shuddering in every breath. "Everyone...they didn't have a chance to react. I won't be able to call them again for at least a day...assuming we even survive this...

A chill stole over Rin as she followed Naruto's gaze to the east. What she saw there caused her to sucked in a sharp breath through her teeth.

Naruto's Noble Phantasm had devastated Heracles. Saber had broken out of it in less than a minute. Caster was covered in wounds and missing a chunk of his left ear. Saber looked nearly as fresh as a daisy, though her expression told another story. Her once bound hair hid a bloodied eye, but not her grin. She'd been pushed too far, goaded beyond the point of no return. There would be no truce here, no alliance forged. Something had broken deep inside her, yet this once proud king, her outfit in tatters, her pride flayed beyond recognition, still advanced on them.

"You have to die, Caster." Saber growled the words through clenched teeth, chanting them like a mantra. "You have to die. So long as you live, I can't have my wish. So you...you have to _ **die...**_

Once more Brynhildr stepped forward, and once more, she was waved back by Caster

Steadying himself on his staff, the battered blond turned an irritated look on her. "And what _is_ your wish? You've been going on about it for awhile now."

Artoria graced him with a mad smile.

 _ **"Oblivion."**_

Rin twitched. "You must be joking."

 _ **"I do not jest, Rin."** _That crazed grin rounded on her with frightful clarity and yet her voice echoed-as though another were speaking through her, something horrible, something ghastly-causing the blackette to shrink back in abject horror. " _ **You're naive. Like my old self. Once I thought I could be someone else. Something more. I had hopes. Dreams. And for these idiotic hopes, I was destroyed and degraded in the same breath, shattered and left to die. No one was there for me! No one saved me! And yet! AND YET!"**_

A small bitter laugh escaped her as she palmed her bloodied face.

 _ **"And yet the throne persists in this torture! No more! Enough of this bad joke!"**_ still laughing, she turned her gaze to the ruined sky above. _ **"I want nothing more than an end. To erase myself, my thoughts, this corrupted form, all mention of me-from the throne of heroes, from history itself. Don't you see?!"**_

Her arms spread wide, as though to embrace the burning forest around them, the pale, cloudless sky overhead. _**"Only the Grail can accomplish that! And you're in my way! You call me corrupt? Craven? I DON'T CARE! I want it to end! I'll gladly climb a mountain of bodies if it means release from this hell that you call life! Now stand aside or be cut down with your Servants!"**_

"You want...to die? For something like that...you'd trample them?! That's...cruel! Cowardly!"

Rin's gaze snapped to the right as Brynhildr raised her lance.

For the first time since they'd met, a rare note of anger had entered the Valkyrie's voice. No, more than that, her mournful visage bore genuine emotion. She looked all of an instant from flinging herself at Saber; only the stubborn order given by Naruto held her in check.

 _ **"Silence!"** _Saber snarled. _ **"Your condemnation means nothing to me, Lancer! Who are to judge me?!"**_

...and yet it means everything to _me._ Funny how that works."

Ignoring his wound, Naruto slouched upright.

"Stand aside?" bloodied hair shaded his eyes, hiding them from view. They did nothing to conceal his snarl. "Surrender? To you? For a stupid wish like that? Fuck that! Fuck this! FUCK YOU!"

"Caster, what-

With a snarl, Naruto flung down his staff and raised his arms, fingers splayed toward the enemy. Golden light swarmed him, taking on the shape of a beast. Rin didn't wait to see what kind. Sensing the sudden buildup of Prana, Brynhildr dove to the ground, dragging the young magus with her and not a moment too soon.

"I'll knock that idiocy out of your head!"

The subsequent shockwave and scream behind it sent even Lancer stumbling; forcing the wounded warrior to drop to a knee. Though her body shielded her from the backlash, it couldn't block the sound of Naruto's attack. Nor could she fully contain the sight. Rin saw the gathering vortex and something in her went cold as she beheld the spiraling sphere of energy. Not a Rasengan. Or a Rasenshuriken. As she looked she felt the earth begin to tremble underfoot, just as she saw the sky rupture overhead.

This was worse.

Violet energy swirled out, congealing in a towering sphere before his good hand. A keening gale rose at his call, piquing louder with each passing moment. And yet Saber made no move to evade, or even raise her weapon in the least. Those pale golden eyes calmly gazed back at them, unblinking as the summoned storm battered at her face, sending her unbound flaxen tresses snapping like whips in her face.

"SABER!" Caster-Naruto!-roared again over the storm, his words laced with inimitable fury. "You call yourself a king?! Let's see you try and stop this one then, your majesty!"

Perhaps she sensed the danger.

Regardless, the tyrant stood her ground.

With a roar, he leveled the teeming mass of energy at Artoria.

"After all you said to me you're not going to try to dodge this, are you?!"

A dark look bloomed in those frigid golden eyes as she hefted her burning blade. One final clash? So be it, then. Caster was clearly on his last legs and she doubted his companion's strength. Kill one, and the other would fall in short measure. Something dark had wormed its way into her thoughts; something that was even now providing her with power when she should have none. In her frenzied state she cared not a wit for it. Perhaps if she had not been pushed so far she might've realized what was happening to her. Too little. Too late.

 _ **...come, then."**_

Steadying Excalibur in her good hand, she raised it high to the heavens and willed it to respond. Darkness soothed her wounds, steeping from her body into her blade. Her shadow-steeped sword swelled menacingly, cold sparks of dark crimson etching from the tattered remnants of her spiritual core. Yet she did not bring her blade down. She watched. Waited, as her enemy's attack swelled to meet her own.

"I knew it! BIJUDAMA!"

 **"EXCALIBUR MORGAN!"**

This clash exceeded all others; darkness met light and neither yielded. For a fleeting moment the stalemate endured. Shadow and flame. Saber and Caster. Two beings cut from a similar cloth; one who had given into the dark, and another who even now stubbornly fought against it. Two indomitable wills. A moment that stretched into eternity.

Eventually, as all things do, one yielded to the other.

Rage kindled anew in Saber's heart as she found herself slowly but inexorably being beaten back. Inch by inch. Foot by foot, she gradually gave ground. Though she ground her teeth and planted her feet against it, she still found her boots digging determinedly into the soil. Small trenches formed underfoot as she sank further and further back.

There was something...calming about it. Almost soothing. It reminded her of what her Excalibur should have been-had been!-once upon a time. In her mind's eye, she glimpsed the faintest outline of a familiar face. A smile she'd once held so dear to her heart. Of a hand offered in peace...just like him. Then it was gone and Artoria's world went with it. Perhaps realizing its cause to be lost, the dark forces empowering her fled all at once, leaving the last remnants of her Noble Phantasm to scatter in the wind. One final fleeting thought whispered through the back of her addled mind as Caster's blast plowed forward.

 _'What have I...been doing?'_

Through her, then headlong into her.

 _'If this is my end...perhaps it wasn't so bad..._

Saber laughed as the radiance overwhelmed her.

And then there was only the light; sweet, blessed light.

 **A/N: To the victor goes the spoils.**

 **The only question is...did Saber survive her defeat?**

 **Why, that would be telling dear reader. Next chapter will reveal her fate.**

 **Even if she did perish by some chance, it seems her outlook on life has finally changed.**

 **Felt good to finally get this out here, because Saber!Alter ties into my A Most Unlikely Avenger. To post that first would've spoiled this chapter, so I did my best to get this out as soon as I could given the circumstances. No jumping around. No skipping. Just one pure, bloody fight scene. It goes without saying that Saber Alter is an absolute monster in battle; we all saw the number she did on poor poor Heracles. Add in her magic resistance and she put up quite the fight.**

 **Now I'm off-limping-to work. Looking forward to your reviews/comments/concerns when I get back tonight~!**

 **So In the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review, Would You Kindly?**

 **And enjoy the previews!**

 **Potential Ones!**

 **(Previews)**

 _"You...?!"_

 _Assassin sighed._

 _"Nothing personal kid..._

* * *

 _"We all fall sooner or later."_

 _Caster's expression remained pensive. "This feels...familiar."_

 _Rin tilted her head. "How so? You're acting like you've seen this before."_

 _"Maybe...maybe I have."_

* * *

 _Caster clicked his teeth in annoyance._

 _"It pains me to do this, kid. It really does. But you're in the way. Last chance. Move or I make you."_

 _"No! I won't back down-_

 _ **"Then fall."**_

 _Shirou opened his mouth to reply; only to grunt as a clenched fist sheathed itself in his stomach with blinding speed. It would've been easy to turn that arm into a point. To pierce his stomach. Yet he didn't. Instead breath burst from the boys lungs and he bent double in an explosive gasp. Twin palms clapped over his ears, deafening him. Even as he turned to face the enigmatic servant, another hand blitzed into the side of his head to render his world black._

 _Reeling, eyes rolling in his head, he collapsed._

 _The last he heard was a bitter growl._

 _Rather, he saw his lips move:_

 _"Sweet dreams, hero."_

* * *

 _Blue eyes snapped up._

 _"Burn."_

 _Just a simple word, and yet it rendered the world into fire._

 **R &R~! **

**=D**


	10. Purity Thy Name Is Folly

**A/N: *EDIT***

 **And so the flames continue.**

 **I am so...unbelievably done with this.**

 **I think I'm starting to break down. There. I said it.**

 **Look at them if you don't believe me. They're all over this story.**

 **That...that really starts to get to you after awhile you know? It hurts. Alot.**

 ***EDIT* EDIT* No, I can't simply disable anonymous reviews. That option doesn't exist in any of my tabs. The best I can do is moderate them and even then I can't get them all. Some appear while I'm at work, some arrive late, and others slip under the radar. I work. Double. Shifts. I tend to be gone for twelve hours a day at the very least. Its impossible for me to ferret out every one of them, no matter how much I wish I could.**

 **Well, I'm off to work now, so I look forward to chatting with you all later.**

 **Though...if I could beg a favor?**

 **If...if folks could drown those flames with reviews...? I know, you shouldn't have to...but it would make me happy.**

 **Well.**

 **Here we are at last.**

 **We're in the endgame now.**

 **Events have been coming to a head in this story.**

 **And now...prepared or not...events have been set in motion.**

 **Who will live? Who will die? The answers might surprise you, dear reader.**

 **As ever, reviews, even constructive criticism will be happily welcomed and I look forward to it every day~!**

 _"Consider this...an intervention. Nothing personal, kid. Orders are orders."_

~?

 **Purity Thy Name Is Folly**

 _The light burned._

Yet the darkness soothed.

Both struck her body in a single instant.

In that moment, Saber Alter's body certainly ceased to exist. As the overwhelming light of the Tailed Beast Bomb crashed into the blast from her Excalibur, as the resulting shockwave sent both slamming into her soul, she found herself thrown back and swallowed up by light and dark alike. That searing luminescence flooded her soul and core, sending them spinning back to the throne in a wash of burning heat. All her memories. Her experiences, the last words thrown down at her in a challenge, and her final, miserable thoughts, all were recorded in the throne.

And yet.

AND YET...?

 **-nOtlIkEtHiSnOtLiKeThis...**

The entity known as Saber did not truly die. Not wholly. Not completely. A broken fragment lingered in the ashes of the attack, a tiny spark of kindling, an infinitesimal mote of dust that could barely be called a Servant. A fractured piece of the original, it clung desperately on like a terrified child, holding on for dear life. There was no anger. No hate. Only mind-numbing terror. It...she... didn't feel good. She had tasted the terror of the void and felt a piece of herself get pulled in.

She didn't want to go.

She wanted to survive this.

She needed to endure this, somehow.

Filled with fear as she was, though every second of existence was pain, she still wanted to live. So she dare not move. Dare not speak, or even move, for fear of provoking another attack. In her weakened state, anything short of a stiff breeze could kill her. She had to run. To flee. To recover. But she couldn't move. Her knees remained locked on the ground as she clenched inward, body writhing in pain.

 _Thus, it continued._

The stoic silence that followed brought with it such an utter absence of light that Naruto-Caster!-couldn't help but wonder if he'd missed, somehow. Lungs burning, skull aching, he didn't lower his guard for a moment. For to do so would surely invite his demise. That was his belief. Though his chest heaved and his brow ran slick with sweat, still he kept his defenses up and arms raised. If anything so much as twitched in that cloud, it there was even a glimmer of killing intent he was fully prepared to blast it into oblivion.

"Naruto...?"

"Stay back!" he didn't dare look away from the burning crater when Rin called out to him. How many blasts did he have left in him? One? Two? He'd been pulling hard from his reserves and the environment around him to keep going-to avoid drawing from her-but he was nearly at his limit. If she had survived that...well. He was going to have a bad time. Still, he was fully prepared to deliver an express blast of napalm straight to Saber's face if she attacked again.

"Brynhildr," the words tasted dry on his tongue. "Go get Illya. Now."

Lancer hesitated. "But your wounds...

"I SAID GO!"

She got.

So the standoff persisted, that thick black smoke not abating in the least. Rin made no move to approach when a figure resolved itself against the smoke. Naruto clenched his fingers into claws, a thin line of blood running down his left eye. Hurriedly, he thumbed it away and returned his attention to the smoke. Even the night itself seemed stained red, as though someone had torn open a hole in the sky. Surely that was just his imagination, right? He didn't even want to consider what the other Servants might be up to while his attention was focused down here. Nevermind the fact that most of them-save Rider and Berserker-were actively against him...

All at once, the haze cleared.

And they saw Saber.

 _...what have you done to me?"_

Rin's jaw popped open in tandem with Naruto's.

It was not the voice of a king that answered them; t'was the high, reedy voice of a little girl, not a battle hardened warrior.

One might have called her battle-dress white as snow, save for eerie veins of deep purple staining half of the fabric. That once heavy armor had changed as well, lessened so much like her body, now resembling little more than the light plate etched with eerie symbols. Though she still lay on her knees her gaze was a thing to behold; for while her right eye was still the color of poisoned honey, the other had softened to a teal aqua. Even that stern face had been changed, as though time itself had come unwound in a matter of moments, rendering a cold king into a young girl. She even bore a black ribbon in her hair that most assuredly hadn't been there at the outset of their battle.

But most of all:

She was utterly furious with him.

A lone finger stabbed at him. "You shrunk me!"

Naruto's right eye began to twitch. "I...wouldn't say that."

"What?" Mismatching eyes blinked at his response, narrowed, and looked downward.

Her shout proved positively bloodcurdling by comparison. "This is even worse! Why am I stuck in this form?! Where has my strength gone?!"

As Master and Servant alike looked on, the altered, well, _Alter_ , bolted to her feet and hastily palmed her face. Her apoplectic expression went from forlorn to thunderous in a heartbeat. Much to his surprise, she didn't draw her sword-which looked to be a different blade altogether now that he got a closer look at it-though she did storm up to him. Wow. She was right. She was even shorter than before. No surprise, given her younger body. A strange urge to pat her head welled up in him as she beat against his armored chest with mailed fists.

"Monster! Lech! Fiend! You did this to me!"

"I didn't _do_ anything!"

...heh."

Rin couldn't help herself any longer; with that, she began to giggle. Softly at first, but with ever rising intensity as she watched the young Alter flail ineffectually at Caster. This...this was just too much. Perhaps it was the stress of so many battles finally catching up to her. Perhaps it was guilt on her part. Perhaps it was simply the sight of Naruto holding Saber back with one hand against her forehead. No, it was definitely that. Such an abrupt and utter reversal was more than she could bear, and she didn't care if both Servants saw her.

"I can't...oh this is just too much!" she cried! "All of her stats have dropped by at least a rank or more! She's as harmless as a kitten!"

Saber snarled.

"I WILL END YOU, TOHSAKA!"

Naruto sighed "Y'know, somehow, I just don't feel like fighting anymore-

 _A dagger burst out of his chest._

And the world.

Just.

Stopped.

"Eh...?"

There had been no warning. No time to prepare. Not even a hint of his attacker's presence or killing intent before they struck. Just a knife in his back; a cruel and jagged dagger that punctured a lung before erupting out of his upper torso like a grisly creature giving birth. It wasn't Saber. Artoria looked just as horrified as he felt, and her hands were empty as she jerked away from him. And the attack had come from behind, while Rin was off to his side and well in his view. He could see her ashen face now, distantly hear her screaming as he coughed up blood. Shock paralyzed him, leaving his body all but reeling even as an armored hand settled against his shoulder.

Wait.

Hadn't he seen that?

That hand...somewhere before?

"Nothing personal, kid." a familiar voice hissed in his ear. "But orders are orders. And I can't afford to wait around any longer while you screw around."

With that, the knife tore free from his body and sent him stumbling forward.

Naruto struck blindly, but his fist found empty air. Mild laughter greeted him as he spun, searching for his attacker, only to find empty air. He could see Saber reeling, bleeding from a gut wound, but he barely paid her any mind. This was Assassin. It had to be. No one else could conceal themselves so well. Which meant...Rin! Instinct compelled him to act, to move, and he threw himself between Rin and the attack that he _knew_ was coming, would be coming any second now-

"Rin! Run!"

And the knife found him once more.

Pain blazed through his shoulder but he fought it down and lashed out again.

"Whoa, there!" anew, that eerily calm laugh mocked him. "Almost got me that time."

This time, his knuckles brushed skin, but the knife slid under his elbow in recompense for his temerity.

 _Stop!_ He willed himself to focus. _You're alright. This won't kill you. Not immediately. Stop. Think. Why can't I think? Why do I feel numb?_

Blinking through blurry eyes, Naruto forced himself to stand once more and breathe with his ruined lungs. To think. Move. When he created a trio of clones they were immediately cut down, but it bought him time. Three seconds. When that damn shadowy knife came for him again he caught it this time; and both his attackers wrists with it. Though his vision still swam like a raft in a storm-tossed sea, the blond managed a brief, lucid moment of coherency. Then he headbutted them with every bit of strength he had left in him. Their cry of pain was poignantly familiar, but worse was their visage. He saw it.

No.

Naruto immediately wished he hadn't.

Yes.

Because in that moment he'd seen their face just before impact.

No.

He saw them now as they stumbled away, clutching at their bloodied nose, heard them swear and curse like a sailor.

Yes.

"Well, aren't you just...Determined." Assassin spat the last word as though it were a curse. "You actually managed to hit me like that."

NO!

He watched them straighten up, pull a shaggy mane of white hair out of their face, and stand. Their blank, glassy expression hurt him more than the words that followed.

"I don't know whether I should be impressed...or annoyed."

This was his teacher, his mentor, his friend, one of the few people he'd actively looked up to and respected before the end. He'd been his godfather, a surrogate parent to him during those three years. The man who had taught him so much, only to die at the hands of a former student without so much as a goodbye. And now...he was here. Attacking him. Trying to kill him. He couldn't speak. Couldn't think. Couldn't even begin to breathe, such as the fervor of his mind. Some small part of him wanted nothing more than to offer mercy, even as that knife slammed into his gut, and yet...and yet...?!

 _"Jiraiya...?!"_

Assassin sighed.

"Well, you got me."

Groaning, he picked himself up.

"I don't have time to explain, you shitty brat. Just hold still-OOMPH?!"

Clenched knuckles barreled into his solar plexus bearing all the force of a high powered rasengan and sent him reeling. Before he could he could even hope to get a word in edgewise he heard an all too-familiar roar as his face found itself dragged into a screaming knee. A spinning kick shattered his nose again, flowing into a vicious uppercut that left a decidedly Jiraiya-shaped impression against the nearest tree.

He looked up just in time to find himself face-to-face with a teeming mass of light.

"When the hell did you learn how to-

For Rin, it was like watching a nightmare; even as she watched Caster blast Assassin away into the woods, so too did she see her Servant stagger. His body was failing him, his reserves little more than fumes. Frantically, she attempted to direct more magical energy to him in the vain attempt to kickstart his regeneration. He only straightened with a soft wheeze. No. It didn't make any sense. He should be healing. Why wasn't he healing?! If this kept up, if things continued as they were...he was going to... he would...

Naruto stepped forward, heedless of his wounds...

"Huh?"

...and his legs betrayed him, buckling beneath him like rotten driftwood to leave him sprawled out in the dirt.

"Ah. Finally feeling it now, are you?" Jiraiya's smile seemed almost miserable by comparison as he emerged unharmed from the loamy soil, the words muffled as though he were speaking through a heavy cloth. "Took long enough, I suppose. I had to coat a nasty brew on that kunai just to slow you down. Took forever to make, but looks like it was _...worth it!"_

A harsh kick hammered home into his chin, catapulting him backward through a tree. Not a heartbeat later the ruined remnants of that same tree sailed right back at him at breakneck speed. Assassin didn't even deign to dodge; there was no need. He simply slapped the tumbling trunk away with the back of his hand, vaulted the next, and drove a heel into his stomach.

"Stubborn, eh?" he growled. "Fine. Looks like I'll have to cripple you a little."

A hand slammed into his gut and this time there was pain.

 _ **"Five-pronged seal."**_

When had he last felt agony like this? It was as if someone had slammed a door on his last, faltering reserves, locking them behind an impregnable barrier. Try as he might, he couldn't pull any energy to himself, couldn't even muster the strength to stand. He glimpsed the dagger as it flew at his face, followed by a blur of tattered white and purple. He couldn't bring himself to get up and help her, the taint had claimed his arms too now; it was all he could do to drag himself himself forward after them.

"YOU!" Saber swore as she slammed into Assassin, "You lied to me! You used me!"

He backhanded her with ease, sending her sprawling into the dirt.

"I'm a shinobi, sweetheart. Its kinda my shtick these days."

Then his gaze turned towards a backpedaling Tohsaka.

"I don't understand...who are...why would you...

"I could never beat the two of them in a fair fight," a small, lopsided laugh leaked into the air. "Me? As an Assassin? Don't be ridiculous. I planned this from the start. Now that your precious allies have worn one another down, I rather like my odds this time around. And now, then...game over, kiddo."

Rin tried to dodge; to flee, to do as she'd been told. She really, truly did.

But he was just. So. Damned. Fast.

She scarcely felt his fist thunder into her stomach before her eyes rolled back in her head. It wasn't a cruel blow, or even a killing one. He simply knocked her out. Even as her eyes rolled back in her head and she pitched forward, Jiraiya was there to catch her. In one smooth movement he slung her over his shoulder, while the other grasped a knife.

"Anyone else want to interfere?"

A distant roar from the trees answered him.

"Oh, shit." he swore softly. "That's Berserker. Time to dash."

With his captive in hand, he turned to flee.

And someone stopped him.

Until this moment Shirou had been silent, resigned to lurk in the background as everyone duked it out. He had looked on with horror as events spiraled helplessly out of control, unable to do anything more than watch. He was out of his league here. He knew that. He didn't hold any animosity toward Tohsaka, hell, he barely even knew her. But when Caster and Saber fell to a vicious sneak attack, he knew what had to be done. He did not hesitate. He did his duty. Though he didn't know how to fight, not in the traditional sense of the word, he still acted. Still held true to his cherished ideals, the odd belief that had sustained his existence until this very moment.

No, all told, Shirou Emiya couldn't do much.

But he could grab Assassin.

It was little more than an act of desperation on his part; a pitiful attempt to stall for time until help arrived. His heart was in the right place.

Assassin frowned.

"Let go, kid."

The boy shook his head and the Servant clicked his tongue in annoyance.

"It pains me to do this, brat. It really does. But you're in the way. Last chance. Move or I make you."

"No! I won't back down-

A growl greeted his ears. "Fine. Then you're coming with her."

Shirou opened his mouth to reply; only to grunt as a clenched fist sheathed itself in his stomach with blinding speed. It would've been easy to turn that arm into a point. To pierce his stomach. Yet he didn't. Instead breath burst from the boys lungs and he bent double in an explosive gasp. Twin palms clapped over his ears, deafening him. Even as he turned to face the enigmatic servant, another hand blitzed into the side of his head at cruel speed, rendering his world black.

Reeling, eyes rolling in his head, he collapsed.

The last he heard was a bitter growl.

Rather, he saw his lips move:

"Sweet dreams, hero."

Naruto saw it all, helpless to do anything other than twitch.

"Ji...rai...YA!"

That familiar face turned back to him.

"Yes, that's it. That's the look I wanted to see. Come after me, kid. Come to the mountain. Lets put an end to this."

Naruto reached for him, to no avail. He couldn't find the strength.

And then he tumbled into the black.

* * *

 _(...0o0o0...)_

* * *

He didn't expect to wake up.

Yet he did all the same, and immediately wished he hadn't.

It began as a dull ache in his chest, one that swiftly warped into blazing agony as someone forced him awake. He moaned. A small, cool hand settle against his forehead. Another pressed a tall, cold glass of _something_ to his cracked lips. He accepted it in stoic silence but didn't drink, not yet. His mind was too blurred, his body too broken, his wounds too great. It was all he could do just to hold his body together and will himself to heal. It had been a close thing. He'd nearly died, but someone had dragged him back, somehow.

"Where...?" he rasped out the question.

His savior only pressed the drink to his lips all the more.

"Drink." it was as much a request as a command, and he abided by it.

A wash of cool water ran down his parched throat, bringing with it a vague sense of relief.

Sleep-gummed eyes creaked open to find a pair of mismatched eyes gazing back at him, her fair face framed by the light of the rising sun. Had he really been out that long? Belatedly, he realized his head was resting in her lap. Though her brow was fraught with tension, she made no move to dislodge his head nor did she attempt to shake him off.

"Hey, Saber." the words emerged as a rusty chuckle and earned him a flick on the forehead, one he ignored. "How long...?"

"You were out for much of the night." came the stoic response. "We brought you to a leyline to heal."

Wait.

A flash of recognition hit.

"RIN!"

With a yelp the blond tried to jolt upright, only to find his head forced back down a heartbeat later.

"Gone." came the stoic reply. "Assassin took both of our Masters and left us to die. Illya and Berserker are out looking for them. Brynhildr and I have been tasked with watching you." she turned her face aside and for a moment, he thought he glimpsed a flush in her rosy cheeks. "Seeing you like this...distressed her, so she elected to watch the perimeter."

"I need to-

"You will do no such thing." her voice cracked like a whip, halting him. "If you face Assassin-or any Servant-as you are now, you will perish."

Her words brought a frown to his face. "Yet he didn't kill us. Or them. We'd know if he did. So...why?"

Artoria flicked his forehead again, but lightly this time. "What are you implying?"

"Don't know yet." Naruto grumbled back. "Gotta get this seal off, first."

...you may have some of my energy, then." she relented.

"Eh?" he blinked. "I don't really need it, though...

Another flick.

"Just shut up and accept my generosity."

An expert in seals Naruto most assuredly was not, but he didn't need to be in this. He could feel the hasty-how unlike Jiraiya-and shoddy work done to him. It had been a rush job, something done in a hurry. When his mind threatened to spiral back into depression again, he stubbornly took hold of it and focused all his remaining energy on the task at hand. Something like this, he could _break._ He was terribly good at breaking things when he was angry, and right now he was absolutely FURIOUS. Working in tandem, they had the cumbersome seal popped in less than a minute.

The poison...was another matter.

No amount of energy could force his system to flush it out any faster than he already had; not with so many wounds and a recently healed lung. No, the taint was already in his bloodstream; for better or worse, he'd just have to let it run its course. Which meant more waiting. He loathed waiting. He felt sleepy, sluggish even, but his emotions still burned white-hot with confusion and anxiety.

He was missing something here, but what?

Jiraiya wasn't an idiot. He may play a fool when it suited him, but he was lethal in a fight. Downright dangerous, really. So why were they alive? He'd dealt them horrible wounds and paralyzed them both. They'd been at his mercy. So why

When Saber tried to rise, he snatched at her wrist.

...if you are concerned for me, do not be. I formed a contract with the Einzbern girl." she confessed, idly rubbing at his hand. "It was necessary. I was on the verge of disappearing...although why she insists on calling me "baeber", I know not...

"No, that's not it." he muttered. "That guy...Jiraiya...he's smart."

"You're not making any sense-

"Just listen!" Naruto barked at Artoria when she tried to interrupt him. "If the old pervert wanted us dead, we would BE dead. I think something's up here, but I can't figure it out."

Those odd eyes narrowed. "You believe he spared us deliberately, then?"

"I don't know...maybe?" the former shinobi shrugged hopelessly. "Probably? He must have."

"Naruto, that's naive at best, foolish as worst." her rebuke was as sharp as it was instant. "I don't know who Assassin is to you, but this-

"Aha!" He flashed a bleary smile at her. "You finally said my name. Without trying to kill me, at that. I knew you were a good person, Artoria."

Her pale cheeks turned rosy again.

"Idiot."

Naruto let the half-hearted insult roll off his back, but inwardly, his mind was racing.

A good person.

Jiraiya was a good person.

One who'd spared them. Deliberately.

And the way he'd acted, as if he'd been in pain...

"I think he wants to die." the words tumbled out of him before he could think to hold them back. "That's the only explanation I can think of that makes a lick of sense. Why else would he turn us against each other, if only to spare us? Even weakened, we nearly got the better of him. Which meant he wanted to get our attention. And all that was without Berserker and Bryn. Whom we'll be taking with us when we raid wherever he decided to hole himself up. Who does that leave for him to ally himself with, then?"

An almost pleasant smile greeted him as Artoria came to the same conclusion. "Archer, Lancer, and Rider."

"I think...Rider's probably on our side. Just trust me on this one, alright?" Naruto demurred at her baffled look. "Its complicated. I have a feeling."

"It doesn't change the fact that he's up to something." Saber shot back. "You might be wrong."

"True, I might be." he countered." Which is why we need to be prepared."

Saber held her tongue for a long moment, her expression tense as she absently patted his head. Of course, he had no way of knowing her thoughts; no way of seeing the internal conflict that had only now come to a close in the shadowy corridors of her mind. Caster-Naruto, she reminded herself-refused to give up. He'd sworn to beat several foolish notions out of her head and so he had. But just now he'd helped to crystallize her resolve in a rather unexpected way; one no one could have predicted.

...why goes this far for Assassin?" she sighed. "What is he to you?"

He beamed back at her. "He's my teacher. My friend."

She pulled his hair. "Naruto, he tried to _kill_ you."

"Still my friend, Saber."

Artoria dithered for another long moment, considering the smiling face sprawled out in her lap with mild concern. She hadn't stopped stroking his hair, she realized. Even then her hand-traitor!-continued to thread through those flaxen tresses seemingly of its own accord. How long had it been since she'd had that kind of a resolve? The will, to make a former friend-turned-enemy, back into a friend again? Too long. If only she'd had that kind of conviction from the start. How much better would her life have been? Instead she'd pushed others way and lived-ruled-alone until the very moment of her first death. And yet here it was, that same burning sense of raw hope that left her senses in disarray. Really, it only left one thing to say:

"You act as a true king should. I'm sorry to have doubted you."

Her companion blinked. "Well, that's unexpected, but thanks I guess-MMNPH?!"

In a blur, she unbent enough to lower her head and press her mouth fully against his.

Naruto croaked out a low laugh of his own as she pulled way. "Pretty sure what you just did was illegal."

This time, when Artoria flicked his forehead, there could be no mistaking her small, stubborn smile. "Oh, shut up!"

 **A/N: As ever, I own no quotes or references to any sort of media.** **Yes, those were references to Fate Stay Night Abridged.**

 _ **Saber Alter Lily.**_

 **Haven't seen anyone do that!**

 **And now at last Assassin plays his hand.**

 **As I said, we're in the endgame for this story now.**

 **We had a lot play out in this chapter, with more to come.**

 **To those who guessed it, you were correct. Zouken summoned Jiraiya; who is a right wily bastard let me tell you. Of all the enemies he could face, he alone is perhaps one of the most dangerous counters for Naruto out there. He knows his every move, aside from some of the newer cloaks and given rasengan variants. He knows how he thinks.**

 **Worse, he knows just how vulnerable a Good!Naruto is in a fair fight.**

 **Ironically, Assassin!Jiraiya would have a hard time with the less pure incarnations.**

 **So he waits for two of the strongest Servants to wear one another down, and then he strikes. He's certainly up to something, but what might that be?** **I'll leave it to you to find out, dear readers. Only a few chapters left now!**

 **Plot-armor doesn't exist in these stories of mine. Everyone is vulnerable. Especially the main characters. ESPECIALLY the ones we like.**

 **Now I'm off-limping-to work. Looking forward to your reviews/comments/concerns when I get back tonight~!**

 **Reviews are love. Reviews are life. Reviews keep me alive.**

 **And sane, despite the trolls trying to break me.**

 **So In the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review, Would You Kindly?**

 **NO. MORE. PREVIEWS.**

 **Not in this story.**

 **Who will win?**

 **R &R~! **

**=D**


	11. Things We Do For Love (Last Interlude)

**A/N: *EDIT***

 **I GOOOOOOOOT HER!**

 **Two of her, now! What the heck?!**

 **Who says the Gacha is hell?! Not me!**

 **By some struck of blind bloody luck I pulled Lancer Artoria this afternoon. Needless to say I'm a happy boy. Only had to roll a few times for her, too. To cap things off, I also received Shakespeare, Hans, and a few other Servants I didn't have before. If you thought I cackled when I got Waver...well. Now I just need a four star archer and my support setup-excluding Mash-will be gold across the bar. Still Nerofest served me well, I just need one more of those bloody ghost lanterns to get her to her third ascension.**

 **Anyone know where I can find those? I really want Saber Alter though...**

 ***EDIT* EDIT***

 **JUST PULLED HER ON A SINGLE ROLL~! With the last of my quartz!**

 **...I shouted so loud I woke up my dogs. And my roommate. Also my neighbor's dogs. BANZAI!~!**

 **Also found out we have to wait until the FIFTEENTH before us NA folks can use that Four star ticket.**

 **Now my four star ticket can safely be used for someone else!**

 ***coughs***

 **Whoo, sorry about that. Went off on a tangent there. Can't get too excited or I start coughing again. Still really sick after all. You didn't come here to see a dying man-certainly feels like it-cackle like some crazed giddy teenager. You came here for a story didn't you?**

 **So lets clarify some things.**

 **Rin had her contract with Caster!Naruto severed. That's what the Five Pronged Seal did, in addition to weakening Naruto when he was down. Even when our boy tore it off, the contract couldn't just come back. Its gone, until he managed to reestablishes it. Now, then! I'm sure you're wondering why he didn't fade away. The answer to that is quite simple.**

 **Illya-not so little with her new body now, is she?-swooped right in to help.**

 **She, is at present, THE most powerful master in the Holy Grail War. Not only is she commanding a weakened Saber and a full-strength Heracles, but she's temporarily contracted with Naruto until he can reestablish his link with Rin. So we're at the endgame here. Zouken's made his move and sicced Jiraiya on Naruto. I won't say if its "his" Jiraiya or not, or even what kind of game the old pervert is playing here. That would be spoiling things.**

 **At present, no Servants have fallen. Alliances have shuffled around to be sure, but for the most part no one has died.**

 **THAT. IS. ABOUT TO. CHANGE.**

 **Folks were also asking about Medusa. I've said time and again** **, the one in Caster is, quite simply put, the original. All memories from her others selves in other grail wars stem from her here in Caster and all the shenanigans. We haven't seen much of her in this story mind you outside of one chapter, but that changes real quick.**

 **Quote says it all.**

 _"For what its worth, I've come to help you."_

~?

 **The Things We Do For Love (Last Interlude)**

 _Medusa was...conflicted._

On one hand, she wasn't sure how to feel about the death of Shirou Emiya. She hadn't particularly known him enough to care for his well-being. Nor was she a stranger to violence. She had not flinched when Assassin took off his head; nor had anyone seen her eyes narrow behind her "blindfold", such as it was. A small part of her mourned the needless loss of life, but a larger part accepted the truth. This was war. People died in wars all the time, by her hand or the hands of others. She shouldn't care.

But Sakura had cared.

Shirou's death _shattered_ her.

Stripped her of the very will to live.

Knowing this, Zouken forced Assassin to behead the boy before the poor girl; in part because Jiraiya deliberately disobeyed him. Rather than obey his command, the wily spy instead used a loophole in the old worm's order to avoid killing Saber and Caster both. He'd maimed them, true, but they both yet lived. He had been commanded to attack, not to kill. Everything would've worked out swimmingly had the old Matou not used his familiars to observe the fight. He'd seen it all. Everything. What should have been a grand and glorious plan died a stillbirth instead. _Shirou died for it._ All to satisfy the old worm's spiteful fury.

This was the price for their defiance, he said.

Yes, by his very nature Zouken Matou was nothing if not cruel. And so, this time, he willingly sacrificed a Command Spell to make certain the deed was done. He daren't kill Tohsaka yet, if only because he required some semblance of leverage over Sakura. But Shirou had served his purpose. He was expendable. A pawn. And like all pawns, Zouken sacrificed him the moment he ceased being of any use. Hours had passed and Medusa still recalled the scene in grisly relief; the blank look in Assassin's eyes, Zouken's dreadful grin, Emiya's head, tumbling through the air...and Sakura's scream.

The poor girl had screamed and screamed and screamed until her voice finally failed her.

Rider hadn't heard a peep from her Master since.

She'd just...locked herself in her room and bawled for hours. Then she'd fallen silent. When Medusa tentatively tried to enter some time later, a Command Spell sent her hurtling back outside before she could hope to even catch a glimpse of her. That was the sole reason she knew Sakura was still alive, that she hadn't simply killed herself in her despair. That, and the bitter, snarling growl that followed.

 ** _"Leave me alone, Rider."_**

Those words haunted Medusa like a ghastly wraith, even here in astral form. Zouken had meant Shirou's demise to serve as a warning; instead, his actions had only thrown oil on an already smoldering fire. Medusa was not the sort to sit idly by and watch injustice take place. She didn't know what Assassin was plotting, if he truly was aligned with Zouken or simply had his own agenda. Who could say? But she had seen what Sakura was becoming; just as she knew she didn't have the heart to kill her if she snapped. By the sound of things the poor girl wasn't far off from giving into her own corruption. Shinji's death had already affected her. Losing the one light in her miserable life threatened to send her plummeting over the edge altogether. One more push, a nudge even, would be all that it took.

She would not let that happen; no, Medusa _refused_ to let that happen.

She would not let that sweet, innocent girl become a monster. Not like her. But she'd run out of options. Archer was still trying to kill her for some perceived slight she didn't understand. Lancer had rebuffed her entreaties outright. Assassin...no. Whatever strange game Jiraiya was playing at here-she wanted no part of it. Worse, he was leashed to Zouken and the old worm still had two more Command Spells by which to bind him. The world had begun to burn, and their was nothing that could be done about it.

To make matters worse, there were rogue Servants running about in the night.

At first, she hadn't wanted to believe it. But she'd already seen a man in golden armor mow down three of them. That one seemed to be making it his personal mission to devastate any new arrivals. Needless to say, the rest were more inclined to attack her on sight. This shouldn't be happening. By the very definition of the war, there wasn't room for anymore Servants. All the class containers had been filled. Which meant someone had broken Heaven's Feel, wrenched the door to the Throne wide open and left it as such to create havoc. Thus, she found herself left with no choice but to honor the first pact she'd made.

And so Medusa was about to do the one thing she'd sworn never to do again.

She was going to betray someone she loved; in order to save them.

Even now, just thinking about it galled her stalwart pride.

Sakura would see this as a betrayal of course.

She was going back on her word.

There was no other option.

 _It must be done._

Much of her journey had been made in silence; the eldest gorgon sister hadn't trusted herself to make the journey physically, lest she be detected. Naruto would be coming for his Master, of that much she was certain. He would be on high alert, senses cast about for the slightest surge of mana. In his current mood, he was as like to kill her as look at her. Still, they'd made a deal. The clone she'd encountered so long ago was most insistent on that point; telling her that the original would remember this encounter once it dispelled itself. Their agreement had been simple; in a surprising show of humanity, Caster's copy had agreed to help her when she begged him to do so. Free of charge, with no strings attached. After a rather pleasant chat, he'd told her to wait for further contact, then dispelled himself.

Rider had not conversed with Caster since.

The reason for this was...almost depressing, really.

Sakura hadn't trusted such an agreement; on the contrary, she'd forbidden it. Pure though she might be, she was terribly slow to trust outsiders; least of all those who killed with one hand and offered mercy with the other so churlishly. Medusa hadn't been able to convince her otherwise, and reluctantly let the matter drop.

So here she was, going against her Master's wishes.

 _"The things we do for love..._

With a thought she materialized before the doors of the Einzbern mansion. She need not flare her renewed reserves; her presence alone was enough to trip the bounded field. Just as she knew there would be a response; if not from Caster then the motley crew of allies he'd assembled around himself. Medusa was counting on this. If she could sway him, she would sway Saber. If she swayed Saber, she would sway Berserker. Three of the most powerful classes in the Holy Grail War would bring their combined might to bear against Zouken and Assassin. With her aid, distant though it might be, she was certain something could be _-oh._

A whisper of wind against her back was her only warning.

And then Medusa opened her eyes.

She'd removed the blindfold earlier on a whim before coming here; fearing she might need her true strength if push came to shove. Better to have taken it off beforehand rather than risk precious seconds flicking it off and the vulnerability that came with it. Those precious moments saved her life. When the lance flew at her heart she halfheartedly reached over her shoulder and caught it, almost alarmed at how easy it was for her to swing a fist into her attacker's face and send them flying into the mansion.

"Stop." she intoned. "I did not come here to fight, you silly girl."

Imagine her surprise when her foe-a young woman?-bounded off a wall and came at her again with a cry. She beheld bright eyes and pale hair, a lance as cold as death itself. Yet another lancer? Just how absurd had this war become when she wasn't looking? Those mystic orbs narrowed in mild displeasure and Death failed to reach her. Rather, it could not approach. The concept of movement was denied and erased as the blank slits of a woman well on her way to beasthood loomed large before her.

Medusa hummed, content with Brynhildr's silence. "Good girl. Now stay put for a bit, won't you?"

She could not turn someone such as her to stone, but she could at least stun her.

Stepping past her paralyzed form,

With Sakura's mind so close to cracking, the line between the poor girl and the Greater Grail had begun to blur. Now more now than ever she was less and less human and more a function of the very system she embodied to begin with; further imbuing her with an almighty and unstable power. As a recipient of said power, Medusa found herself stronger than ever.

Almost...too strong.

Even as she lowered her arm, the greatest of the Gorgon sisters glimpsed the shimmering scales on her right hand. As she thought; she couldn't control her strength. Full lips pursed in mild displeasure as she clasped her blackened arm. With a supreme effort of will and a Determination that bordered on sheer terror, she forced them to recede. Yes. She was herself. A creature of thought and reason; not the mindless, endless hunger that was the beast. It wanted to rampage, to rage and pillage and reave and EAT-

Something howled.

Distracted as she was, Medusa nearly didn't react in time; her sixth sense lit up mere moments before a great hulking blur crashed through the door and mowed her down into the earth. Yesterday, she would have died in an instant; been flattened by the impact as much as the blade behind it. Now? She only lost an arm only a massive ache in her left side that promised to bruise. An irritated sigh fled from her lips, but she fought down the urge to try and lash out with her strength. Instead she raised an arm-the one that wasn't pinned by a towering sword-and steadied her words.

"Stop, you big brute! I came here to see Cast-

She could already feel the limb growing back even as Heracles reared for another attack.

She didn't fight it.

"ENOUGH!"

A voice like thunder shook her world and gave Berserker pause. Craning her neck, she soon saw why.

"Bad Heracles!" A young woman's shout caused the giant to grumble. "I told you to wait, remember?! Don't go flattening guests."

Caster limped down the ruined steps towards them, supported on his left by a young woman with striking white hair and red eyes; even then, he leaned heavily on a his staff. Thankfully there was someone on his right to help support him in his time of need, someone who resembled Saber, yet...smaller. Not quite as tainted as that dark king. Medusa blinked owlishly as the young man shook free of them both and stubbornly stood upon his own two feet despite the tremors in his bad leg. Jiraiya's description had been decidedly vague; now she knew why. Oh. That looked like an unpleasant wound. Just how badly had he been maimed?

"Long time no see, Medusa." that childish smile flashed out at her as she wriggled her way free.. "You're looking lovely as ever."

 _That_ brought reality rushing right back to flood into the void again.

"We...had a deal." she began slowly, "Its been some time, I know, but I was hoping...you would honor our agreement." when he merely arched an eyebrow, she hastily bulled on before he could think to interrupt her-much less do the deed. "I know you have no reason to trust me, not after my lack of cooperation in this war. I broke the term of our contract. But now...now I need your help." a blond brow rose, but still, the eldest of the Gorgons rushed on heedless of danger.. "I'll give you whatever you want in return for your cooperation; my eyes, me body, my very soul-

"None of that." he clicked his tongue. "Friends don't hurt friends. Of course I'll help you."

"Who said anything about-

"And so will these two, come to think of it."

He promptly rapped both his companions on their heads.

Medusa couldn't help but blink at that; to hear someone make such a promise, let alone be willing to keep it...humbled her. None of the Greek heroes in her era had ever proven this honest; this dutiful to a fault. To hear one such as him readily offer his his aid in spite of his wounds, despite any such inconvenience, well, to say it was baffled went well beyond the scope of her expertise. Part of her still expected a trick, a trap of some sort from Caster, or an illusion meant to lower her guard. His companions had certainly attacked readily enough. Why not him?

Despite his pain, his smile was still decidedly warm.

He straightened and offered her his hand.

 _"Now, let's have a chat."_

 **A/N:** _ **Ouch.**_

 _ **Down goes Shirou.**_

 **And doooooooooown goes Sakura's sanity.**

 **This is one of those rare stories where he doesn't get a happy ending. I mean, sure, Archer will be happy to see him gone I suppose, but still. Did you catch the hint about Heaven's Feel being broken and Fuyuki starting to burn? No? I did say we were in the endgame...**

 **I'm sure some of you are wondering what Jiraiya is up to; so far he seems to be deliberately uniting everyone against him. Now why would he do that...?**

 **Reviews are love. Reviews are life. Reviews keep me alive.**

 **And sane, despite the trolls trying to break me.**

 **So In the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review, Would You Kindly?**

 **NO. MORE. PREVIEWS.**

 **Not in this story.**

 **...fine, then.**

 **...two.**

 **0_0**

 **(Preview)**

 _"I am not your enemy."_

 _"Could've fooled me."_

 _"Silence, shorty."_

 _Saber absolutely hissed. "Shorty...?!"_

* * *

 _"You've ruined her."_

 _Gilgamesh didn't shout; because he absolutely roared._

 _"Mongrels, mongrels, MONGRELS! ALL OF YOU CAN JUST DIE!"_

 **R &R~! **

**=D**


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